I have three days off but my fiance doesn't, and he is spending his free time after work fixing his friend's kitchen. He doesn't HAVE to do this. Should it bother me that he isn't spending time with me on my days off after he comes home from work or not?
2006-12-12 07:45:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You would think he would want to spend time with you. It also should make you wonder, if he's not spending alot of time with you now,how's he going to be after you're married? Just something to think about. In the meantime, talk to him about it. Communication is one of the most important elements in a good relationship. If he doesn't give you a decent reason, you may want to reconsider your wedding plans.
2006-12-12 07:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guy sounds like a good friend. It's probably a trait that you will want him to pass on to your children...being helpful to others. I think you should be proud of him. On the other hand, he needs to learn to balance things. If you have three days off, he should manage to spend some of that time with you. Work two days on the kitchen, spend one evening with you. He can finish the kitchen when you go back to work. Marriage is all about compromise and communication. Talk to him and get him to see that he needs to compromise a little and then tell him you are proud he's helping his friend.
2006-12-12 15:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes l suppose it would bother me a little as l would want to share my time with him but the fact that he was helping out a friend would please me too !! The fixing of the kitchen will not take forever and you will have plenty of time to spend together once it's finished. Think about it, if you needed something fixed wouldn't you want his mate to do the same for you guys !!
2006-12-12 16:00:52 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a question for you. Did you let him know you would like to see him part of that time, or are you expecting him to read your mind about that?
If you did tell him you'd like to spend some time with him during those days... then there really isn't a question, is there? He's responding to you by choosing to help his friend.
Make your needs (not your wants, your needs) clear to him, and see what he does with it. It's not a matter of there being set rules about this type of thing... so there's no "should" about it.
Good luck!
2006-12-12 15:52:07 · answer #4 · answered by Amy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's o.k. to want some time with him but not fair to expect all of his free time. He wants to help his friend out right now - it's temporary and not a bad thing. Just relax and try spending time with your own friends on your days off.
2006-12-12 16:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did your fiance' make plans prior to your days off to help his friend? And did you let him know that you would like to spend time with him on your days off? As much as we would love it, unfortunately, men are not mind readers. If that is the case then, I wouldn't let it bother me. If this is bothering you this much, then it would be best if you address this with your fiance'. Remember that COMMUNICATION is key. Good Luck ;o))!!
2006-12-12 15:52:13 · answer #6 · answered by China Doll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would expect that my fiance would want to spend that free time with me. If he would rather be fixing kitchens you have a problem. Is this a female friend's kitchen by any chance?
2006-12-12 15:49:01 · answer #7 · answered by orionsgirl76 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
NO, you don't want to smother him do you , I believe it is up to the person on their days off where they spend their time. You are his fiance now but if you keep up this nagging telling him what he should with his on time , you may not be engaged very long.
2006-12-12 15:56:35 · answer #8 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs his own life and he needs to remain a good friend. However, if this is bothering you now perhaps you should take a pause and look at the entire relationship and be sure this is really what you want.
2006-12-12 15:51:58 · answer #9 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. People need their own time and space Did you tell him that you want to spend some time with him or did you let him guess?
Men are simple creatures. Tell them what you want. Set simple boundaries. Don't expect them to read your mind.
Suggestion: Make a date with him.
2006-12-12 15:55:38 · answer #10 · answered by Gabha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋