I got with Brad when my son was about 5 months old and now my son is six years old. My son has only known Brad as his father since his real one passed away before he was born. Brad and I also had our own child together and she is 4 years old. Even after we broke up he still accepted Michael as his own until he started dating a new girl. Now he wants nothing to do with Michael and Michael loves him very much. What should I do? Also he keeps saying he's going to take our daughter for Christmas and I don't wanna separate the kids for the holidays. Please if and one has any suggestings on what I should do please tell me. Thank you
2006-12-12 07:26:56 · 7 answers · asked by Jennifer 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not asking for any type of money from Brad to help support Michael. Brad know's I don't want money for michael and that I would never ask for any. I have even offered to give him a little extra money for when you does take the kids. I'm just afraid he's going to hurt my little boy's feelings.
2006-12-12 07:38:25 · update #1
I think you need to have a serious talk with him. of course he is not financially responsible for Michael, but he should not cut him off emotionally. Tell him that he needs to spend time with Michael as if he were his son. let him know that he is not doing this for you, but is doing this for Michael. Michael is too young and doesn't understand what is happening and may begin to think that he did something wrong or this is his fault. So a serious talk with Brad is necessary!!!! And if the problem is because of the new girlfriend, she will just have to understand and get over it. I know that that is easier said than done since he is dating her, not you. So maybe it would help if you spoke with her too. Again, i know that is easier said than done, but for Michael's sake, it has to be done!! Parenting isn't easy!! And if Brad is a good guy and a good father, than the problem should get resolved!!!
2006-12-12 07:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by flowergirlsdy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I'm sorry that you are in this situation.
The problem may be Child Support. If Brad has acted as his father for the last 6 years, depending on the state you live in, he could be held accountable for child support. This may be the way he is avoiding that problem.
If you really want Brad to see both children, you'll have to give him assurances, in writing, that you are not going to hold him legally liable for child support.
You may also want to talk with him about why he feels that he does not want to see Michael. Just listen, don't use the opportunity to bash him or beg him. He may be willing to explain his reason, such as not wanting to hurt Michael or himself more.
2006-12-12 15:33:52 · answer #2 · answered by Gabha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is TOTAL BS............I can't believe he would do that knowing what he is doing to your little boy. Especially at 6.
He possibly could be pressured and manipulated by his new girlfriend. Not sure, but a possibility.
Nothing you can do except talk to him about it and let him know that it is hurting your son's feelings. If that is the way he wants it, nothing you can do. If nothing gives, try your best to keep your son away from him and maybe it won't be so painful for him when he picks up the little girl. Good Luck
2006-12-12 15:41:12 · answer #3 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter that he is not the biological father...he IS still this child's father.
Have you actually asked this man why he is doing this? I suggest you discuss this with him, preferably in person. Make him realize just how much he means to your child. Emphasize the fact that this child sees him as his father and that he needs to continue to be a part of his life.
2006-12-12 15:38:47 · answer #4 · answered by Wendy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
legally, there is nothing you can do to make him responsible emtionally for your son. he does have rights to see his daughter and technically having his daughter every other xmas is usually the standard visitation. at some point the children are going to be separated. it sucks, i know. but you can't force him to take your son as well.
my mother did this with me and my stepdad. i didn't like it. she wouldn't let him take his daughter anywhere unless i went as well. (which only made matters worse)
it will be hard. but at some point your son will have to adjust to the separation. make this a special mommy and son day. don't celebrate xmas until your daughter comes back.
2006-12-12 15:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is messed up for doing something like that,never mess with a kid like that. I would kick the crap out of him.
2006-12-12 15:32:40 · answer #6 · answered by Shocker3:16 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what happens when you have babies and are not married. Your boyfriend had no business "adopting" a child when he was not committed to you.
Now you have two babies with two different exes and are not married. Way to go.
Can I interest you in a birth control class?
2006-12-12 16:10:25 · answer #7 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋