My husband has been lying to me about small (but dishonesty is NOT small to me) things for two years. Now he can't get it up when we have sex, and well...I'm not exactly chopped liver. Do you think he's cheating, or maybe he just doesn't love me? He has been begging me not to leave. I just can't deal with this secrets and lies anymore. He's taken away my trust - and now sex?? Please help.
2006-12-12 12:05:10 · 8 answers · asked by heartbroken 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should not immediately think that he is cheating on you or that he doesn't love you because he can't get it up. Unfortunately for the lying on his part he makes you feel that he is hiding something and that something is he is having an affair. There could be lots of reasons why he can't get it up. His age, medical reasons....please don't assume the worse right off the bat. Talk to him....he may have some guilt issues that when he does want to have sex, the guilt maybe the reason...BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN HE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR. Please don't do this to yourself and talk to him. If he has some issues, work them out and if you can't do it just with you and him, get some counseling. Don't do this to yourself. Best wishes...
2006-12-12 12:23:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't tolerate lying even if it is small things. Honesty is soooo important in all venues of life.
There are many reasons why a man may not be able to 'get it up'. Sometimes it is medical and it can even be mental. His begging you not to leave him is a little disconcerting.
If you haven't yet, I would suggest you sit down and talk with him. Lay it all out, how you feel about the lying, secrets, lack of sex.
If he has already taken away your trust, which is more important to me than anything, you have nothing left to loose by being honest and letting him know how he is making you feel. If after the conversation, you are still not happy (you don't sound happy right now), make a new year's resolution to change your situation.
Best of luck to you.
2006-12-12 20:21:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deserves the respect of being told the truth. If this man is lying to you about small things, then you need to consider that he is lying about bigger things. If he means business and wants you to stay, he needs to accompany you to counseling and get real with you. If he refuses, then you need to take the appropriate action. I hope this turns out all right for you. I'm sorry you're having to endure this. You're in my prayers tonight.
2006-12-12 20:28:56 · answer #3 · answered by Kitten Hood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't say what small things.. he could have depression that will make a guy not be able to do anything or he could have ed ..when a person reaches a certain age things don't always work the way they use to ,, and sometimes that can happen as early as your late 20 or early 30 .. he may be just to embarrassed to tell you
2006-12-12 20:24:17 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that he may love you, but at the same time he could be cheating on you. I think that if he is cheating on you its with a women that is only about sex. he probelly has no attached feelings for her but he does with u and he is scared to loose that connection. You need to ask him and if he gets upset and turns it around on you he is cheating that is the first sign .
2006-12-12 20:11:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb.
2006-12-12 20:17:11 · answer #6 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try counseling--don't worry if he can't get it up with you he can't get it up with anybody else-- try talking to him put all the cards on the table
good luck
2006-12-12 20:18:56 · answer #7 · answered by gabby 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if u have to ask then something must b wrong
2006-12-12 20:17:31 · answer #8 · answered by oohLa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋