I mentor a 14 yr old boy who is now repeating the 8th grade. He just got his 2nd report card for this year and he is failing 3 subjects (this is his 2nd time around). This is after failing two subjects the ist grading period. I have done everything to encourage him. Explained the importance of an education, gave him some incentives for good grades, etc... His Mom held the Xbox 360 hostage for grades. He is now not getting that for Xmas. His video games are important to him. I do not know what else to do. His teachers say he is capable of doing the work. He jusy doesnt do it. It seems like he just doesn't care. I dont know what else to do. You can't make someone care. Any suggestions?
2006-12-12 13:05:18 · 8 answers · asked by benjamin p 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
FYI...I've been metoring him for almost 2 years now.
2006-12-12 13:06:25 · update #1
He can get good grades in classes he enjoys. I dont think he has a high IQ. He is atleast average. I honesty believe he doesnt care because he doesn't like the classes. He doesn't do his homework.
2006-12-12 13:29:05 · update #2
toughie. withholding his video games until he pulls his grades up to Cs usually proves effective. however, the most effective way to get him to do his work is to WATCH HIM DO IT. kids need to be taught the discipline to sit down and do homework at a very young age, and it sounds like this kid hasn't learned. if i were his mother, i would only let him play his xbox on weekends even after he's pulled out of the F range. that way, he won't skip doing his work to play xbox, since he's not allowed to. as a last resort, his mother can always beat him. sounds cruel, but happens to most of friends, and they DO do their school work.
2006-12-12 14:40:56 · answer #1 · answered by chas_see 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be difficult to help someone that is not motivated to do the work. That's the way it goes really; you're right, you can't make someone care. Doing well in school is all about being motivated to do the work. If his IQ is average he should not have trouble learning the material.
I can say try to make the material more interesting to him, but that is easier said than done. I would suggest that you might need to get this boy into a learning center where they deal with thousands of children like this that are doing horrible in school. This may help to identify what stimulates his interests and might enable him to make a comeback in school. I know you are his mentor but it seems out of your hands at this point; seek more professional help.
2006-12-13 06:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is really a tough one.
I give you credit for the 2 years of mentoring and for trying so hard. I'm not sure I'd have it in me!
Re: your mentee... I honestly don't know what to say. You're right, you can't force someone to care. I'm sure you've talked to him about where he wants to go in life, but perhaps it's worth a shot to try that again. What does he want to do? How does he envision his life? Hopefully something in his answer will give you the opportunity to hook in education to achieving those goals/lifestyle?!
Spell out the dollars and cents of it re: how much lifetime income someone makes dropping out of high school, vs. finishing high school vs. finishing college. Surely some people "make it" (financially, or fame-wise) without a solid education, but those people are few and far between. MOST people have to put in hard work. You could also get some statistics re: how many who drop out end up in jail or on drugs or dead, or something. A little carrot and stick. I'm not saying it'll work, but maybe something there will get through to him.
He should recognize that in a few years he'll be on his own, and without an education, life is going to be very tough for him.. one way or the other.
2006-12-12 13:14:14 · answer #3 · answered by Shars 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You for got to mention IQ and or other tests that he may have taken to show ability. If his IQ is above 120 he is bored with school and will not try. You may want to try really challenging assignments and computer games that require logic and mental ability as opposed to hand eye coordination which is all that is required of most computer games. Also consider science fiction books especially short stories. If these spark his interest then perhaps some of the dumb stuff they give him in school might become more palatable or at least he might do the work to get to the more interesting stuff.
During my two years of teaching the IN School Suspension classes used for a while to ameliorate poor behavior in school I found that respect for the student and challenges for the smart ones worked wonders. I could get the really smart ones to complete three months of work given to them in special education in three days.
The challenge goes something like this. I thought you might like this but it was really hard for me. Maybe its really too hard for you. Want to try it?
Worked every time. Student behavior in other classes improved as well. Don't forget respect and watch the teachers. They often do not show students respect. Somehow they haven't learned you have to give it to get it.
2006-12-12 13:26:37 · answer #4 · answered by Bullfrog21 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so which you have a diagnosis - now what? What suggestion did your scientific expert provide you? advise drugs, counseling etc? Are you doing that? Is she on an IEP in college so she is getting issues like further time for assessments etc. What areas is she solid in - does she have hardship beginning homework, staying on activity, turning artwork in. there are various diverse impacts so with any luck you acquire some solid tips from her scientific rfile and that they made some techniques. Couple of books you're able to discover effective: clever yet Scattered, (Guarre & Dawson) and the thank you to realize and instruct upload/ADHD babies (Rief)
2016-12-30 08:10:16 · answer #5 · answered by bruss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You canot make someone care. What about the boy choosing subjects he enjoys doing and he might up his grades.IHe must be good at something. What about metalwork? I think it sounds like you have done all you can. It sounds like he is just lazy.One day he might wake up to himself.
2006-12-12 13:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one.... have you tried just straight out asking him why he didn't do his homework/ didn't study for a test/ whatever? Cause my old teacher would ask us that whenever we didn't do our homework, and it always made me think... and I never really had a reason not to. Maybe he just doesn't get the subjects, and is too embarrassed to ask for tutoring? Well, good luck...
2006-12-12 13:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by person 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep encouraging.you wil win
2006-12-12 20:36:29 · answer #8 · answered by stefan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋