I'm getting better with this but Gay Women make me uncomfortable by thier presence. I work as a bouncer at a lounge and we hold a all gay women event once a month.
I'm never at ease the entire time, I remain respectful thou. I didn't ask to be this way I certainly don't want 2 be, but I feel sooooo out of place around Gay women like I'm in the wrong for being a guy, it sounds silly but man is it true. It's like there is an invisible line drawn your male stay away from us.
Gay dudes don't bother me one bit. I guess it's cause I'm not gay but whatever.
2006-12-12 09:51:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
THANKS for your input.
2006-12-12 10:27:11 · update #1
You know gay guys and they don't scare you because you know them and know their normal like-able people just like yourself... lesbians are tagged as not liking men... for the most part not true - they, the ladies night crowd you're having problems with - maybe they're as nervous about you? Big bouncer who is most likely hetero and possible anti-lesbian or gay... smile and bring out the nicest hello when your great them at the door - if you notice someone from before take the time to recognizer her.. and lastly, try and talk to some girls that aren't dressed to much like you! you'd be surprised how many of the girls might be bi? and you just might find yourself the envy of all your buddies.... don't let them come visit on lady's night hoping to meet bi-girls! Girls night is girls night - no men.... you happen to be there working so you get the benefit of meeting some potential interesting girls!
Be most respectful - since the women who have issues with men might have good cause for disliking our gender!
2006-12-12 10:04:27 · answer #1 · answered by D. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's actually a rather insightful question. I feel the opposite around both Gay Men and Lesbians. I feel threatened by Hetero Men (I'm not kidding). As for the invisible line, for some Lesbians there is such a line and for others there isn't. As long as you're a respectful gentleman I think you should have no problem./ Just be kind to people. This is a good attitiude you have even being a bouncer. Good one, my son. Blessings.
2006-12-12 10:04:22 · answer #2 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know many gay women... most of the time they are okay... some of the time they are truly obnoxious... loud and boisterous - especially in a group situation. A Lesbian couple I know are the best... some others I just stay away from. Often I can tell these women have major issues... some of them from previous experiences with men... other times they are just not well mentally.
Read the line they are drawing in the sand... measure your distance... if you are greeted with a smile... give it a try to say hello... otherwise stay clear!
2006-12-12 10:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by guicoder 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fear of gay people is undoubtedly learned, but that specific fear stems from a general fear of the unknown which is a natural human trait. But regardless of whether it's learned or innate, every human being has the ability to adjust their thinking and get over their fears.
Treat gays and lesbians the way you would treat anybody else. You don't necessarily need to agree with their orientation or lifestyle, but if you show them respect and love like you would anybody else, than most gays and lesbians would likely return that respect and love.
At the end of the day, that's all that many of us gays and lesbians want. All we want is the same amount of love and respect that is shown to everybody else, regardless of whether or not you think our orientation is distasteful.
2006-12-12 10:05:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I mostly think it's a learned thing. Parents breeding and shoving hate down their kids throats, making them be religious, threatening to cast them out if they turn out gay, all that stuff.
I can understand your feelings around gay women since you're straight. Some gay women tend to be sexually overactive and assume almost any women that looks their way wants to get in on it. Trust me, I'm friends with a gay chick that talks about sex constantly.
2006-12-12 10:03:50 · answer #5 · answered by ☆Tąrą☆ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its the fear of knowing lesbians,as women, are not into you? But then again, I can understand. I went to a Melissa Etheridge concert once and felt so out of place. Felt as thought I was the enemy.
2006-12-12 09:56:53 · answer #6 · answered by phxguy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it could be that they show no interest in you and you think that most women should be attracted to men. But you knowing there lesbians, that bothers you and therefore puts you on edge knowing that most lesbians have nothing to do with guys
2006-12-12 09:56:35 · answer #7 · answered by jumpinjackdw 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Any bigotry is learned, not innate. Look at little children - they don't hate or fear anyone until they are taught to do so.
I'm glad you can overcome this aversion and be respectful.
2006-12-12 10:03:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
it´s learned, obviously. Nothing "natural" here
2006-12-12 10:06:00 · answer #9 · answered by Luisa H T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think its fear, I think its disgust, there IS a difference.
2006-12-12 13:55:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋