I lost my baby :(?

Question

I went to the doctors on friday and they couldn't find a heart beat. I was worried but didn't really think anything of it. So on saturday I started spotting, my doctor said that it was normal. On monday I woke up at 6am and I was bleeding really bad. My husband took me to the ER and we were there for 5 hours. They couldn't find the baby on the ultrasound, my HCG count was high, but no baby.
Today I went to my doctors for a follow up and they said that I had lost the baby or that I had a blighted ovum, which means no baby formed. We are going to try for a baby again, in a couple months, but for now I am lost, I have all of these maternity cloths and baby books and I feel like I faked my pregnancy, because I wasn't after all. I really just want to know if anyone else has gone through this, or a miscarriage. Let me know how you coped with it. Thanks for your caring words last time, they really helped.

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my baby on july 14th of this year. I was 12 weeks but the Dr found no heartbeat and said that I was only about 6 weeks pregnant when the baby had died. That week I started hemmoraging and I went to the hospital. It was the worst pain that I have ever had, both emotionally and physically. Everyone continues to look at me like I am some kind of a freak, no one I know has ever had a miscarriage before and now that I am pregnant again, it seems like no one wants to believe I am going to make it. Last week I found out that I need to have surgery for an ovarian cyst in this pregnancy and I may lose this one too. I want you to know that you are not alone, but it wont go away. This will stay with you for as long as I have lived it. I wish I could wash it all away, be a "normal" person that have "normal" pregnancies, but it just didnt work that way. They say what doesnt kill you will make you stronger but it feels like what doesnt kill you, might still cripple you. I am so sorry for you and your sweet angel and I know exactly how you feel. I know how it feels to feel you were just pretending to be pregnant. When everyone gives you those pathetic looks and is thankful that they arent you. When you feel like their is something wrong with you. This is the only comfort that I know how to give you, you are not alone. I understand. I really understand.

Answer 2

Sorry for your loss... You'll get through it. Before I had my 2 miracle sons I had 4 (yes thats right four) miscarriages by the 2nd miscarriage I learned to keep my pregnancy news to myself (I would at least tell my mom or husband) hoping I would get to the 1st trimester. The 5th pregnancy I kept all to myself, I didin't even tell my husband or mom because you start to think that people are walking on eggshells for you and that your some sad, freak lady who can't have kids. So when I finally got through my 1st trimester as difficult as it was to not tell anyone close to me, I made it! As my doctors would say it was a miracle pregnancy because no one could tell me why I wasn't holding in my baby. The Dr would just tell me this was my bodies way of rejecting something abnormal.

At any rate I just found out I am pregnant with our 3rd child and I haven't told a soul yet. I have 2 sons about to be 5 and 6 yrs so I thought we were done until this little surprise, maybe its the little girl this time. I'm not gonna tell anyone (not even my hubby) until the 1st trimester is over. Even though your hurting from your loss believe me the Lord knows what he doing with your life and maybe this just was the right time or maybe your baby had a defect. I've been there and I've heard it all don't beat yourself up about it. It occurs more often than we know it does.

Answer 3

I had a blighted ovum in July (second pregnancy, we also have a daughter at home). It had just told everyone, and then two days later lost the baby. You did not fake your pregnancy... you really were. My doctor told me that over 50% of all fertilized eggs end in miscarriage and that a blighted ovum is just a bad roll of the genetic dice. I cried for days and got really angry, but then I realized it was better to have lost the baby than to have had one with serious birth defects. Also, I spoke to other women, and almost everyone I spoke with has had one (my doctor said 80% of women will have one in their lives, most never know they were pregnant as they weren't trying to get pregnant). We waited the month and got pregnant again soon after (i'm 12 weeks now). I know it feels like the end of the world, but it will get better and you will heal. Put away the maternity things, but don't throw them away as you will need them some day. Good luck. Let your emotions do what they need to. allow yourself to grieve. You will eventually hit the acceptance stage and be ready to begin again. Don'r rush it and don't apologize to anyone. It will be OK. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Answer 4

I'm terribly sorry for your loss.

My sis-in-law lost her 2nd child when she was almost 6 months along. She went through all the same emotions that you are going through, but I assure you, it wasn't your fault and you didn't "fake" your pregnancy. When my sis lost her son, they had to induce her. When he was born, the doctors said that he only had a 1% chance of living. She held him in her arms and he was breathing for about an hour or two and finally stopped. She lost her baby due to losing too many white blood cells, which caused an infection. The whole family got a chance to hold him. We had a funeral service for him soon after. Losing a pregnancy or a child anyway is a difficult thing for anyone. Needless to say, she got pregnant about 7 months later and had a healthy baby boy.

Please don't let this pregnancy discourage you from having any more children. You will be blessed with a beautiful child soon enough!

Take care!!!

Answer 5

my baby died in the fifth month and I was in shock. I cried I blamed everyone including my self but in the end I had to accept that the baby wasn't meant to be born. You must accept that every thing happens for a reason. You did not fake a pregnancy you were very much pregnant whether there was or wasn't a baby in the womb. I don't know how to to really help you because I think when this happens we all have to find th skills we need to deal with it our way. I chose to have another baby right away and he was born healthy and happy but then the next one was still born so again I went through all the steps of blaming every one including my self. I now have 5 happy healthy children and I know I didn't do anything to cause the loss of the other two. Someday when you have other children you too will realize that there really was a reason for you to get pregnant and have no baby. Good luck with your future children. And God Bless You

Answer 6

I have gone through it and I felt the exact same way that you did. I was early along in my pregnancy...but I still felt so unbelievably sad. I left work one day, about a day after the fact and just went home and cried and didn't speak and lay there like a vegetable. I wanted to blame something and somebody! I was mad too! I wanted to know why my body couldn't carry another baby! I sobbed to my husband, who tried to sympathize and tell me we would try again....but I didn't want to hear it at that moment. I said I would never, never do this again because I didn't want to go through the loss again. I have a 4 year old and that was our first attempt at having baby # 2.
But.....we tried again....and now I am almost 4 months along.
so....please, please don't lose faith in yourself. Your day will come! And Please take comfort in the fact that others have been there and it is a tough grieving process that you go through..no matter what the individual circumstances are behind your loss.
I know I wasn't that far along when I lost mine....and I told myself that it wasn't a "real" pregnancy.....but I had let myself get excited about it, although I knew it was too early to do so. But you can't help it! The prospect of a baby is exciting!
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.....I will say a prayer for you....

Answer 7

I'm so sorry in your loss. My fine pal had a identical difficulty. She misplaced three toddlers, had her daughter, after which final 12 months she received pregnant once more however misplaced that little one in her sixth month of being pregnant. The medical professionals have run TONS of assessments however are not able to supply her an reply which makes her very hesitant to get pregnant once more. She used to be in shambles for the primary 6 months or so however is slowly coming round. Try to cognizance on how fortunate you're to have your daughters however even as supply your self time to heal. I'm definite the anniversary will regularly be rough because it might be with any mom that has misplaced a youngster. Be robust in your kids however supply your self a holiday too! I desire you all of the success and force on the earth!

Answer 8

I am sorry for your loss! I couldn't imagine what you are going through right now... but it is good that you are not giving up hope and are going to try again!
You didn't "fake" your pregnancy, this isn't your fault, don't blame yourself!!!!
Go out for a couple hours and have your husband put your maternity clothes and books into a box and put them away... then you won't have too. I know if I had to do that I would cry the entire time :)

You will be okay.....

Good luck!

Answer 9

Hi, i lost my baby boy last thursday. i started bleeding very heavily the week before but doctors discovered the baby was fine and i had two scans confirming this with a steady heartbeat. was told i needed bedrest and no stress and everything should be fine. i continued to bleed but in the early hours of thursday morning i went into labour. while waiting for the doctor to see me in hospital my waters broke and i eventually gave birth to a little boy i called Jacob. i thought my heart would break because myself and my partner really wanted this baby. like yourself we are going to try again after 3 cycles (recommended by doctors). i still cant understand how he was fine for the 8 days during bleeding but then died. i keep thinking maybe if i had done something more my baby would be alive now, but realistically i know thats not true.
i went back to work on saturday the day after i got out of hospital. i feel stronger for going back but collegues keep saying sorry and hugging me, which seems to counteract everything im doing. im still crying a lot but i know i have to deal with this or it will consume me. my partner and i are going for tests tomorrow to check for abnormalities. we get to bury jacob next month.
the clothes can be used again. box the clothes and books and put them in a spare room.
try to focus on getting your strength back and look forward to making a life for your new baby in the future.
good luckand best wishes.

Answer 10

i know exacly how you feel, i found out i was preg. july the 5. girl i called everyone, that night, i was so excited, everything was awsome i was so happy, then i was feeling kindof crampy, i thought it was just bc i was maybe just stressed over some other stuff. well, a week later i was bleeding and they told me to come in for a ultrasound. they said that there was no heartbeat. the baby never got over 6 weeks, i was so upset, they had scheduled a DNC for me the next morning, i had to drive home by self, i did not want to call my husband, i was so upset, i cryed and cryed, my husband called me to check up on me, and i could not bring my self to tell him, i just cryed on the phone, girl, he was so excited when he found out i was preg. that next day it was over quick, my husband went w/ me, he was very supported, he cryed with me... it took me awile to tell ppl that i had lost the baby, i would see ppl in the store and they would say, " how are you and the baby doing?" i hated it, but i just had to keep a strong face and not cry and tell them quickly. and walk away fast.
well mounths went by it was hard everymounth went by when i would get my period, but there is good news...
i am now 12 weeks preg. the doctor has given me two ultrasounds so far, and girl, the baby is healthy and moven around. has a good heart beat. what i am tryen to get at here, is given it some time, pray to the LORD everyday, and rem. he knowes what is best, put all your faithe in him, and rem. we all do understand what you are going threw, we dont want to hear it when it happens to us, but i promise it will get better. i wish you all the luck. i will say a special prayer for you.
please dont give up, please dont put yourself to down, i know you are hurting, i know you feel like it want get better and you are imbarresed, but just keep your head rased high, and it does help to go rent some chick flicks, that will make you cry, and cry, go ahead and get it out of your system. and keep the maternity close. you will need them soon. rem. pray and have faithe.