How do I get it all done and keep it that way?

Question

I am a mom of 3 kids (ages 6, 4, and 3 months) and live in house with my husband, mil, and sil. My husband and I take care of everything in the house. My mil and sil do nothing and don't contribute any money to upkeep at all. They do not help with the housework at all. My husband does on the weekend but only clothes and dishes. The rest falls to me. I am home Mon-Fri and work 12 hour days on the weekends. My 6 year old has to be taken to school and picked up. My 3 month old is very fussy and time consuming. He cries and eats a lot. I don't have much time to get things done. Right now the trash is piling up as well as the clothes and dishes. You can't find the kitchen table or my bedroom floor. I need all the advice I can get. I can't help feeling that I am only one person and can only do so much. Then everyone else makes comments on the mess and I feel like a total failure.So how do I keep the house clean and still be able to do the other things that have to be done?

the really sad part is this is technically my mil's house. it's in her name. we are living with her due to financial strain. we just can't afford to rent or buy something else right now. there is no mortgage for this house because it has been passed down through the family (it's almost 100 years old). even so she does nothing to help. i just don't get it.

Answer 1

It's a tough situation. I take it they are your husband's mother and sister? He needs to back you up, then. Ask for his help; you both need to grow backbones and stand up for yourselves. Unless they are physically disabled, these ladies should be helping you. It's your house. Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt once said: "No one can take advantage of you without your permission." They're doing it because they CAN. Hand them a list of the chores which are now "theirs" and insist they do them, and don't back down.
Good luck!

Answer 2

I won't comment on the MIL, as I don't know her age or the state of her health. But SIL is a freeloader, and should be well able to contribute a little. If they can't or don't want to, let them find someone else to sponge off of. Your husband needs to be informed of this situation.

First of all- You're not a failure. You just have too much to do, and probably too much clutter.

One of the first things you need to do is reduce the clutter. Take garbage bags, and throw out everything that's broken or that is garbage. Take it one room at a time: That way it won't be so overwhelming. Then sort everything that's left into stuff you want to keep, stuff you're not sure about, and stuff you don't want and so will give to Goodwill or a similar charity. Get your husband to help. And the 6 year old can probably help a little by sorting out his toys.

After you get everything in a room sorted, clean then put back the stuff you're going to keep. And afterwards, make sure to put things back after you're finished using them. That way the clutter won't build up again.

The entire project will take several days, probably as much as 2 weeks since you're taking care of the kids between times.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I would be having a "family meeting" with all the adults. Explain to them that you are but one person, and cannot possibly keep up with everything that needs to be done. Start asking for volunteers to handle certain tasks on a daily/weekly basis or start designating the tasks as you see fit. There is ABSOLUTELY NO reason to feel guilty, or as a failure. There's NO excuse for anyone to live in someone elses home and do or contribute NOTHING! Good luck!

Answer 4

let your mother and sister move in together if they don't want to contribute. They should be paying a portion of the rent and helping you with the housework. If they don't want to do that kick them out.