I caught my husband talkig with another girl on the phone 2 nights ago. It all started when my husband and I were watching a movie and since I had to work the following day and he didn't I went to sleep. I hear him talking to one of his guy friends on the phone so I didn't pay to much attention to that. 2 hours later I wake up and I don't see my husband laying down next to me. I get up and I go to the living room where he's whispering on the phone. I asked him who are you talking to and he said Erica. The argument started from their he told me that he just wanted to know weather she was still dead or alive. I got so mad vey mad he got in my face and started to scream and cuss. I started to cry and he covered my mouth with his hands. I kept cry so then he covered my mouth with his hands but this time he got his knees and placed it under my chin and was pushing it back. I was in alot of pain I couldn't breath. Until now my whole jaw hurts and all of this becuase I caught him. What to do?
2006-12-12 07:58:00 · 33 answers · asked by mysteryousmtz 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank u all of all of your answers. My problem is that I will feel lost without him. He was my first and I am very attached to him. That is why I haven't left him.
2006-12-12 08:16:36 · update #1
He is getting deployed on March to Iraq.
2006-12-12 08:42:27 · update #2
Listen to me. You think that the problem was that you caught him talking with another woman. That is just one problem. The big problem is that he is abusive with you. Someone who abuses you DOES NOT LOVE YOU. That would further explain his philandering. Abuse is a progressive disease, i bet it started out as a little push, or something else as innocuous. He got away with it. Now it has progressed to a point of holding you down viciously. Who knows what the next progression will be? You think you will be lost with out him. I am here to tell you that you are lost with him. Unless he is willing to go through some seroius counseling he is not worth your love, and understanding. Otherwise, get away from him and don't look back. I know you don't want to begin a new life. I know you have deep feelings about him. But, if you stay you may not have a life, or any feelings left. If you have children think about how his abusing their mother will affect them. Please, get help, or get out of this while you can still walk away, and have a much happier life for you and your children. Don't say you can't, what you can't do is stay with a man who cheats, and lies, and hurts you. I bet you have not told your family about this , and you have covered for him. I bet you rationalize all the things he has done to you because you have felt somehow that this is your fault. BULL! The emotional and physical scarring you will receive will bare me out.
2006-12-12 08:49:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the police, file a report and get the hell out of the house. I am sure he has apologized or will shortly. He will cry and tell you it will never happen again. He will swear he loves you and doesn't know what came over him. You will want to believe him because you love him. Every ounce of you will want to give him another chance. I can tell you, although he may be truly sorry, it will happen again and again. Each time may be a little worse. He will eventually hurt you severely. By then you may be too tired and beat down to get out. Run now while you have a chance. If he reacted this way for a little issue think what his reaction will be when there is a big problem.
2006-12-12 08:10:30 · answer #2 · answered by T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you both are calmed you two need to seriously talk. Remeind him that putting his hands on you is not ok and will not be tolorated. I imagine this wasn't the first time he's been physical. If you need to call athorities, do so. Don't let your emotions speak for you. Be strong and do as you say. He will apologize to you and swear that he didn't mean to do it and that he is innocent or put the blame on you. If He's cheating, or going to start, you need to seperate from him. I'm not saying divorce, of which you have grounds for if you deeply want to. But if not move out or let him move out. Remember this will not be a free pass for you to do your own thing. But buys you time to think clearly. I've been there back and forth many times. There was nothing that I said or did that made him change. It was until that day he gave his life to Christ. It took many years of prayer and many days of hurt and pain. I know that everyday my husband feels bad about what he has done. But I have no regrets, I stood faithful and that's something no one could ever take away from me.
2006-12-12 08:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by i serve HIM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE THE IDIOT. He obviously has problems and you have your own, life is hard enough as it is, who needs a psycho to take care of? Some people are beyond help and even though you probably love him, he's not worth it. Anyone that puts thier hands on you is absolute scum so kick him to the curb and don't look back.
P.S. go get your hair done, do something new with it, it'll cheer you up if only for a little bit...smile your about to make an awesome decision for yourself!!!
2006-12-12 08:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he is willing to go that far and hurt you, the answer is simple you need to get out while you still have breath in you, once he lay-ed his hands on you he broke all the rules, no women should be hit on or threaten, and if he admitted he was talking to another women what else is he doing, are you willing to take the chance something else will happen, he needs help, bless your heart girl get out it is not worth the pain or heartache, think long and hard on this one, think of it this way if it was you baby girl a man was doing this to what would you tell her to do?????
2006-12-12 08:07:42 · answer #5 · answered by killips1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your husband got caught, he is the type of guy that gives other guys a bad rap. i would say he is sleeping with this girl that is why he got so mad. you busted his punk *** and he got scared and did not know what to do. i would ask him why did he have to whisper and why does he care if this girl is dead or alive? i would kick him in the nuts and leave, you don't need a violent guy in your life. hope you let me know how this turns out
2006-12-12 08:05:54 · answer #6 · answered by bone 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First thing you should do is change all the bank accounts into your name only...then leave...don't listen to that one dude who said you are a control freak..he doesn't know what he is talking about.....you are his wife you have a right to know who he is speaking to...but that last thing on your mind should be who he was speaking to....sence he put you in pain and didn't do anything about it....that kind of jackass doesn't deserve a girl like you....so i vote you should leave
2006-12-12 08:06:18 · answer #7 · answered by mustangplayer14 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you might read all these answers and say...."well, they dont know me and my husband so they cant tell me to leave...he is different sometimes and this was the first time..."
Be smart!!!! These people including myself are not going out of our ways to tell you to leave him for nothing!! Dont wait until it gets worse, you can do better....if you dont have any kids it will be that much easyer to leave him NOW!
2006-12-12 08:10:54 · answer #8 · answered by sublimeguy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him trust me. I know what abusive relationships are all about and this guy shows all the warning signs for an abuser. Get rid of him and run the other way! Trust me, I know first hand!
2006-12-12 08:03:48 · answer #9 · answered by His Angel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This can't be the only time something suspicious has happened. If things like this have happened before, you must consider 2 things. Counseling or divorce.
2006-12-12 08:10:01 · answer #10 · answered by B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋