Slu*T
2006-12-14 02:48:51
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answer #1
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answered by jill@doodle 5
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I doubt you are ever going to get back together with your husband. Not only was he cheating on you, but now you have children by another man. I think it is time to end the relationship with your husband and make the divorce final. The fact of the matter is after this ex-boyfriend slept with you, he wants to go back to his estranged wife. You should not start things back up with this guy. He doesn't love you and the most he can do is pay child support or decide to play an active role in their lives as a parent who lives apart from them. You are going to be a mother of two child and you need to think about them. It is not fair to put them in the middle of this drama and give them a life of insecurity and instability. You need to tell your ex and your husband what has happened. You need to rely on your family for support and strength during this difficult time. You need to not let your emotions for these men compromise your already difficult situation. If possible, speak to counselor about this and find the best possible steps of action.
2006-12-12 11:25:13
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answer #2
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answered by Ann Ducketts 2
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I think you and your hubby have a lot of talking to do. First of all, though, you need to think, if only being married for 2 years, and ya'll have had nearly half of that time being seperated and on the verge of divorce, and moving out, and cheating going on, what kind of place is that to have children? Second, the babys daddy needs to know, and maybe your not in love with him, and it was just a fling, but now there are lives involved and they have to come first. So tell him and if he is going back to his wife, at least he knows they are there, and since there is no love lost there from a fling that shouldnt be a problem. But if you and your husband are going to take your marriage seriously, then tell him what happened, explain all mistakes and decide from there whether you still want to be married to each other, and if you are prepared to maybe face raising your new children on your own.
2006-12-12 11:20:08
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answer #3
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answered by nogoodnamesrleft468 1
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Truth, truth and truth. Nothing quite like it to iron out sticky issues. No matter how difficult it is, tell everyone involved the truth and see where the cards fall. Do it soon though. You want to have as many options open for yourself as possible while at the same time trying to be fair as possible to everyone involved. (Honestly, it doesn't sound to me like the ex-husband is worth your love or worry. Once a cheater, always a cheater.) But the outcome is in your hands. Retain your own power over the situation. Decide what you want for yourself and the welfare of the children. It may be you are better off without either of the guys. You can do it on your own if need be. Too many women sell themselves short in their ability to cope with life's situations.Just make sure the kids know Daddy and have the chance to get to know him.
Good luck
2006-12-12 12:17:39
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answer #4
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answered by Slimsmom 6
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You have to ask yourself who do you love the most. First of all you future x husband left you twice once for another woman. so the lawyer is sounding very good in this mess. You need to confront him about the twins anyways. sounds like you got a good life so try to make this work. but if you decide to be crazy and let the lawer get away then atleast consider adoption for the twins if you dont feel you can handle kids right now. you can even choose there parents for them. Alot of people out there need children. but i would defantly tell the lawyer.
2006-12-12 11:20:50
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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First of all life is to short to be living a lie. Just take a moment and think about the whole situation. But the bottom line is that you need to be honest with everyone including yourself. Tell the ex boyfriend about the pregnancy and your husband as well. You wasn't together when you got pregnant and who knows who he has been with during the separation. so just be honest and live life ok.
2006-12-12 11:21:33
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answer #6
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answered by mnmpeices 2
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Time to tell the lawyer hes going to be a daddy. Hopefully the lawyer will have some sage advice or will take the case and you can get divorced from NJ. The lawyer is going to need to pay child support unless he intends to marry you. Good Luck.
2006-12-12 11:18:49
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answer #7
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answered by fortyninertu 5
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Your marriage kind of sounds like my marriage. That back in forth with your husband is not going to work. Stay in NJ were your parents live. If you do take your husband back have him move out there. Be honest with you. I don't think its going to work. The twins there your husbands or your ex? If there your husband you don't have tell the ex anything. Let him go on with his life. But if there his well your going to have to say something.Either way it gos your going to be raising them up by yourself if your marriage don't work out. And that type of work you do am sure it could wait a few months after the bady our born. You have to women up to your actions.
2006-12-12 11:25:13
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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It sound like there is alot of changing of beds going on in your marriage and it sounds like you have crossed every boundry you can cross. You need to tell the boyfriend and probably get out of your marriage at this point. Do you want your husband to decide five months from now he can't do this. There is no security in your marriage and bringing a baby(s) into the situation is going to make it ten time harder to rebuild a marriage that has suffered the kind of betrayel and lies your has suffered. I would not tell your husband at this point. Wait till you have a more concrete plan. start making one.
2006-12-12 11:36:01
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answer #9
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answered by Maizy * 3
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Honey, I feel your pain!
You would not believe how much relive there is in coming clean in a situation like yours, messed up as it . Lying would only add more stress in both your life and your already rocky marriage, so I would recommend you to get the courage to seat with your husband, and tell him exactly the same things you have disclosed to us here with your question, I can easily understand you, by reading your question, it is simple; he cheated, you got hurt, things weren't working out as far as having a baby, he left, you forgave , he came back and left again, one thing let to another one, that is life, and he won't condemn you, for what happened, if he does, you don't need to be with him.
I know that having babies is extra job, but hasn't kill any one, women with careers and goals in life have made it through with babies, there is so much help out there that you can seek, great baby sitters, and counseling for yourself to overcome this fatality.
So Cher up, the best thing ever are your new babies, and I know you can pull this through my friend. So don't put it up for too long, it will kill you alive and will stress you so much and that will be very dangerous for both you and the babies.
2006-12-12 11:54:49
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answer #10
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answered by Gabriela R 1
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Please don't have an abortions God bless you with the littles for a reason he will help you take care of them your husband will probaly be upset but he said he couldn't do this didn't he. Don't worry about him he either will accept or not you said you wanted to have kids with your husband but when we sin like that it has a way of bitting us onthe a-- hard. Focus on you and the twins they have lots of people that hel single moms these days. Remember thet are a blessing and a gift from God. Don't throw a gift way that was from the God that created you.
2006-12-12 11:23:43
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answer #11
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answered by tellthetruth 3
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