I found out I was pregnant last Thursday.I'm approximately 6 weeks pregnant, although I will need a scan to confirm this as I have extremely irrregular periods.
I am 22 years old and an Architecture student in my first year. I have a boyfriend, however we live in different cities and I wouldn't say we were that serious, although we do like each other very much. He is 23.
Before I get bombarded with messages from arrogant assholes.. who's responses I will very much ignore. I do practice safe sex, the condom split, and I was under the impression that it was a possibility I was infertile.
I have an appointment at an abortion clinic tomorrow, for a consultation. However I am very scared, and feeling very aprehensive. I don't want to have a baby right now, however I can not say I want to have an abortion. I feel awful. I haven't eaten in 5 days, I just sit in my room and cry. I know my boyfriend doesn't want a baby, and he would be devestated if I told him I wanted to keep it. I'm so upset
2006-12-12 11:33:06 · 38 answers · asked by Samantha C 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I had an abortion today, it was the sadest day of my life. and it will remain so forever...
2006-12-14 04:07:38 · update #1
I know you must be going through a lot right now, but I hope you would consider giving your baby up for adoption before aborting him/her. There are a lot of couples out there like my wife and I who cannot have children and would love to adopt your baby. My wife and i have been married for over 10 years. We started trying to have children right away and after going through years of fertility treatments, surgeries, and examination; we are unable to have children because my wife had to have a hysterectomy earlier this year due to medical problems. If you are worried about how you will be able to support yourself, there are adoption agencies who will find a family for you and help to support you through your pregnancy. I have included a website that you can go to and get some answers. Please think about your baby before you make any decisions about abortion. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Take care of you and your precious cargo.
2006-12-12 11:45:44 · answer #1 · answered by jjodom1010 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The choice is yours. Although the condom split and you felt you where infertile, I guess the responsible thing would have been at the time was to take the morning after pill so this kind of situation didn't happen. I really feel sorry for you. If there is even the slightest doubt in your mind that you do not want this abortion I would suggest you do not do it because you will always regret it. Maybe after your consultation you should also make an appointment at a pregnancy clinic and talk about other options. Even though you may not be ready for a baby there are many families that would love to adopt a newborn. You would be giving them the gift of life. Whatever you choose to do, I hope you find peace and solace in and are able to get through this rough patch in your life. Much luck to you and well wishes.
2006-12-12 11:37:52 · answer #2 · answered by Issym 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
At 6 weeks your babies heartbeat is beating making the baby alive so you would be murdering the baby.
A baby is not the end of the freaking world but so many morons act as if it is. If you did not want a baby then you should of been more careful as in using BC and a condom. Everyone knows condoms break and BC fails so that is why you always use both.
You do not know what is going to happen in your life. For all you know you could be in a horrible accident a year from now and because of it never be able to get pregnant again. My cousins ex fiance had an abortion and about a year and a half later she got in a car crash on her way home from vacation, she was in a coma for a few weeks and now can never have kids again. She was very upset and was so mad at herself that she had the abortion.
I know being pregnant can be scary, I was just 16 when I got pregnant and I new from the start my sons father wanted nothing to do with us. Threw out my whole pregnancy I cried and was so afraid but once my baby was born and I held him I just new everything was going to be okay and it was one of the happiest days of my life.
My son is now 2 and his dad has never had anything to do with him, I am now 19 and in college. A baby is not going to destroy you, if anything it makes you stronger and you can have a very fulfilled and successful life having a baby at such a young age.
If you want to keep the baby then go ahead, to heck if he is devastated. None is forcing him to be in the babies life and you never know, he may come around and end up wanting the baby.
Having an abortion is a sin and is something you will have to live with for the rest of your life and once you do it their is no turning back. Do not make the biggest mistake of your life,. If you really do not want a child do open adoption. With open adoption you get to see the baby and make sure he or she is doing okay.
ronb48146 your an IDIOT, you can go to school and have a baby, it is not hard. Do not speak unless you know WTF you are talkign about. She will not have to put anything on hold
2006-12-12 11:55:45 · answer #3 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
aww hun. please do not go thorugh an abortion.i think it is wrong to do this and as you say you have very irregular periods and you didnt think you could have kids think of this as a blessing in disguise.
if you feel you really dont want to be a mum then at least considor adoption for those who sadly cant have kids.
dont let anyone force you into doing it. it is your body your baby its up to you.
a baby is the most precious gift anyone could ever have.
when i got pregnant my daughter was planned but when i was actually pregnant i got scared and worried that i was donig the wrong thing.
but now my daughter is here the love i have for her words cant describe it. my heart is the size of the universe and all the love in it is for her.
this baby already has a heartbeat you are already nuturing it you are already a mum even though the baby isnt here.
please trust me when i say that this baby will be the best thing that will ever happen to you coz it truly is. watching my daughter grow and learn new things is wonderful to watch and knowing i help her learn fills me with such pride.
when i'm feeling down just one smile from her face makes me happy again. she brings out the best in me and she always will.
please think about what you are sacrificing. having a baby isnt the end of the world you can still study and get a job you can still be who you want to be but even better because you will have your baby too.
sorry for rambling on but after having my baby i would do anything to try and show others how wonderful it is to be a parent.
good luck hun on whatever you decide. i hope you make the right choice for yourself and no one else.
2006-12-12 13:04:49 · answer #4 · answered by babytots 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't forget about adoption. You would be inconvenienced only with the actual pregnancy and labor and could still continue with your studies and a healthy lifestyle. You would also not have to deal with any abortion grief later in life. Not to say giving a baby up for a doption would cause any less grief but at least you could always be a part of that person's life later in life if you eve decided to. By having the baby and giving it up for adoption you would also be making a family who can't concieve children extremely happy. I'm a pro choicer but am a big fan of adoption over abortion. Good luck in whatever you do and don't be afraid to find a counselor to talk to through school or wherever.
2006-12-12 11:44:37 · answer #5 · answered by Phat Kidd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, Its not up to him whether you keep your child or not. But anyways, having a baby is not that devastating..Even if you are in the middle of studies, etc..I had my first at 20 and it was wonderful. When you have your son or daughter, it will be the best thing in the world. My husband and I are having our 4th child right now..my first daughter and its just as wonderful. I guess Im just saying dont be so depressed about it. Its not the end of the world and your life doesnt end because of a baby. If you are apprehensive about getting an abortion in the first place, then you will most likely regret it for the rest of your life. Good Luck with whatever you choose and try not to be so depressed about it....(Easier said than done, I know..but still try to think positive.)
2006-12-12 11:44:44 · answer #6 · answered by Blondi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off RELAX! I was 18 when i got pregnant with my first.... and I was half way thru my first year of college. If you don't feel abortion is what you truly want... remember their are other alternatives. You are much braver than I .... I told my now husband when i was about 8 weeks so i could sort thing out on my own. I knew right away that I couldn't have an abortion. Remember that their are a lot of loving families out their who are just waiting for a baby to come their way.... Adoption is always an answer. You need to tell your boyfriend because he should have a say in this also. it is his child's future at stake as well. You may change your mind about not wanting the baby also. I was seriously looking at adoption... but my hubbie convinced me that no matter what happened between us, he would always be here for our child. So I decided to keep the baby, we got married before she was born (i was 7 months though!) and now we are expecting our 4th. ( I am 26 now) Realize that this is a life changing decision, not only for you but for your boyfriend as well. and you shouldn' thave to do it alone! Please if you need someone to talk to or need advice in anyway email me and i will give you my IM name. Please don't make split second decisions that you will regret for the rest of your life!
2006-12-12 11:43:54 · answer #7 · answered by trippinwurmz 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to take a deep breath and calm down. Congrats, you are now a mom. In my opinion, abortion/murder is not an option, and you sound like you know that deep down.
So, as far as I see it, you have 2 options; adoption or raising the little person you and your boyfriend created. The little person who is growing inside of you, who already has a heartbeat, and development of some limbs, a little person who is already a baby boy or a baby girl.
I know adoption would be hard, but wouldn't you feel better about the decision you made, knowing that at least you gave the child a chance to live?
Why don't you stop and think about why you say you don't want a baby? Is it because you think people will look down on you? think you'll have to quit school? think you'll be poor forever? think your boyfriend will leave? Let me tell you, you don't have to quit school, yes life will be harder, but there's nothing you can't accomplish if you set your mind to it.
Something to think about: I don't know any woman who has ever said she regretted keeping her child. What purpose does your life have until you have a child?
Can I ask why you care that your boyfriend would be devastated, when you say you are not serious, and used the word 'LIKE" not "love"?? you need to make this decision without him. If you were married, I would say he needs to be included, but it doesn't sound like this is your future life partner.
2006-12-12 11:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mistakes happen and that is why women deserve the right to choose. However, choose means whatever you feel is right. When you make this decision think about you not your boyfriend. You are a student and you know what you want out of life on the other hand if you do want this baby, don't let your b/f persuade you to do something you want. It takes two to tango so in having sex it is always a possibility. I am saying this and am waiting for my period to come because of the same thing you went through so I am not saying it rudely. However, maybe you should just go to the appointment and hear what they have to say, however from what you say you don't sound like it is the right time to bring a life into the world which is fine that is why there is CHOICE.
2006-12-12 12:41:03 · answer #9 · answered by Annabelle 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you need to do what you feel is the right thing for you. if you and this guy are not serious and you want to keep the baby, that is your right. I would suggest taking the semester in your third trimester off, if you keep the baby. I am working and going to school at the end of my pregnancy and it is a bit tough. As for the single mom part. I have done it. I did it while I was in the military. find a good daycare. most daycare provide discounts depending on your income. Take a few days to think about this. Eat something for your own sake. Don't do something because you think someone else would want you to do it. this is your choice.
2006-12-12 11:45:05 · answer #10 · answered by singitoutloudandclear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋