We are both tryin very hard to make our marriage work,i relize he is sorry and that he made the wrong choice when he was drinking,but i keep seeing these images of him with the other woman,and i hate it as he is doing every thing possibe to show how much he loves me,how can i learn to move on.
2006-12-12 12:42:08 · 13 answers · asked by Bubbles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am very sorry that you are going through this, it is extremely heart-wrenching. The truth of the matter is that you will never ever forget. Deal with all of your emotions head on, I'd definitely suggest seeking a counselor, trying to talk out all of the feelings you will be going through with your mate could just cause them unnecessary pain. Talk to an outside source someone who won't choose a side between the two of you, sort out your feelings this way and only share that which is necessary with your spouse for your own healing benefits. Remember that we all make mistakes, and we have all been guilty of hurting someone at some time in our lives. If you are willing to forgive what has been done to you than you are simply blessed. I too have forgiven my spouse for infidelity, but I will never forget the pain that I felt deep in my gut, its a horrible feeling and I'm sorry that you feel that way. Forgiveness can exist without forgetting, it does get easier over time and you will have a spouse that knows your love is not on the surface but that it is unconditional. Life is too short to give up the person you truly love because of one mistake! Pray, talk to people that you trust, and hold the one you love and thank God that they came back to you some of us lose the ones we love to an affair and carry around the most bitter resentment I have ever seen, I hope you win this battle!
2006-12-12 12:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by sappyflapjack 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't move forward if you keep looking back.
Can you do anything to change the past? Unless you've developed a time machine, the answer is "No." You have to accept that it's IN THE PAST and make a concerted effort to put it behind you and move forward with your husband.
Because if you keep obsessing on it, it'll destroy you, and your relationship. A wound can't heal if you keep picking at it.
It will not "always be in the back of your mind" - eventually it will become a non-issue... if you let it go. If you keep chewing on it and worrying at it, no, it will never go away. If you let it go, time eventually heals all wounds.
Don't listen to Zether. If your husband is truly sorry and this is a one-time screw-up, you can move past it and move on. Rebuild the trust and go forward. Don't assume that it's going to happen again, but if it does, leave and don't look back. Once can be an "accident". Twice isn't.
2006-12-12 13:03:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My marriage has been through this. My marriage is solid now, however, I still have moments that my imagination runs away with me and the pain comes crashing in on me. My best advice to you is to live in the moment, get (or continue if you're there) counseling to deal with any issues that might be underlying in the marriage, and be aware that you choose your actions when the thoughts come into your head. It has been a year for us now, and I have been able to forgive my husband, and he has been a better husband now than I have ever had, but my most difficult feelings now revolve around my anger towards the "other woman". If it was just one night, and a mistake made from a drunken binge, I would think you are on safe ground now as long as he is not going out on drunken binges anymore. Hopefully he learned his lesson from this? Either way, the secret is to be open and honest on both your parts about everything in your relationship, and that he continue to do everything in his power to make sure you feel safe. It's tough, and one of the most difficult things to go through in life, but I can assure you, you can get through it and come out better for it. My heart goes out to you. Good luck.
2006-12-12 12:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time heals all, so they say. The truth is you probably won't ever forget. The question is; can you find it within yourself to forgive? It takes a great deal of strength and courage to do this. That's why you don't see it very often. Be patient. If your husband is truly sorry and regrets his indiscretion, he'll understand the need for patience. Let it take time. When you're ready to forgive, you'll know it.
2006-12-12 12:48:30 · answer #4 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
adultery is a major sin and it has consequences. Once trust is violated it is hard to win back. Forgive or forget...it's your call. If you forgive make sure he knows no one can live in peace with a person who sleeps around. If you choose forget....... then it will take time to get over him, but at least your next you know he has the benefit of the doubt and the past is not a stumbling block for your future,.
2006-12-12 12:50:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know exactly what your going through because I'm going through it right now! I am also finding it hard not to think about and one day I'll be fine and the next I dont even want to get out of bed and all depressed. I guess time will heal. Think of it as a fresh wound that needs to heal. As for me I dont know if I'll be able to get passed it we might have to go our separate ways even though we have 2 kids together and 8 years! It sucks, if you want to talk you can email me at drama6mama@yahoo.com
2006-12-12 13:00:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it incredibly is in simple terms too plenty to purely ignore approximately and if the shoe replaced into on the different foot he probable could be long gone. i does no longer stay and stay depressing with a guy that has not greater compassion than to think of you ought to ignore approximately it i could be long gone so speedy from him he does no longer comprehend what ensue. Get out and shop it shifting previously you spend greater years spinning your wheels contained in an analogous spot getting nowhere collectively as feeling as though thats the way your existence must be reason it does not.
2016-10-05 06:01:45 · answer #7 · answered by cosco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you but you need to move on...Wet ever you do you never will forget the infidelity...The damage is done already...is harder for a man to deal with then with a woman is just nature...I am a female and I don't think I will be with somebody that done that to me...Is so wrong...
2006-12-12 12:48:44 · answer #8 · answered by nena_en_austin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will never forget, it will always be in the back of your mind. But, if you are willing to make it work, then you will reach a point where it will not be such a major thing.
2006-12-12 12:49:47 · answer #9 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice name by the way, it's also my sons name. I think that you should move on, you say that you can't forget, Maybe pending time apart will help you two out.
2006-12-12 12:45:55 · answer #10 · answered by This is just my opinion! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋