What should I do? I have a secure job and financially it would be tight, but I really want this baby..It was an unplanned pregnancy and he has agreed to pay some support. What would you do?
2006-12-12 11:52:59 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you have the support of your family and friends, then do what you think is best for you. If you really want this child, then have it. If you don't, there's always adoption. You really need to do some soul searching on this one. This is a child that you will be responsible for for the next 18 years! It may be tough, but if you have emotional support from family and friends, that will help immensely. Secondly, if your boyfriend has all but deserted you, and you plan on keeping this baby, get in touch with Child Support Services and open a case for support as soon as you can. I'm not sure if you have to wait until the baby is born or not. I think you do, but I'm not sure. He says he'll pay some support now, but that doesn't mean he'll really do it in the long run. You need to protect you and that child. That child should be the most important person in your life. It's going to be dependent on you for everything!
2006-12-12 11:59:47 · answer #1 · answered by Brenda K 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I would have an abortion, not for him, never, for him, but for me, but that would be because I am not a mothering type nor ever wanted children. So, what I would do is different than an opinion of what I think you should do. What I think you should do, if you really want to have the baby and if you truly are in a position to care for it all on your own, both financially and emotionally, is have the baby. But, do not have an abortion because that's what he wants. It is your body and he cannot tell you what to do with it, especially if he is not accepting his parental responsibilities. Accept all the financial help he is willing to give, but never put yourself in a position where you are relying on it. Consider any money he gives you as a bonus, because some day he's going to get tired of paying it to you. If you cannot take care of this child financially and emotionally all on your own, you should not have the child, whether this means abortion or adoption. Also, do not try to "revitalize" the relationship because "he's the father." If he bailed on you at the most important time of your life, you cannot trust that he is reliable to ever be there for you when you will need him.
2006-12-12 12:11:14 · answer #2 · answered by Venice Girl 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is a decision you will have to make for yourself. You will need to consider all aspects of parenthood. If you really want this baby and can provide the nurturing and care he/she will need then go for it. I personally am strongly against abortion and would not be able to live with myself if I chose to do so. Being a parent is a demanding job that never ends. And it will be twice as hard without Dad around. I think that you should sit down with your boyfriend and ask him exactly whats going on Tell him that this was a join effort and though you are scared you are willing to try to work it out.
Good Luck.
2006-12-12 12:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by Cadillac 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would keep it. I have an 8 month old and he is the joy of my life and i loved being pregnant as well. Life is always going to find a way to make things financially tight.
Think about what you want to live with-a baby or the fact you had an abortion.
And i am not judging because I am pro-choice (but said i would keep it because you asked me what i would do) but if you DO decide on an abortion-please at least educate yourself on how the baby is developed first. They start to have hearts, brains, and a head in the first couple of weeks. Just make sure you've explored everything first and you make an educated choice...and not a choice based on fear.
2006-12-12 11:57:40 · answer #4 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like you really wan this baby and if that is the case then keep it. Your boyfriend can not force you into an abortion and he should be ashamed of himself for even saying you should have one.
If I ever got pregnant and the guy told me to get an abortion I would walk away from him, I do not care how long we had been together.
2006-12-12 12:02:02 · answer #5 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first off what a jerk. second, you and this baby doesn't need an ignorant a55hole like him. Since he doesn't want a baby, try to get full custody. Of course since hes an a55 hes going to fight even though hes telling you to abort your baby.
And men that pay child support barley pay anything. I know about 10 women that the fathers pay child support and its only $50 a month if that!
So for only $50 bucks a month, to deal with an a55hole that doesn't even want a baby.
And does he exspect you to stay with him if you did get an abortion? Lose this guy
2006-12-12 12:05:51 · answer #6 · answered by Nosugarcoating 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Have the baby! He or she will be the love of your life! Especially if you have hesitations, you will definitely regret it years, even decades, later. I know I regret my abortion, and would hate to see anyone else make the same mistake.
Please, you are so lucky that you have more of a head start financially than many other women do, and they still have their babies. You have a good job, and the father is going to pay support (which, legally, you can get from him anyway).
God bless you and your little baby. :-)
2006-12-12 12:10:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
My husband and I are waiting to get a baby through adoption. I know for me, it will be the most incredible gift anyone could give me for a birthmom to give us her baby. There are millions of people out there who want children but can have them just like us. Please don't abort...if you dont want to or cant raise this baby, let one of those families do it. You can always have an open adoption where you can still have contact (pictures, letters, and sometimes friendships with adoptive family). Hope this helps
2006-12-12 16:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by angelic_monster04 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I personally couldn`t have an abortion as i don`t believe in them unless under extreme circumstances like rape or something but anyway if you really want the baby then have it,it will be a struggle but it is so rewarding having a little person who loves you unconditionally.
Is this the reason your bf has walked out on you?
Then he is an asshole and you dont need him in your life anyway but at least he has offered to support his child which is more than most.goodluck on whatever you decide,xx
2006-12-12 12:02:25 · answer #9 · answered by onlyme 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Please don't! Yur baby is a HUMAN BEING who has the right to live. Also, none of the abortion clinics tell you the truth. They only tell you what you want to hear. You may have trouble getting pregnant in the future, and many mothers who abort their babies suffer from huge guilt feelings and the like. You seem like you don't want to abort the child, and I pray to God that you don't! If you're not ready for a baby, there are thousands of couples who cannot have chilren and would love and take care of your baby. Good luck!
2006-12-12 12:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by kerstirae 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋