She graduated from college in 99 but hasn't done much since then besides watching TV or browsing the web. We have no kids and no parents to take care of. I make enough money for both of us to live comfortably. I've tried to motivate her to start working for 7 years now but so far to no avail.
2006-12-12 07:04:45 · 35 answers · asked by flabbergasted3000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get her into counseling first...then if her lazy butt won't work...no one can say you didn't try...
:)
2006-12-12 07:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by Mikey ~ The Defender of Myrth 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Why is it she feels she should not have to work? I could understand if you had young children at home to care for, or if she had a medical condition which prevented her from working. In this situation their is no excuse and she is refusing to work because she has gotten away with it for this long, so she feels that she will continue to get away with it. It is not fair to you at all! Just because she is a woman does not mean she should not work! To me, this is no different than a man loafing around the house and not working. I say give her one month to be employed, full time or end it. No joke, no leniency, no b.s., if she doesn't do it, either send her out the door with her bags packed, or pack your bags and go. If she had any respect for you, or cared about your relationship, she would be doing her part. Just be sure that whatever you deceide, and whatever you tell her, that you stick to what you said. Don't bother trying to motivate her, or remind her that she needs to get busy looking because she is running out of time. Stop letting this woman freeload off you.
2006-12-12 07:12:37 · answer #2 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't dump her. I have a tech college degree and I've applied to 200 jobs to no avail all I can find is a 12 hour a week part time job. Granted I have hip problems that prevent me from doing work that requires standing for a full shift and hearing problems that prevent me from doing phones but I want to work like hell and can't find more than a 12 hour a week job. I guess your wife's situation is a little different but I sure wouldn't want my husband to leave just cuz I don't have a full time job!
2006-12-12 07:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by trishay79 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She sounds depressed to me. If I were you I'd take her to the doctor and tell the doctor she has no motivation to do anything and you suspect she is depressed. Medications can help her. You married her for better or worse, in sickness and in health, you know. You need to help her help herself. Also, if you make enough money for you to live comfortably, why does she need to work? Maybe she lacks self-esteem. Have you built her up? Maybe she would do a better job if you found some good volunteer work for her that would make her feel empowered and good about herself, and yet help others, too. If she stubbornly refuses to do anything, THEN you have the right to leave her, but not until you've done your best to help her..
2006-12-12 07:44:09 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I never been married so I would dead wrong to tell you to dump your wife. I am firm believer in marriages. Did you forget your vows? For better or worse and in sickness or health.
Maybe she's really depress and you just don't understand what she's going through. Please for your seven years sake tell her how you really feel about her unemployment. I know you really love her because you been there this long. Seek counseling for both of you all and save your marriage. It's worth a try don't you think. Tell her your goals for retirement and you need help to reach those goals for the both of you.
2006-12-12 07:55:26 · answer #5 · answered by Gail S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she do housework and cook meals? Does she pay bills or take the trash out? Does she mow the lawn? Does she get up when you do to make you breakfast when you go to work? Does she make you lunch to take to work?Take a look at what she does. If she does those things, then she is doing her job as a housewife. That IS a job, just a lousy paying one with no appreciation. If she doesn't do any of those things and you've put up with it for 7 yrs., then why now are you worrying about it? You've made her believe it's ok. I work 60 plus hours a week, plus take care of 2 kids, plus do all the housework, plus do all the bills, plus helped my mom out for months after my dad died, so I have no sympathy for a woman who won't work OR do housework, or do everything she can for you to make your life easier so you can go to work. You need to talk to her and tell you how you feel before you start RESENTING her and her freedom.
2006-12-12 07:11:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you make enough money why do u want her to work. You might want to start to duplicate men... Make kids for her to work with. I guess is the opposite with me. I want to work but my husband dont want me to. He says he makes enough for our family to survive that I should stay home and raise the kids. So i took his advice. I worked since i was 13. Now all i have is my 2 kids. Why would u dumped her after so many years? I mean is that all its bothering you? Or there is more?
2006-12-12 07:10:05 · answer #7 · answered by u_better_remember_me 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
take the Internet off the computer for starters if she want to stay on the computer all day let her pay for it. buy yourself a lap top and keep it away from her. take the cable off the TV she is at home all day let her pay for it. i hate to tell you all these thing to do, but she is lazy. i would not dump her but i would force her to work. she can but you have let her get away with doing nothing for so long, and now the only way she will work, you would have to die and i know that is not going to happen so take away all of her resources. if she wants candy, ice-cream, or want to get her nails and hair done if she can't pay for it, don't you. force her to work. she will work or she will leave or you can just let it go.
2006-12-12 07:17:02 · answer #8 · answered by BLUE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
does your wife cook the meals and clean the house? that is already a job.
does she satisfy you in the bedroom? that is a job too.
does she listen to you with all your complaints? that's a job too.
Those are pro-bono jobs. Housewives are the most underrated jobs that don't receive much recognition.
Why don't you clean the house, cook all the gourmet meals, do the laundry, clean the bedrooms,etc..and see how tired you get.
How about this. Convince your boss to hire her. Maybe your wife doesn't like job interviews. Give her something to do when your at work. Y'all can work together.
I am also concerned about. What if your wife got a minimum wage job? Are you gonna complain about that? Sometimes college graduates don't get a good job. What if your wife becomes a strippers? that's a job. I bet your still gonna complain about her.
2006-12-12 07:12:50 · answer #9 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
No No No....you promised her for better or worse....Don't dump her over this....
But I'll tell ya what you can do........Cut the cable and internet off. Stop buying her gifts, only what she need. Stop putting gas in her car..... limit her spending money... Still provide for her needs.....but all the extras make her work for them....
Tell her, her not working is driving you crazy and she needs to do something or it is going to cause serious and unnecessary problems.
But be ready for the backlash........she's not going to clean the house or give you any.......But if you can withstand it...she'll give in before you.....because no real woman likes to have a nasty home......
2006-12-12 07:12:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems that you haven't done much also ! Where are the kids. It is 7 years man ! Give her 3-5 kids. Let her take care of your kids.
2006-12-12 07:10:23 · answer #11 · answered by kenneth h 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋