how do i get my fiance to forgive my cheating?

Question

about 2 months ago i cheated on my fiance and father of my 3 children when we were seperated. it was only one time with someone he dosen't know he only found out because i told him he was very abusive physically and mentally when we were together and i left to try and work things out but cheated when we were seperated he said he forgave me and me and the kids moved back in but now he is just as abusive and in front of the kids he says its because i cheatd but he says he is sorry and tells me he loves me and wants u to work it out what do i do???

Answer 1

you deserve what you get !! I say mo0ve on and start over you blew it and you had a good thing.

Answer 2

Do NOT go back to an abuser. Take your children somewhere safe and stay away from their father. He will eventually kill you for no reason at all. Ignore some of the answers above. These people didn't read your notice that he abused you before you left and before you "cheated" on him. He is using this as a reason to continue to batter and abuse you, but abusers don't need much excuse. You did nothing wrong. You are in the right to go find a safe place for you and your children. Call the cops if you have to. He isn't sorry. He is only sorry he gets caught.

Answer 3

Just the fact that he was and is abusive towards you should have you wanting to pack your bags and hightailing it out of there. For your sake and that of your children.

All these people that say that you deserve what you got...that's BS. No one deserves to be abused, physically or mentally, for any reason. This abuse started before you had ever cheated on him and it will only get worse. He will continuously use the excuse that you cheated on him, to make you feel guilty and hurt you. You don't need that and your kids don't need to see that.

He told you that he had forgiven you to have you come back. He'll play the innocent and then when you two are having difficulties in your relationship he'll remind you that you were the one that cheated and he'll play this to his advantage. He'll blame you for the separation and he'll blame you every time you two have problems.

He may tell you that he's sorry, that he loves you and that he wants things to work out, but how many times are you willing to put yourself through that? Your kids through that? It will never end. I've seen it happen and I've been there myself. It's a repetitive cycle. He'll blame you, be physically and emotionally abusive towards you, and then he'll apologize and tell you that he loves you so that you'll stay. Because he KNOWS that you'll stay.

There's no changing these kind of people unless they want to change. And why would he want to change? If he knows that you'll always come back, that you'll always forgive HIM, he'll keep treating you like he does.

You need to take the initiative and get out while you can. You need not concern yourself about how you can get him to forgive you. What's happened has happened. Either he forgives you or he doesn't. But you don't deserve to be abused because of what happened, or be reminded daily of something that may not have happened if he had treated you right to begin with. I think the best thing that you can do--for yourself and your children--is get out. If he's abusing you then what's not to say that he won't start in on your kids as well?

Don't let this cycle of abuse continue because he makes you feel that this is your fault. It will never end. Don't be another statistic of domestic violence. End this cycle now, before you place your life or one of your children's lifes in jeopardy. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 4

Er. Cheating or no cheating, abuse is abuse no matter what the reason. Get out. and Good luck.

Obviously some people haven't read the question all the way through. No one EVER deserves to be abused. Abuse is NEVER justifiable.

Also, it was my understanding that it wasn't cheating when the parties are legally separated.

Answer 5

There is nothing that you can can do, to get him to forgive you. If he is abusive it's time to move on. I know its easier said than done. You can only say your sorry so many times. You and your kids need to get away from him. You deserve someone that is loving not abusive. Your kids do not need to be exposed to any abuse.If he really loved you he wouldn't be abusive.

Answer 6

Uh, you need to leave this man. He is not going to change unless he wants to. He is only using your cheating as an excuse to hurt you and your children. For the sake of your children you need to leave this abusive relationship. No person needs to be treated like this. You may be scared to be on your own but what could be worse. You may wake up one day in the hospital or worse.

Answer 7

I don't condone cheating. But that is not your biggest problem. It is never a reason for abuse. Take your children and leave this man now. He may in court bring up the cheating but you will have to bring up the abuse. Be strong. This is not your fault.

Answer 8

My fiance cheated after we had been only dating a few weeks. It has gotten easier over time to forgive & forget but it does pop up in my mind from time to time. You are the one who screwed up so be prepared to make it up to him for a long while.

Answer 9

Why do you want him to forgive you? If you're being phsically and mentally abused its not about him, its about you and your 3 children. You and your children (ESPECIALLY) deserve better. Get away from him as quickly as you can!

Answer 10

You're worrying about how to get back with an abuser? Why, you hate yourself? Leave and never come back. You owe that to your children, believe me.

Answer 11

if yo cheated they is somthing worng and it is over once a cheater always a cheater. let him go where he can find some one that really loves him and would never hurt him like you have.. get out now so maybe you all can still be friends for the kids...