how would u deal with a friend that has low self esteem?

Question

My friend has such low self asteem. She thinks she is huge but everyone else tells her she's not that big. I think when she looks in the mirror she see's herself as being this huge whale which she really is not. How can i convince her. She's about 5"10 and she's a size 22. I guess cause of her height all the weight is spread out so she dosnt look that big. what do u think, if a girl is almost 6' tall and a size 22 do u think thats: thick, fat, obese or big? To me she looks like queen latifa's size. Her face is so pretty thu and she always has her head down. Even her boyfriend trys to convice her but she just dosnt see it, how can we make her see what we see! I know she wishes she had better self esteem cause we'll see ppl bigger then her wearing tight clothes with everything hanging out and she'll even say "i wish i had there esteem to wear something like that"

Answer 1

well, you are really doing all you can do, you are telling her she looks nice,,,,,,, its going to be up to her to either see that, or else try to change her body ,,,,,,, it seems kinda an odd thing, when she sees bigger people she says "i wish i had their esteem to wear that? " , she doesnt say she wishes she was smaller,,,,,,,,she doesnt seem to be admiring smaller people and not larger ones,, so maybe its not the weight at all, its just her feelings about herself,,, the hard , cold approach, but it might work, is next time she puts herself down due to her size, tell her she needs to either do something about it (lose weight) or accept it,,,, and you think she is beautiful and should accept it,,,,,,, and not to put her down, but this may be a passive way of getting attention,,, if she puts herself down constantly , you and her boyfriend spend time building her up! and yes, that is still a deep core esteem problem,,,, because if she felt good about herself,, she wouldnt need that type of attention,,,,,

Answer 2

Well, first of all...let me say this....IGNORE SHAWNS RESPONSE....I had a very very very low self asteem as a teenager. Compliments usually didnt work for me...But as I grew older, I learned how to view myself in a better perspective. She doesnt seem overly huge...Shes almost 6 ft! Shes naturally going to be a lil heavier...Im 5'5" and 190 LBS, and i know im beautiful! Keep building her up with compliments...AND if people cant see her beauty, (including herself) They are blind! What if everyone was like brittney spears?! it would be the world of belly buttons!!! (or skanks! One of the two! lol) Anyway, you dont need to wear skin tight clothes to be beautiful....Wear what fits....In my opinion, if you wear super baggy clothes, youre gonna look a little bigger. I do! Wear something a LITTLE tighter. Just enough to show your natural curves....She might one day see herself as Beautiful! Sadly it took me a long time to realize that life is a 'popularity contest' that nobody wins! If she doesnt LOVE herself, help her make some progress to at least be comfortable with herself...Then the self asteem will come....However, if she doesnt want to feel pretty or beautiful, she wont.....Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! And if she doesnt believe in herself, she cant expect other to do it for her....It doesnt work like that.....I do have one question tho...How old is your friend?? Different ages will be harder or easier to 'persuade' about being beautiful....But keep trying...Thats what friends are for!

Answer 3

You could deal with this on the level of trying to convince her, which from my experience will not work in any permanent way. Self esteem in not related to one's looks, it's a much deeper issue.

Truthfully, i would pray for her. You don't need to tell her that's what you are doing, but do it and see what happens. If she begins to feel God's Love for her, the weight might just fall right off. i know that once i started to love myself, i can seriously eat whatever i want and it does not turn into a fat body.

Answer 4

First of all, your insane. Your friend is fat. Sorry to break the news to you. She knows she fat. The thing that is weird to me is. She knows she is fat. Just lose some weight. what is the big problem. She knows she can't wear those tight cloths. She knows she looks gross. Keep it real. All she has to do is lose weight. But i guess, either way she can still get a guy.

Answer 5

hey, believe me your friend is very lucky to have you as a friend cos you sound so caring. i wish she could realize that too.listen, as far as i have heard, it seems that you have tried to convince your friend so many times yet she has not believed you. but b4 i ans dis Q, i want you to take your time, be honest with yourself and ask yourself this Q; do you honestly think that she is not huge, can you look staight in to her eyes and tell her she isn't and are you always honest with her, ?? I'll assume you are, then what you have to do is take time to speak to her seriously but calmly okey. tell her that you honestly think she isn't that huge and that even if she is or would have been, you don't care cos she is your mate and you love her(that's if u do(try saying something nice but honest, something from your heart that will make her feel loved yet also make her realize that if she on her own can't accept herself then nobody will) something like that OK.hope this helps.