My hubby already gave me my Christmas present. Its a diamond necklace worth more than my car (at least $5,000). Is it wrong for me to be mad at him for buying it? Dont get me wrong, I love it. Its not what I expected from him at all but he said that it was all our Christmas budget. Is it wrong for me to be mad at him for that? Im afraid to wear it for fear of my babies pulling it off. And he said to wear it on occasion...we dont go anywhere! Its it wrong for me to wish he would've used the money for something more reasonable like paying off my tuition, or a new vehicle like he promised, or something I could really use everyday? Its so beautiful and Im terrified to wear it. He even made the comment that its not something that I would wear everyday. I feel so guilty thinking like this and I don't want to hurt his feelings. If its all our Christmas budget, I cant get him or anyone else a present. I don't feel like I deserve this gift. Am I so wrong to think this way?
2006-12-12 09:03:57 · 18 answers · asked by Koozie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We bought our kids presents a few months back, so thats not an issue and he showed me the receipt of the necklace so I can get insured, so yes its real and not CZs...We live in a decent sized town and I know the jeweler where he bought it, as does everyone here. So its not a cheap knockoff. Im just more conservative, was raised that way. Hes an impulsive buyer because he was raised with money and has always had it. He doesnt even use coupons because he says he pays full price because he earned it. So I know for a fact that the thing didnt cost $45!!
2006-12-12 09:19:15 · update #1
Hes never bought anything like this before so I didnt know what to expect and have never asked for jewelry.
2006-12-12 09:21:05 · update #2
Well, I agree that it was totally crazy for him to buy something like that even if it was all in love. I think the best approach to this would be to tell him that you love the necklace and really appreciate the thought behind the gift but that you wish to return it so that you both can use the money to better benefit everyone in the family. Which is the true meaning of Christmas and the true meaning of love and togetherness.That No one person when it comes to family is that much more important than any other to get and someone else not. These statements should work well.
good luck!
2006-12-12 09:19:53 · answer #1 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
2007 has been a very bad year financially. We were unable to purchase any gifts for anyone, including my children (ages 12, 16 & 17). Yet I have to say that I did receive the best gift in the world, and that is the love of my family, friends AND my children. Everyone has been so understanding! To be "fair" we tried to let everyone know that we would be unable to purchase gifts this year. Everyone was understanding, and perhaps the most amazing thing is that my children were more than understanding as well. We spent Christmas day together just talking, eating, playing games and having a great time. What better gift could someone ask for?
2016-05-23 15:42:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong of you to be upset with him. Such a large purchase should be made with both people's input. But were you clear beforehand that you don't want expensive jewelry as a gift? I am VERY clear with my husband about it; I told him straight out that if he ever gets an expensive piece of jewelry for me, I will make him take it back. He said that his parents keep trying to get him to buy jewelry for me - but I told him he better not.
However, had I not warned him about it specifically, he probably would have listened to his family. He doesn't really know what to get me for the holidays, and the stereotype holds that women like jewelry. I'm sure your husband had good intentions. But if it was my situation, I would gently talk to him about taking it back, and spending money more wisely. It's one thing if you have lots of cash, and can afford all of the things you need, then buy trinkets, and still have a bunch left - but it's a whole another story if buying this one item breaks the bank.
My ex-husband bought me a really expensive watch for X-mas once, at the time when we were totally broke. I simply made him take it back. It probably did hurt his feelings a bit - but at the time we simply could not afford to go into any more debt. I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking realistically.
2006-12-12 09:13:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all, I'm sure you deserve such a beautiful gift. I'm in agreement with you, though, call it practicality or just plain peace at heart. Having student loans looming, need of a new car, money for presents for others and probably a lot more, is more important to you than a diamond. When it comes down to it, it's beautiful, thoughtful, romantic....it's an expensive trinket. Tell him how you feel and ask him to exchange it for something you really want/need. He loves you, he'll understand...he just spent $5,000 on a trinket!
2006-12-12 09:16:31 · answer #4 · answered by leslie 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like he may be guilding you a cage! You are definately worth it, but it is an impracticle gift. Find out where he bought it and go to the jewler and ask for the salesperson who sold it to him and ask what he said about you while choosing the gift. You may just find out that he loves you so much that he really feels you deserve it. Either way you will know. And how cool would it be that you turn out to be queen of his country!
Then open a safe deposit box and store it until an occaision calls or your child grows up.
Then send out Christmas cards instead of gifts. Your friends and family love you regardless of the gifts you could buy.
2006-12-12 09:25:28 · answer #5 · answered by darrellkern 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Lily, You and your husband genuinely have a communication gap. Why can't you tell him how you feel? The necklace was a beautiful gesture of love, but I agree that it isn't practical.Tell him how much you love him and appreciate the lovely gesture, but you would much rather pay off your student loan than to go in debt for an extra $5,000 for something that will stay in the safe in the closet. It may wound his pride, but he will understand that what he did was not well thought out, and doesn't reflect who YOU are.
2006-12-12 09:15:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
That was kind of a dumb thing for him to do...If it were a ring you could wear everyday it would make sense, but you don't go many places and now you can't buy any other gifts for family and friends. If it had been something you really wanted, it would be different. I would be a little annoyed as that's a lot of money to spend without consulting with your spouse.
2006-12-12 09:15:51 · answer #7 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I can understand you being mad. Why don't you talk to him about it? If he spent all of your Christmas budget, does that mean the kids don't get anything? Why don't you suggest he take it back to the store and get it in a few years when you can actually afford it. Tell him that you appriciate his thoughtfullness, but it would be more fun for you to see the kids open something that they really wanted instead. Be gentle, he thinks he did a good thing.
2006-12-12 09:11:38 · answer #8 · answered by Jinny E 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First, you DESERVE it and a whole lot more. Are you wrong to feel the way you do? NO!! Feelings are just feelings. They don't help nor hurt and they don't do any damage, so go ahead and feel however you feel. Was it wise? Maybe not? If you need something about which to feel guilty, got ahead and feel guilty about this but it's a pretty useless feeling. Some way, somehow, one day, you'll feel awfully proud that he was willing to blow the whole durn budget on you though.
2006-12-12 09:14:11 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Make sure it is not a fake diamond necklace he got for $45 and lost the rest at the bar or track. I would be willing to bet that there is more to this story than is here. Sounds like a guy story covering up something bad he did.
2006-12-12 09:11:26 · answer #10 · answered by Brian 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋