I caught my daughter??

Question

I caught my 12-year-old daughter watching porn videos. I haven't yet had "the talk" with her so, my question is:

Is it time for "the talk"? If so, what should I say?

Also, Should I punish her for watching those videos?

she found them somehow on the internet

THE PORN IS NOT MINE!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I would have a talk with her about watching those videos as a prelude to warning her about teen pregnancies and STDs. I would also warn her that those videos are not really representative of reality, and that it's all disproportional to reality - like some overblown action film. Get your facts clear in your head, take a breather so that you can remain calm throughout that uncomfortable converstation.

Answer 2

Well I think it mostly depends on if you had the porn videos in your home and she found them, and was obviously curious. Yes, now is the time to have the talk with her. Let her know everything, how you can get Aids, stds, pregnant, be completely honest about it all. How you can get pregnant when using birth control. Be open with her, and allow her to come to you if she has any questions, don't make her embarrassed about it- I know for myself, I really couldn't talk to my parents about anything, so make her feel comfortable. Tell her she shouldn't be watching those videos, she's not an adult, not only that porn can be degrading towards women. See where she stands on sex and marriage.

Goodluck

Monitor her internet use always! Dont' allow her to be on it when you are not home!

Answer 3

Now that she's becoming curious you should definately have the talk with her.. but don't punish her because if you haven't told her not to then she really didn't do anything wrong and was just being curious. Tell her whatever you feel she needs to know. About birth control and how she should wait until she finds the right person, or marriage, whatever your standards are. I think it's a very important issue that you bring up with her because most parents dont. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Why would you punish HER for YOU not paying attention to what she is doing on the internet? I think it was time to have "the talk" with her a couple of years ago. If she's watching porn then it might be a bit late now.

Answer 5

I agree...talk long overdue, no punishment. You should put a filter on the computer, though, for futures.

You need to tell her about men's and women's bodies, love, sex, babies...the whole thing. Let her know what you expect of her. ie if you are against sex before marriage, explain why and tell her so, tell her that you expect her to adhere to that policy while she's in your house. Or explain whatever your feelings are, what you expect from her.

Explain about birth control, sexually-transmitted diseases, HIV, so she'll have a lot of info.

Be sure she starts to see a gynecologist sometime in the next couple of years. No doubt that doctor, as well as her pediatrician, will talk to her about this, as well.

I think you should explain that alot of what she might find on the internet is very disturbing...sado/masochistic, etc. Explain that a lot of it isn't "real," it's "acting," but that she is WAY too young to be seeing such images, that it can distort her view of what is really a wonderful thing between two loving adults in the privacy of their own home.

Answer 6

u cant punish her 4 something she did a few days ago. Yes it is time to have that talk we all dread. BTW was the porn yours, then u need to put them in a safer place and u def. cant punish her for it. Just try to relax when you talk to her and try to start out with a friendly conversation like hows school, any guy friends, boys you like....then take it from there. Im sure she knows a lot more than u think (i know thats not something you want to hear), but lets face it they learn a lot from videos, friends, and sex ed in school. GOOD LUCK stay strong

Answer 7

please don't punish her!! Let her know that what she has done is not exceptable and now is the time 4 u to have that mother and daughter talk i know it will be akward but it's something that needs 2 be done and not just one time or someone else will do it 4 you and they may miss inform her or make it seem like it's something that she doesn't have to take serious. just but it in terms that she can relate to . ask her is there anything that she wants to know? i suggest that you get some books and also talk from some of your experiences. u need to make her feel as if she can come tell u anything as if u were her best friend. because it will kill u 2 be the last to find out anything concerning his subject. but the movies out of her reach and put the parental block on the t.v good luck

Answer 8

Well i think you should have the talk with her now that she has seen it because if not then she is just going to wonder even more than a 12 year old should, you should explain to her that those videos should only be seen by adults and that if you catch her watching them again that you will punish her.

Answer 9

This is a tough one. I'm only 19 and I don't think when I was 12 I was really curious about that kind of thing, but maybe she is. Being curious about the sexual side of herself is normal. Even little babies touch themselves, and they don't know right from wrong. If I were you, I wouldn't ask why she was doing it, you'll probably get the "I don't know" answer ( I know I gave that one alot) instead I would talk to your daughter about what she was watching, and how you feel about it.
If you think porn is bad then tell her, but don't be judge mental. If you come on too firm she might not talk to you about other stuff involving sexual topics. Your daughter might not see anything wrong with porn, and if you "freak out" about it, she might believe that you'll "freak out" about everything else too...

I guess, I would just talk to her, be honest, listen to her, and try not to pass judgment.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

I think you should talk to her about how you feel about porn, and give her a bit of a talk. However, if she is watching porn it is a bit late for a talk. All kids are curious though, I don't think she should be punished, unless she knew what she was doing was wrong.