I asked about my cheating husband a while back. ( he goes to my space and flirts with slutty women all the time, he is registered with about 10 online dating sites, he guards his cell phone with his life, he lies about it all) there's no talking to him; he denies everything. He still acts like everything is ok .I've confronted him about some stuff but like I said he just lies I know for a fact that he is doing all of this stuff and I can't hardly stand to look at him knowing what I know but its like my heart says leave the a**hole but my feet won't move He doesn't know that i know about everything and he acts like he loves me so much (yeah right) so what is my problem. I've lost all trust in him and most of the respect i had for him so ...HELP!!
2006-12-12 07:59:35 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In all honesty l think once you get to the point where you are at now, there is no hope of going back !! Once your heart is telling you to leave, that's it. You just put one foot in front of the other and walk !! He obviously has no respect for you or himself for that matter or he would not be doing all those things. You could try telling him everything you know and see what he says but if you have no trust or respect for him, l would say it's time to go !! Then again if he agreed to change his ways and get help for his addictions because he is obviously addicted to these things there may be hope. You would have a very long painful road ahead of you though and he would have a lot of work to do to right so many wrongs. Are you up to that ?? If not you know what you must do, why stay in such a bad relationship one day more. You must move on !! Best of luck whatever you decide !!!
2006-12-12 16:20:25 · answer #1 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in his shoes. I'm not sticking up for him because I nearly lost everything I had because of it.
Log onto some of the sights and create a name and profile that he wont recogize you by. why not even plajurize someone's picture that is someone that looks a little like you but isnt you.
Since you know him best over any of the other women online you can win him over again just like you did in high school or where ever to took his heart.
It sounds like it could be fun... dating again without him knowing it. When the time comes that he opens up with a fantasy dont get mad. make it happen just the way he wants it.
you have to be really carefull because you won't be able to chat while the both of you are home and he is allways on the watch for you to find out. buy a trak phone from walmart and keep that a secret. that way you can text him when he's not home and he will think he's getting over on you. DONT LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND KNOW EITHER.
Gurl you gotta remember. he's a man. it's gonna take him a while to realize that the girl he is flirting with on the internet is actually his wife. When he does find out we can all hope that it will make him happy.
2006-12-12 16:14:50 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going on online dating services is not cheating. But hiding his phone...that's a problem. If he can't respect you and say, "honey, i'm sorry that you feel that way about the online dating services, I'll stop completely". Then Yes, you need to leave him and not look back. oh yeah, and let him know that you know everything. I don't understand why women snoop and keep it to themselves. Me being a woman myself, If i feel like something is going on, I ask, if it's being denied, I snoop. If you see something when you snoop, you confront your man. It's about your feelings, f*ck his feelings. You have to do what you have to do for yourself. So Good Luck. Keep your head up. It's going to be very hard to leave him, but you can do it. Woman are married to men for 10, 20 years and they are able to leave, so what makes you different. You can do it too!
2006-12-12 16:54:15 · answer #3 · answered by P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been where you are and No, you dont know what to do in this situation, But what does not kill us makes us stronger for the next relationship we are in. You are secure with him and yet you think you cant do any better than that, In this world there are so many things that can go wrong and dont feel in any way that this is your fault, for something is going on in his head, wheather it be the need for attention, or just his need for adventure in the relationship. If he acts like he loves you then possible nomnate him for an ocsar for he really doesnt if he thinks the grass is greenier on the otherside then let him go to the other side and find out that **** is burned up. You as a female dont have to put up with this, if you want to leave, then do so, if you want to stay then do ,, but either way you need to talk to him and find out what is wrong in the relationship, why if he loves you does he feel the need to stray to other females for the excitement that he should be having with you if that is what you want to do if not, Walk out and dont look back
2006-12-12 16:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by Marina G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well U dont wanna leave because ur scared.U got to get ur stuff and go . Do it when he isnt there so there isnt any reason to stay and argue. BE SURE ABOUT EVERYTHING BEFORE U LEAVE.. If ur sure. U can find someone better just remeber u r better and deserve better, life than that and there will be better men out there that will treat u better. He will see what he had when its gone.
2006-12-12 16:16:13 · answer #5 · answered by jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sigh....Well its obvious that ur not very happy ryt now and maybe it is best to leave him. Your feet and ur heart wont always agree..but in a situation like this u hav to be strong and follow what ur heart says. There is no use in makin urself miserbale cuz in the long run neither of u will be happy.Think about it. There is better out there.
2006-12-12 16:05:37 · answer #6 · answered by Care_Bear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel trapped? Do you have kids to worry about? Do you have a job to support yourself? Those could be some of the reasons that you don't leave. You are heart broken and it hurts and we all want them to change. No trust, no respect, no marriage. Start planning for your exodus. Good luck!
2006-12-12 16:03:01 · answer #7 · answered by MiMi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He definitely does not sound trustworthy. He does not care about how you feel. He will probably continue to lie to you and cheat on you. You need to take the steps to change your life. Don't let him ruin your life! Life is too short to always have to worry about what your significant other is doing behind your back. He will destroy you if you stay with him too long. I know women who have suffered from depression because they stayed with men like you described. You deserve better... find someone who will truly love you...
2006-12-12 16:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by Soul saviour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand up for yourself! If you keep letting him get away with this he will keep doing it. Tell him you love him but your not gonna put up with it anymore. You know hes lying. Do you really want to live your life like this?? You have to make the choice here.
He is NOT gonna stop unless you put a end to it. If he really loves you he Will stop the behavior. It is gonna take you to say enough is enough!! NOW its upto you what are you gonna do about it?
2006-12-12 16:08:26 · answer #9 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the problem is your in love with the man you thought he was. your in love with the dreams and plans you had for your life with him. but, he is not that man. he has proved it. you are no longer in love with him. if your unable to leave him at this time due to financial reasons etc... start taking care of yourself. worry about yourself not him. pamper yourself. begin treating yourself with the respect and love that he should of. prepare for a future without him. a better life with you as the star of it.
2006-12-12 16:19:55 · answer #10 · answered by trooper (canine bad citizen) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋