i cheated on my fiance about two months ago when we were seperated he took me back and said he forgave me but now that i have moved back in he has been treating me really bad tells me he wants me to move out but two mins later says he loves me and wants me to stay so we can work it out what do i do?
2006-12-12 07:07:50 · 40 answers · asked by angela C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
FOR EVERY ACTION THERE IS A REACTION.
He is hurt & confused and will never forget about it.
But time has a wonderful way of healing.
Do you feel you will ever do it again?
if the answer is yes! Get out now.
It will be the most humane thing for both of you.
If the answer is no!
Assure him it will never happen again and that the only reason it happened in the first place was because you thought it was over and there was no chance of getting back together.
If he really loves you and I think he does.This should keep him from leaving you ever again.
2006-12-12 07:41:05 · answer #1 · answered by Dave Yours Truly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll never forget about it, it will always be in the back of his mind. Everytime your late or not home when you say you will be that is the thought that will cross his mind. Its hard to forgive someone who cheated regardless if you were separated during a trial period or not. Some people look at it as "if you loved me the way you did how could you have done it". If he's told you he's forgiven you but keeps bringing it up I'm willing to bet 10 yrs from now during an argument it will come up then too.
2006-12-12 07:13:20 · answer #2 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can never forget the cheating. Time will heal that. Work it out the best you can, possibly with professional help. But, on the other hand, if he keeps throwing it back up in your face everytime you guys argue, then it would be best to move on. He will always have that trump card to fall back on. And you will never have anything up your sleve to equal that. Life is too short and precious to put yourself through mental tormoil like this. If he can never really get over the mistake you made, then i will say move on.
2006-12-12 07:14:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want him to forget? Why did you cheat? If you really loved him, I don't think you would have. I'm in your fiance's position right now. I don't trust my husband at all, knowing that he cheated on me. Why should I believe he wouldn't do it again? Words don't mean anything, actions and behavior do. It will take a lot of time, a lot of begging, and a lot of you showing how much you love him EVERY DAY before he might start to trust you again, if he ever does. Good luck with that.
2006-12-12 07:11:55 · answer #4 · answered by Sara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your boyfriend sounds like he is really hurt and does'nt know what he wants. He probably really does love you and that is why it is so hard for him to get over it. When someone gets hurt like that sometimes they think in the back of there mind "do they really want to be with that person?" or " do they ever think of them?" or "were they better then me?" Silly things like that. Our brains work wierd sometimes.
My boyfriend did the similar thing to me that you did to your boyfriend...that was 6 years ago (2 kids later) and we have overcome it but it took alot of time, alot of fighting, and alot of late night discussions but we got through it and we live a very happy life together and we are still very much in love to this day. I know to you it seems like forever ago that it happened but to your boyfriend the pain is still very fresh, so if you are really sorry, you will take the good with the bad, and stick it out!
I know you don't need to hear this but you are the reason he is hurting so he is probably resenting you a little and having alot mixed emotions toward you. Just leave the ball in his court and try to be understanding towards the way he is feeling!
2006-12-12 07:24:18 · answer #5 · answered by CHERYL H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im going through a similiar situation, im having the same problem as your fiance. Its really hard to get over betrayal of your spouse. I bet he is trying really hard to forgive you, but that doesnt mean he isnt hurt still. I love my fiance with all my heart, but he has hurt me really bad, and thats something i never thought he would do. Spend sometime apart from each other, so things can cool off. I think thats what i need too. Dont give up, just realize its not something thats going to be easy!
2006-12-12 07:14:03 · answer #6 · answered by Jackeeeee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not going to forget. It's possible the reason he is being so "wishy washy" with you is because he's confused, and hurt.
So make it up to him somehow. Actions speak louder than words. Or take him out to dinner and talk things over.
If he's being a total jerk though, leave him. I don't know how long it's been since you cheated but if he still pesters you about it after a long time and is causing you more stress, then leave, it'll be for the better!
2006-12-12 07:12:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything about it. He'll never forget about you cheating on him. He might say he forgives you, but in his heart of hearts, he does not. He will bring it up in arguments and could end up cheating on you, simply to get you back. It could be years later, but he's definately thinking about it.
My wife cheated on me in 2004, I found out about it. The guy quit talking to her because she lied to him about being married. She talked me into not divorcing her then and promised nothing like that would ever happen again.
I found out about another affair in April of this year that lasted for atleast 3 months, Jan, Feb, and March of 2006 and I filled for divorce in April the day after I found out.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Cheaters have no self control. If given an opportunity to do it again, he would. Just as my wife did, as soon as I gave her a little rope and said (sure you can go out with your girlfriends, if that's what makes you happy). That's how it will start. He'll want to go out with his guy friends and one thing will lead to the next, he'll meet someone that makes him feel good about himself and BAM, in the sack again!
2006-12-12 07:18:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have thought of this before you cheated on him. He obviously hasn't forgiven you or forgotten. Being cheated on is one of the hardest things to forgive or forget as you have let him down big time. You have taken away the trust he had for you and it may never be fixed. It may take him some time, but chances are slim.
2006-12-12 07:12:11 · answer #9 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with he can forgive but can't forget; when theres a major break in trust like that it destroys the relationship and even if you do move past it; it will always be in the back of his mind and generally drive him crazy; even if you don't see it... he will constantly have and internal battle over whether or not he can trust you not to make that same mistake again when you're out shopping, hangen out with the girls.... etc. it's best to follow your heart; you did him wrong, you've admitted it and apologized and kudos to you for doing so; but it may not "save" your relationship and things may never be the same; you can accept that or call it quits and find what you're really looking for. good luck!! hope things work out one way or another.
2006-12-12 07:15:29 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋