How do I get over this loneliness?

Question

I met this guy over 2 years ago, we became good friends. We shared a lot, and I mean a lot. (as in being intimate) We have always been there to support one another when we needed it. We talked everyday, even got mushy at times, but both knew that all we could ever be was friends. After awhile I realized I cared for him as in more than a friend. I've noticed these last couple of months he became distant with me. A couple of weeks ago he told me he is going to meet some girl from online and that he really cares for her and they even discussed marriage.
I cried, and cried because I was so sad. I knew things were changing between us, but I thought he cared like I did. I really miss him, he says we can remain friends, it just can't be like it was before.
He left to see her now, I don't see how I'll get through this. He was such a big part of my life and I feel completely lost without him.

Any and all suggestions anyone may have on how to get through this will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much for all the advice and well wishes.

He does know how I feel and that's why I'm having such a hard time. Knowing he doesn't feel the same. He claimed he cared for me a lot at one time and made himself get over it, and he told me he wants me to find someone and be happy.
It's hard though. We really messed up by sharing to much. It just hurts so much because of all that we shared, meant so much to me and practically nothing to him. Next time I will know better.

Answer 1

There is no "way" to get through hurt feelings. Your best friend right now is time. And yourself. You own thoughts will play a big part in how long it takes to get over this hurt. Let the past be in the past. The longer you dwell on this the more you keep bringing it to the present. Start to think differnt thoughts, DO something, anything to get yourself back on track. Move forward, my dear, there's a whole world, (and PLENTLY of nice guys) out there for you, IF you give yourself a break, and try.

Answer 2

First off, all is not lost. He may very well find this girl very different in person. You can be there for him when he comes home all bummed. If that doesn't happen, do whatever it takes to be happy again. Rely on your friends, even those that you haven't seen in ages. Counseling can help a lot and so can antidepressants. I am not a religious person, but it was suggested to me to pray. Whenever I thought I couldn't get through the day, or the moment, I prayed. It got me through it. My relationship ended and I am on a small dose of Zoloft. I am not praying like I probably should, but things are so much better. It's a very long struggle. I'm still in it, but I am looking forward to falling in love again. May I suggest, next time you get involved, make sure you are both on the same page. Take Care

Answer 3

I've been through the same thing, and I know how you feel.
What you said brought me back to a couple of months ago.
What you should do is find your closest friends. Let them
comfort you, try dating. I'm telling you, start dating people who
potentially will want to know you more, who could be potential boyfriends. You know the key to never going through that again?
When you find guy friends, make sure they don't have all the qualities you want in a guy. Sometimes, we befriend the people who we could end up wanting to be with. If you do befriend someone you could be dating, make sure you tell them ahead of time how you feel. I've been in love with two of my friends. One I knew for about 5 years and one I met online. This kind of thing happens a lot. But, it's up to you to want to be happy again. Don't stress that he's moved on. Just know in your heart, he's missing out, and you can find someone better. Good luck!




Krazy Libra

Answer 4

Well the easiest thing to do would be to try to go out and find someone else. I know it sounds hard and you really don't want to, but if that's what he's done than you're going to have to do the same thing.

Meet up with some of your other friends, go out together to movies, bars, the mall, clubs. Try to stay busy, cry when you have to, try to stay away from him as much as possible, and tell him why you need to so he understands. If he's really your friend he'll respect that you need to get away from him to get over him.

It's never easy to get over someone but space away from them and hobbies will keep your mind off of them and that's half the battle.

Answer 5

It may sound cliche, but time heals all wounds. I have been through similar situations. Live and learn. Now, go out with some friends and meet some new people.

Answer 6

Call him when you know his allown and tell him how you feel about and maybe remind him of all the times you spent together and if that don't work get out and see new people it might take time but you can get throw this. don't give up for the first guy you REALLY fall for.

Answer 7

This might sound mean, but you'll just have to move on. When I left my bf of 4 years, I got myself a new kitten and hung out with my friends as much as possible.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Meet other people, too. Don't just sit there and feel sorry for yourself. Chances are he isn't even thinking about you at all right now.

Answer 9

Get out and meet you some new friends or hook up with some old friends He is moving on and so should you.

Answer 10

how old are you? did you sleep with him?
if so he was just using you.
if a guy got intimate with a girl he cares, he would ask her out.
don't worry. he doesn't deserve you.
find a new guy who is more down to earth and kind.