ok my husband and i are in a HUGE fight about this. He does not like my parents due to the fact that he hit me and they found out and said something to him. They also helped me get out of his house and get my own place. He went to counseling so we are trying to make things work (its not going so well) anyway.... I wanted to take the kids to my mom's to open presents on christmas eve. He will be working anyway so its not like we're leaving him home alone. He said that his son is not allowed at their house and if I take them he or someone else will "kick their door in" He says that if my mom and dad want to give them presents I have to pick them up and bring them to our house.
I totally disagree. I feel like my parents have just as much right to see our son as his do. I cant help it if his mom lives out of state. I also think it is rude and disrespectful to go pick up the presents they got our kids and rob them of the joy of seeing gifts opened.
what would you do?
2006-12-12 12:08:08 · 17 answers · asked by Miranda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He sounds like a violent person with much anger. Proceed carefully and consider the use of law enforcement if needed. Its awful how the holidays can bring out the worst in some people. I would consider the way he has treated you in the past (hitting and such) and contemplate whether you want your children subjected to that level of abuse in the future. Of course your parents should see their grandchildren and his anger shouldn't be an obstacle. I feel badly for your situation and wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-12 12:17:40 · answer #1 · answered by Ripshaw 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
typically an abuser (and if he hit you , he is ) will try to isolate you and yours from your family and friends; if he is saying that just his son can't go and he has a daughter? he is trying to groom him to be like him; this makes me afraid for you b/c it sounds like any minute or under any circumstance this firecracker can go off; he is embarrassed and in check now b/c he hasn't kept his dirty little secret of physical abuse a secret; sounds like a control, anger etc problem.. Will you be safe if you take the kids to your mother's and then return home or will the blank hit the fan when you get home; do you live together , husband and wife ? you have a lot going on here ; sounds like he isn't in a place to have his family back- what are you doing there? I hope that you are going to say that you are living apart and he has issue with it; please seek some help for yourself to get you to a healthy place ; you and your kids are better than to have someone beat you and tell you who, what, when and where you can go; the past issue hasn't been corrected; give yourself and your children a Christmas gift, a home where all family is welcomed and there isn't physical abuse and all this drama from this guy. Stay safe!!!
2006-12-12 12:16:36 · answer #2 · answered by sml 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you are in a hard spot. If we were talking about being fair I would totally agree with you and take the kids over there, It is only fair and right. But in your situation I dont want you to get hurt or anyone else for that matter. If you really feel in danger you need to get out of this situation. Dont do anything that will make him loose his temper though and hurt you. In the end all I can say is that I will pray for you.
Good Luck and I hope you have A merrY christmas!
2006-12-12 12:15:01 · answer #3 · answered by * Jess * Jess * 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you want an excellent relations? I in no way needed an excellent relations, I somewhat have 4 little ones and that i'm getting reactions from some human beings like i had 14! lol it truly is awesome what some human beings evaluate "huge". How massive is 'adequate'? for me...3 replaced into adequate, yet one snuck in there...LOL he's lovable even with the reality that so i imagine we are going to keep 'em. What would i call them? nicely..they *are* named Kyle David, Brandon JonGuard, Delaney Josephine and Hayden Ronald. they're named for relations. purely idea i'd upload...i swore i'd in no way stress a mini van too, yet there isn't any way that 4 youthful ones will slot in an SUV conveniently esp once you're coping with booster chairs. and also, mini autos are a helluva lot safer than SUVs...my youthful ones protection is extra significant than my conceitedness. and that i somewhat dislike the coverage charges on SUVs besides. I rock my minivan LOL (it truly isn't any longer undesirable looking both a 2004 Nissan Quest V6), ill be upgrading in 2010 even with the reality that :) both oldest are youngster and tween so momma receives her relaxing wheels in a 12 months.
2016-11-25 23:48:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is obviously a control freak and you should get away from him and any thought of reconciling as soon as possible... yesterday even!
Are you still living with this thing?!?!?!?!?
Your kids dad or not, he has no right to hit you, and should not be controlling where you take the kids (esp while he is at work!), he should not be alone in your kids presence, who KNOWS what he could do, considering he's already hit you!
2006-12-12 12:32:43 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your kids to your moms. He cant threaten you and even if he goes thru with kicking in the door and taking the kids, theyll be charged with breaking and entering and kidnapping, all felonies with jail time attached. Also if he continues to push, you can file spousal abuse/assault charges against him. Then he would have no chance of getting the kids away from you in court. He needs to grow up and get his temper under control before he gets into real trouble. Due to his temper, you can get a protective restraining order against him if needbe. Its Christmas time so take the kids to their grandparents or where ever and if he does start something dont be afraid to call the police dept. It may save his life. Theres somethings guys just have to learn to deal with and this is one for him. Good luck
2006-12-12 12:20:37 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Leave my husband!!! He is an control freak and you need to leave him. He will not change.... he will most likely hit you again or take his anger out on your son. Do you want your son to grow up and be like your husband? I hope not.... and do you kow how to prevent that from happening? Take him out of the environment.
2006-12-12 12:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by Destinee 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you owe yourself a Christmas gift of freedom from your abusive husband! Please take your kids to see your parents and enough the time with your family. Your hopeful soon to be ex needs to be by himself.
2006-12-12 12:12:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
ur husband sounds like a douche. First of all he shouldn't have hit you. second grandparents should be a part of a kids life. if hes not willing to conform to some changes i'd leave him.
2006-12-12 12:13:08 · answer #9 · answered by nathan R 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
go and see your parents. they are important to you and there is no reason why you shouldnt. meanwhile your husband needs to re-think about his attitude towards you and your parents. (ofcourse your kids). he hit you and your parents helped you. accepted he feels humiliated. but if he is a man, then he should accept his mistake and apologize. not stop you from going to your parents.
2006-12-12 12:20:17 · answer #10 · answered by phoenix.firestar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋