Is my intro pargraph right?????? please correct it....?

Question

please correct it....
the following is my pargraph.....

I think the United States should justified in declaring war on Britain in 1812. Because the effects of the war are increased American patriotism, weakened Native American resistance and U.S. manufacturing grew. As you can see, that the United States has won the war in 1812.

thanks for reading it.....

Answer 1

Not only was The United States justified when they declared war on Britain, they also created many positive effects for Americans as well. Some of the positive effects included a surge in American patriotism, a weakened Native American resistance, and a growth of U.S. manufacturing.

Not much to work with though.

As you can see, that the United States has won the war in 1812.
YOU DO NOT DISCUSS WHY THE U.S. ACTUALLY WON THE WAR, YOU ONLY SAY IT WAS GOOD. but its all good, **** it.

Answer 2

The United States was justified in declaring war on Britian in 1812.
The effects of the war increased American Patriotism, weakened Native American resistance, and caused manufacturing in the United States to grow. As a result, it is easy to see why the United States won the War of 1812.

Answer 3

I think the United States should (Why do you need the should?) justified in declaring war on Britain in 1812. (If you have opinion, say it without I think.) Because the effects of the war are increased American patriotism, weakened Native American resistance (to what?) (comma) and U.S. manufacturing grew. (That's a sentence fragment.) As you can see, (No, I can't) that the United States has (Why do you need the has?) won the war in 1812. (I don't think it was actually in 1812.)(I see nothing to prove we won. i can't tell if we tied.)

The United States was justified in its declaration of war on Britain in 1812. The effects of the war were that is increased patriotism, weakened Native American resistance to settlers, and the American manufacturing became more successful. The United States won that war.

I hope in the rest of your paper, you plan to show why those things happened. Also, it feels a little disjointed and short.

Answer 4

Read it out loud champ and see if it makes sense to you. Rewrite until it sounds good when you read it out loud, you'll learn more that way than if I or someone else just rewrites it for you.