If it's meant to be, it'll be...?

Question

Do you have any belief in this? And, how long are you supposed to wait for something to happen. Sometimes people think that if two people are supposed to be together, that, eventually, they'll be together. Me, I only waited about 3 years, but I know other people who have waited longer...and still, what they want to happen still hasn't happened.

Then, when "if it's meant to be, it'll be" doesn't happen...I think they settle for second-best. I have always thought that one day everyone eventually finds their perfect match, but what if that perfect match doesn't see how perfect you are together? Is there only ONE perfect match for every ONE person? What if you find a wonderful, amazing person...a great match....but he/she is taken (happily taken)? What is a person to do? Do you think this would be the only chance for romantic happiness?

Oh..I waited 3 years for the man that I wanted to realize that he wanted me, too. We've been together for 5 years now. We're both 22. Married, and have one gorgeous baby girl.

All through high school, I wanted to love someone and someone to love me sooo badly. I would pray every night for God to send me my love.

Answer 1

If your potential soul mate is "happily taken" then he is NOT the one for you. He can't see that you are perfect together, because he is pefect with someone else. Your perception is off. You don't have to settle for second best. If you open your mind and get yourself out there, you will have a much better chance at finding happiness. It sounds like you are fixated on someone you can't have. How can other guys even expect to have a chance if you are unavailable? Three years is a long time to wait. Three years that you will never get back. Its time to get on with your life and find a real man. This unrequited love business is overrated.

Answer 2

Wow, you've been reading too many romantic novels, watching too many soap operas, or just aren't thinking realistically.

First, "if it's meant to be..." has some validity IF what you mean by that is that we are not always in control of what happens in our life. Many situations call for us to wait - either it's not wise or not appropriate to push it. On the other hand, some situations require that we take control and do all that we can to see that a positive result occurs.

With regard to relationships, may I please crush some of the myths you state?
1) "I have always thought that one day everyone eventually finds their perfect match..." You can drop that one immediately. Thousands of "perfect matches" have developed into dismal nightmares. Fact is, when we hook up with anyone, there is always the chance that Mr. or Ms. Perfect is simply not going to work out very well due to a number of variables over which we might not have any control.
2) "Is there only ONE perfect match for every ONE person?" No, there could be many imperfect matches that come so close to being "perfect" that they are entirely acceptable.
3) So you find someone that seems perfect and they are already taken. "Do you think this would be the only chance for romantic happiness?" No. There will probably be many additional chances.

Please rethink romantic love and opportunities therefor. True relationship happiness may happen intitially because of romantic interest and chemistry, but it only lasts if friendship, trust, and unconditional love develops.

Answer 3

There are lots of people that are perfect for you, not just one. But if someone does feel as strongly as you do, then he's/she's not the perfect one.

Everyone deserves to be loved by someone in that romantic, all-consuming way. To be adored and showered with affection. To have your world stop when you look into their eyes and see all the love reflected back. To have passion so intense that you both shed a tear from the overwhelming beauty of it.

Never settle. You should know before 3 years if it's right. I think you know within 3 months. Don't waste time with someone who isn't right or you might miss your match.

Answer 4

I believe that things happen for a reason. I believe that we have a true soul mate out there for us. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of patience for waiting to find him.

I married my kid's dad because I was afraid that I was never going to meet anyone. I had just graduated from college and was convinced I would become an old maid. We divorced after 20 years of marriage. I realize that I never loved him the way I should have. I just assumed that "true love" and those special feelings would never happen to me so I settled for less.

I met my true "soul mate" and one "true love" when I was quit looking for him. I finally accepted that I would remain single for a long time because I could not find anyone special who I wanted to spend my life with. Once I gave up looking for true love it hit me. We met and the fireworks exploded. I felt all the wonderful emotions I had never felt before. It was just like in the romance movies. We fell in love at first sight. We moved in together after 2 weeks and married after 4 months. We are incredibly happy.

In other words, true love will find you, but not until you are ready for it. You cannot search for love because searching is a sign that you are not happy with yourself and therefore not ready to love someone else the way you should.

Be patient. Work on making yourself a better person while you are waiting for your true love. Find things to do that will challenge you mentally and physically. Keep your mind and body active until love finds you.

Answer 5

When I met my husband I was 15 he was 20. My parents would not allow us to date becuase I was a freshman in high school and he was in college. We were in love, we snuck around and dated for 4 years. We got engaged when I was 19 and ended up breaking up 2 years later. I dated another guy and he was treating me bad. I prayed for God to send me who He purposed to be my husband. To make a long story short I I got back with my first boyfriend and we got married a year later. We actually have ministry together so we were destined to be together. Pray for your husband. And yes, if it is meant to be it will be.

Answer 6

If your soulmate does not earn you, then another will be provided. It happens. I have been in several relationships that were not right for me and the one thing I have learned is my instinct was right on the money, I just didn't listen to it....My bad!

Answer 7

then maybe what you are calling second best was your meant to be. nothing happens for no reason. every action we make leads us to our meant to be. maybe you start off with your second best so you can learn what you need to learn so when you do meet your meant to be you are ready to be with them.

Answer 8

your way young to be making big decsions best of luck

Answer 9

I wish I had an answer for you.. THIS is a VERY good question!