Is this cheating?

Question

ive been having cyber se*x for the past month.Swapping dirty pictures and videos.My husband works long hours and has lost his se*x drive and im really bored of him.I mean ive tried everything to get him interested and i cant be bothered anymore hes just being selfish.But its not actually cheating is it?

Answer 1

How many judgemental, tight-lipped hypocrites does it take to change a light bulb? None, because every single one of the twats is busy answering this question. Of course it's not bloody cheating: it's masturbation with technological assistance. If every woman who had enjoyed a deep and meaningful with the battery powered bush buzzer while in a relationship were to be branded a cheat, we'd run out of branding irons in a very short time. Same goes with men, though twanging the one-string banjo tends to be a simpler matter for us - a dirty video and a spare sock is all we need. Masturbation is just that - sexual partner is absent, drunk, asleep, uninterested, whatever, time for a five finger shuffle and nobody is any worse off. I find it amusing and not a little perturbing that so many people on this site think that the world is going to stop turning because NellyNoo had a flick of the bean. What a bunch of wanquers.

Answer 2

Asking the question shows that you have a guilty conscience. Yes it's cheating. And you call your husband selfish? If you "really can't be bothered anymore" then you should file for divorce. Or do you not want to have to work long hours to support yourself? How would you feel if your husband was getting off with some stranger instead of you? Maybe he knows your little secret and that's why he's lost interest.

Answer 3

Everyone has their own definitions of what is cheating but I guess because you're asking you feel some guilt there. Also, the fact I suspect your husband does not know what you're up to makes me think that because you're hiding it, you know he'd disapprove. For me, I'd certainly see it as cheating. That level of intimacy is one I'd reserve only for a partner, eg a boyfriend, fiance or husband. Also, the way I see it is, you feel neglected by your husband and so you crave attention, which is why you're behaving the way you are. You need to sit down with him and explain your feelings. Men can be insensitive sometimes so he could be completely unaware you are feeling this way. You need to work on your self esteem issues and you both need to work o your relationship. In the meantime, try treating yourself to some nice "toys" and enjoy them alone, or maybe even with your husband.

Answer 4

Whilst it may seem innocent enough because you're not actually being physical with this other person - you are still betraying your husband so Id consider it to be cheating yes.
Its not the worst form of it because as mentioned you;re not actually doing this in person - but showing another man your pictures and dirty videos is something you vowed to give up when you got married so I think it is betrayal to the man you married.
xx

Answer 5

Personally I don't see how it's cheating. You aren't falling in love, running off with someone, nor are you hurting anyone. Most people overreact because they feel that because you aren't doing it with them, your cheating. no, you still ove, live with and are married to your other half, you just need some more stimulation. But, in order to masterbate alot of people need some type of stimulation. Women can be very visual, and alot of ladies like to watch men masterbate. I need visual stimulation so I do the same thing. but I also use all my senses when making love, so the right stimulation with the right sense, will give me stimulation as well. Everyone is different. I like to watch any act that has to do with sex(except pain and gross stuff). I would actually LOVE to watch my partner masterbating to the computer. but hey that's just me.....

Answer 6

This is definetely cheating.

Short of actually being in the same bed with this guy your having cyber sex with, you could not get more physically intimate if you tried.

You say you have tried everything, but without wishing to state the obvious, have you tried talking to him about this? Have you suggested that maybe he could look for another job with shorter hours? Have you suggested joint counselling?

If you really loved your husband, I don't think you would betray him in this way.

Either try to fix your marriage or move on.

Answer 7

Personally,I think its a very grey area this whole cyber sex thing.I mean mentally your cheating which would suggest that given the opportunity you would physically cheat.If my husband/wife/boyfriend or whatever was engaging in this kind of thing I would be seriously cheesed off and would feel betrayed but other people feel that there is nothing wrong with it just as long as your not actually physically doing it.

Answer 8

Sad really! Your husband is working long hours to provide for his family and you are putting all your efforts into a fantasy world! Talk to him and set aside some time when you both can spend quality time together, at least once a week. Save your marriage and dump the cyber geek!

Answer 9

Yes. You're cheating emotionally, which some would say is worse than a physical one-night-stand. If you're bored with your husband, you should either find a way to patch it up, or get a divorce, because you're really doing him or yourself no favors by continuing in a loveless marriage.

Answer 10

I think you are cheating on your husband as you are having all sorts of thoughts and feelings for this other person. Fair enough if you've tried to make it 'exciting'. Do you want just a 'one night stand' type of affair or more? If it is the latter then you probably need to weigh up the pros and cons of living in a loveless marriage... Do what makes you happy :-)