my girlfriend is putting our relationship on the line unless i wear condoms?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been going out for just over 2 years.
I am not a fan of condoms at all as I think they reduce spontenaiety, excitement and intimacy.
At the beginning of the relationship i was happy to wear them as there was a risk of her getting pregnant.
For the best part of a year and a half she has been taking an injection and we have been having sex without a condom.
Recently she went to the doctors because she had started to bleed sometimes during sex.
She had to have an unpleasant internal test for sexually transmitted diseses because we dont wear condoms.
I know that i havent been unfaithful and i believe she hasnt.
This test came back negative so wont be necessary in the future.
What i dont understand is that she has decided that she now wants to use condoms (and tried to sell me on the benefits saying shed be happier etc) or become friends - an untimatum.
What do you suggest?

Answer 1

Believe a girl on this. When she wants a condom, there will be one. If you love her than respect her wishes. Sex without a condom will be great for you, but sex without one for her can worry her all the while whether this problem will come back and even getting pregnant can ruin the sex for her. So what if she is getting a shot, birth control isn;t always 100% either. Keep the condom.

Answer 2

Is it possible that she got "freaked out" because of the test she had to have, and is resorting to drastic measures (i.e. bringing back the condoms). If so, maybe roll along with it, stick by her, and maybe she will once again feel comfortable to do it without condoms.

Another thing that crossed my mind was maybe she was unfaithful at one point, and is fearful about STDs, even though the test came back negative?

Or maybe she is just taking all of the necessary precautions due to the medical problems.

The ultimatum has me concerned as well, and leads me to believe there are underlying issues in the relationship or she isnt too committed. You just dont give ultimatums like that in a stable, committed relationship.

And another thing-- I think sex with condoms is kind of hot. My wife and I havent used them in 3 years and I almost want to bring them back for a bit just for something different.

Answer 3

with out invalidating each and each and every of the efficient relationship insights that the ladies who've replied so some distance have presented, i will decrease to the chase in language a guy can comprehend: which may you particularly have, sex with a condom or no sex with out a condom? regrettably, you'll in no way locate out why she has eager to apply condoms even with different birth control measures and a sparkling bill of wellbeing, STD-smart, because you're contained in the Boyfriend Zone -- any question you ask her about why she's replaced her concepts will be perceived as stress about sex, and he or she'll resent you for it. (that's area of the reason i love my mature, sensible, sensible, grown-up center elderly spouse even more effective than i love the vasectomy I had ten years in the past... :-)

Answer 4

Well, if she's on birth control and you are both committed to each other, I don't see why you should have to wear condoms. They don't offer perfect protection against STDs either. If you love her, I guess you should stay with her. Hmmm . . . is it possible that it feels different with the condoms? Maybe you were circumcised too tightly and it's chafing her or something. I've heard of that happening before. Why don't you ask her why she wants you to wear condoms? You're going out with her, so she should be able to tell you. If she won't tell you, say that she should be able to talk to you about things like that because you're going out with her. Good luck!

Answer 5

It is not at all a problem. She has every right to tell u to use condom. Certain types of condoms enhance the pleasure also. Try ribbed or dotted condoms. Some condoms give fragrance to enhance the pleasure. I am a married lady and still I have 4 bf. I invite them regularly during day time. I insist the bf to use condoms. My hubby alone can go ahead without condom during safe periods.
I have a classmate.She told me that she insits her hubby too use condoms always for the enhancement of pleasure.
Why do u worry? Use condoms.
Still if u have some queires, I am willing to give u free advice quoting my own example. please mail to me at [e-mail]

Answer 6

I think that it's a very smart decision for her. She has a right to change her mind at any point and at any time. If you don't care about what she wants, then she deserves someone better. Also, you say that you "believe she hasn't" cheated on you... don't you think it's better to wear a condom until you KNOW that you are both faithful and committed?

There's too much diseases out there to risk your longterm health for short period of pleasure.

Answer 7

My ex always wanted to have sex without a condom and I said no as I had early stages of cervical cancer,and if it is left un-detected I could of died and you get that by having unprotected sex.So if you do love her wear a condom think of her future there is alot of of other fun thing's you can do without a condom..Good Luck :)

Answer 8

Wear the condom already. She is protecting not only herself but you!. Talk to her. Respect her decision for the both of you. She is fearful. I have been through the same. You have to be honest. And you have to face the fact that all stds do not present immediately. A fact we all need to prepare for. Be safe. Honor her wish.

Answer 9

Thats easy if you want to be with her do what she wants she'll come around after the initial fright is over. Don't assume anything ask questions until you find the real answer to the condom deal.

Answer 10

i agree w/ her.. comon wear a condom.. u'll still hav sex... if u don then u'll lose her... r u ready to do that?... i'm pritty sure u dont want to do that... it wont hurt u to wear a condom... i understand that ur exitment and that u want to feel the intimacy n all... but... u should listen to her for once... . plus she'll be happy.. .. she's scared of other deseases that she might get if u didn't wear a condom.. who know... wat if she started bleadin again... n got STD... .. .. jus wear the condom for a while.. she might even change her mind if u kinda nag her evrytime u wear it..... ... good luck havin sex... hope u enjoy it w/ the condom on...