My life is messed up & i need help?

Question

First question I have ever asked, kind of awkawrd moment. Alright I honestly fell like **** from my parents. I'm not really proud of myself either but I wanna retaliate and tell them my life isn't easy. I'm 22 & walking down a dark road. Starting from when my sister left for college I didn't see my parents that much, they were always working night shifts. I saw them maybe 1 hour on weekdays & 5 hours on weekends, but they talked to me like 10 mins on weekdays & an hour on weekends. They were never there & my sister treats me like her kid & yells and makes me feel worthless when I do bad in school which was actully a lot. Everytime I spoke to them it would always be about school & education, nothing else. So I grew up not really knowing my parents and under very strict conditions, which I followed even though they weren't there. In high school I was dianosed with depression & I drank a lot.
After high school, I decied to join the marines, "war on terror". But I was discharged dishonora

(sorry, ran out of space) discharged dishonorably for going AWOL. When I returned I decided to rebuild my life, but I needed a place to stay, so after a year away from home I returned to my parent's place, which was a bad idea. Joining the military pissed them off in the first place but when I was discharged they were furious. I got a job as a local bouncer, (I wiegh 238 & am well built) and attended community college. But my scores were pretty bad due to the fact I was up all night at the club & my classes start at 9 in the morning and end at 7 at night.(10 hours so I can graduate fatster) My parents who are now living the easy life used this to yell and make me sad. I once even had a serious thought of suicade (deep huh?). My sister is now a well respected doctor and is living the american dream, my parents keep on comparing me to her. To make matters worse, I have a teared tendon but I have to kkep on working because I need the money.

I feel like **** & anti-depressiants only make me feel worse. I just want to leave it all and go out and try to survive on my own. But I can't & I want to clean myself up before I son or daughter is born. I also want to tie up loose ends my ex-gf who is pregent with my kid, but she left after I was arrested for drunkdriving. I want my parents to reconize me as an equal and I want all these bad things to stop happening to me.

PS: at first I thought that the only people who use yahoo answers were teenaged punks, but then I relized I need some help and where better then here to get opions? Thanks

People keep on asking me about the marines thing, AWOL stats for away with-out leave. When I finished basic training I was shipped to Iraq, it was mid 2002. Things were going pretty good, I was in the front lines but I made a friend, one of my first in over 5 years. At the end of 2002 like november me & him & a bunch of other guys were out on humvee patrol. I was happy, first in a long time, I thought I knew my place in life. We thought we heard gunfire so we went to check it out, it was a peaceful; town so we almost never saw any real problems aside from the occacional drunk iraqi. We stopp in a town square when suddenly someone oppened gunfire on us, I ran behind the humvee and radioed back. I turned around to look and my friend, my best friend was lying on the floor dying, blood coming out of his mouth and sholder. I froze up, I couldn't move and I blacked out. When I woke up in the base I threw up for almost 5 minutes and almost had a siezure. In the end I found out he was killed.

(Man this is long)
Right my friend is dead and I am emotionally scared cause I just stood there and blaced out. The truth is I was scared, I didn't want to die & I was afraid. I'm Indian which means I look a lot like a iraqi. I ofeten left the base unnoted wearing iraqi clothes and hung out in bars & places. I did everything to avoid doing my job, I even cried somethimes. Eventully my commanding officer got tired of my bs and discharged me for over 100 days of AWOL. I was told to seek therpy but I ignored it, I grew up believing in myself only and thats the way it's gonna stay. To tell you the truth, I'm afraid of getting up every morning, I fear dying, well actully I don't I fear what happens after dath, what if you do actully meet other spirts, what do I tell Shawn? Sorry man, I just froze up & let you die, no hard feelings right? Look I'm messed up and everyone who helps me, thanks. Sorry it's so long.

Answer 1

I would suggest that you find a Christian church pastor that leads young men in ministry. I believe that confiding your feeling in someone who cares about your welfare and that can also let you know how much God loves you would be a great start on a road of self discovery and healing!
God Bless you and I hope that you can mend things with your family.

Answer 2

You sound like you have a lot on your plate. Wow your life must seem overwhelming and I agree that it must be hard to be compared to a successful sister. Ok you have made some mistakes but you need to focus on the positives in your life. Instead of making yourself even more anxious trying to finish school why not take courses part time and try and take them at a time that will allow you time to get enough rest so that you do well. If you decide just to work on general courses this will be an easier to way to give yourself time to figure what you want to do for the long haul. 22 is still very young and you really should try and be gentler with yourself. Reinforcing the negative comments from your parents with your own feelings will not help. Remember that everyone makes their share of mistakes and bad choices and that you are not the mistake. We learn from doing these things and the fact that you are not repeating the same mistakes over and over proves this to me. You are no different than so many guys your age and please don't take this as derogatory. Life is not the same as it was when your parents were choosing careers. This is why it is imperative that you start thinking about you positive attributes. I can tell you one right now and that is that you are not a quitter. It is pretty courageous to move home and try and make something of yourself especially living with parents who are overy judgmental and critical. Go to a counselor at your educational facility and ask about some classes in something that interests you totally even if you may not beneifit in the long run from it. What you need is a healthy dose of self esteem and doing something you enjoy will certainly improve you outlook on life. I know this time of year sucks when it comes to family but try and brave it out and hopefully in January your luck will start to change. I believe in you and think that eventually everything will work out the way it should. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Look everyone goes through a point in there lives where they feel lost and or confused, alone, and like a failure, basically just scared (it's part of becoming an adult). Some people have there life figured out, but probably mostly because pushed by their parents hand. But we have to take the things we go through and use them to motivate ourselves. Like your parents working all the time for nothing. Learn from that to make sure you work for your living, but you also take time to enjoy what you work for.

Also you're young, so you're not a failure, anyone can still make changes at any age really, but what I'm saying you're percentage rate is High for Success. But education is important so try your best to work hard at that because mostly everything requires a certification or degree now. And if your going after degree and do want to go to school try to but your recrational habits to the side when you get closer to internship or obtaining that career, because no drug is worth your career which is your life, if you make it be (or you can just be a drunk hobo). With the marines I can say I don't agree with signing your life over to the government, they own enough, and also that would have interferred with when you got ready to spend time with your own family one day, but it was a good way to pay for school.

But there are plenty of free scholarships out there, grants, easy payment loans (try to have someone co-sign if you have bad credit), "Look For It, Work Hard At It, 'Just Do It'". And as far as your family goes they are always going to have something to say, but with time they will come back around, and be proud of you while you're trying to succed, even though they may not say or probably just won't know what's going on with you. Try to work at that with you're family give them updates and such things as that, don't let them worry, even if they act as if they don't care, but don't try so hard, that will come eventually.
And last but most important I don't wat your religion is but even if you have one, but you do need to draw yourself closer to GOD, pray, be patient, and humble with every new success you meet. Get rid of people that just want your company because you're in they same pit they're in (misery). Because sometimes the people you carry can bring you down, way down, but you can always get back, no matter what!

Answer 4

Any day you wish; you can discipline yourself to change it all. Any day you wish; you can open the book that will open your mind to new knowledge. Any day you wish; you can start a new activity. Any day you wish; you can start the process of life change. You can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.

You can also do nothing. You can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change yourself makes you uncomfortable, you can remain as you are. You can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are yours to make. But while you curse the effect, you will continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespear uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves." You have both the ability and the resposibility to make better choices beggining today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

You cannot allow your errors in judgement, repeated every day, to lead you down the wrong path. You must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how your life works out. And then you must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into your daily life.

And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advise for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life - If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life - and it all begins with your very own power of choice.

Answer 5

your life is not so messed up it cant be cleaned up. Look i was a drunk and became one just to get even with my parents who were very abusive to us. I couldnt stand them. now im 41 and two years ago i decided to clean up my life and act. I realized life is not so bad. every since i quit drinking and started praying more my life has gotten good. God has really been good to me. I lost a home my family and my children. But now im getting it all back. Its going to be alright ok. all messess can be cleaned up. it just take a little time and patience then you day will come in the sun. God bless you and good luck.

Answer 6

Who has a existence that is not even a tad bit tousled? a debt no strategy to cross to institution nonetheless residing with my father and mother no glasses so Im blind Im operating a crap time table that are supposed to provide you sufficient to peer a little bit of what's going on... I dont rant good

Answer 7

damn...sorry dude. ive been depressed and kinda had a similar family situation my whole life. the first step is to get on medication. some antidepresants will give you the initial strength to get past this time in your life. Just dont give up, life will always change course, stick in there and dont be to proud to get help.

Answer 8

wow. i would advise you to get involved with your life outside your family if you can't fix the family issue. and it's understandable, people dont change easily. you have to concentrate on yourself and do everything to be happy despite the stress your family is putting you through. i hope you have dreams about your future. find out what you want to do, who you want to be and do eveyhting you can to acheive those dream, goals you set for yourself. find new friends, maybe try something different. find out what you like to do and do it.

if you need someone to talk to, drop me a line to [e-mail]

Answer 9

22 & walking down that dark road, confused, lost, hurt, unsure, scared, hopeless. Its too bad you didn't have a good friend who was truly there for you or a grandparent or just someone.
Everyone moves on in their lives just like your sister & parents did or it was just to simply survive.
I grew up under strict rules also. My mother ruled the house. What she said was what went. Nothing less. I remember being about 6 or 7 years old & I was doing a project for brownies, I believe. It had to do with feathers & my mother glued this yellow feather to the paper & she told me to hold it firmly in place so it could dry, but she failed to mention that to me so I curiosity lifted my hand & wow I never knew someone could scream & freak out so much at once. I obviously to this day can't stand confrontation. My eyes start to well up & I feel like I'm about to cry.
Feel blessed that at least your parents spent 10 minutes with you even if it was just about education. My mother & father never spent anytime talking to me & I was the oldest, plus I was the nicest kid & the easiest one to get along with.
I felt hurt, but soon learned to deal with things on my own. I remember being about 14 or 15 & I got my mom to drop my friend & I off at school in the late afternoon & we walked down the long field towards the end where there was a gate. My friend & I were going to meet a boy & his friends, (that were from my school, so I knew them). As I walked down that long field I couldn't help but wonder what my mother must think we were about to do or go.
Do you know she never said a word, she never asked where or who, or why. I thought at least this would warrent some type of wonderings, but it never did.

After that I realized that I would never have the type of relationship that I had seen or dreamt of. To this day I don't speak with my mom. We never speak unless I pick up the phone & call her even then our conversation is strict & limited.
I promised myself that if I ever had kids that I would not be the type of parent that my mother was,& I'm glad to say I always talk to my kids & they willingly speak to me too!

As for your sister, she too may have been walking down that dark road. She too probably had to pick up new responsibilities.
How old are you & how old is your sister? Is there a huge difference in age? No matter the age, your sister should treat you with as much respect as you treat her.

Don't ever let someone else make you feel worthless even if you are hitting a few bumps right now. I heard this once: For just one negative comment that someone endures it takes about 100 positive comments for that same someone to get over the negative comment. Now imagine that!

I learned at a young age that no one was going to be watching out for me emotionally, so I learned to praise myself. This took quite awhile to accomplish. In school I was always happy, like a never had a care in the world, but inside I was a nervous wreck.
Learn to like yourself. Learn what you need, learn what you are all about, learn what you like, learn what you hate. Its all about learning to treat yourself well when no one else ever has.

In high school, depression wow!...
I never experienced that until I was 22. It came crashing down after I was in a car accident. I was rear ended with an injury. I never thought I could be hurt seriously, but I was...
Depression flat out sucks. There is no way around it. One year I spent 3 weeks in bed, just sleeping, not even interested in watching tv. I hardly even ate. My bf had to wake me up to eat dinner. I would then back to bed.
I hated it, I hated myself, I hated life, I
hated living, I hated dying, I hated waking up,
I hated going to sleep, I hated worrying, I
hated time, I hated dark, I hated light, I
hated nothing, I hated everything..........

I too was diagnosed with clinical? I think? No one was there to help me out, it was me just myself, I had to learn to like myself again & after that it still took alot.

Why were you discharged? Couldn't keep up with the life of their demands? So what you were discharged, everyone hits the lows no matter who you are. No one in this world is perfect, not even you!!! Congrats on even joining the marines!!! That took balls!!!
Anyways Good Luck
Nicole

Answer 10

the question being?