I have been friends with a few women who act completely oblivious to the fact that their significant other is a raging alcoholic or drug abuser. Why don't they want to admit it? One of my former good friends always talked about how her fiance was wasted every day and if he didn't drink he was a psycho, yet she refused to admit he was an alcoholic. Why do women do this to themselves? I just don't get it. It's really sad.
As a daughter of an alcoholic, I know that it never gets any better. They will promise to cut down, stop, etc.. but it never helps. Things always get worse unless they admit their addicts and seek treatment.
2006-12-12 07:01:05 · 16 answers · asked by two_kee_kees 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To Good: if you would read the next sentences after my statement you'd realize that I WAS referring to my own experience. As I stated above, it never gets better unless the person seeks treatment. So GFY.
2006-12-12 07:23:03 · update #1
As the saying goes: Love is BLIND!
2006-12-12 07:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by Fruit Cake Lady 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they think that if they admit the addiction then they would have to admit that they had somehow failed...they thought that with their love and support the man would grow to see that they don't need the drugs or the alcohol...these women are more than likely in denial of having problems of their own, like low self-esteem, low self respect, codependency, and not knowing how to start over with someone new...they need to work on themselves and change themselves, but because this would mean admitting in some weird way that they had failed they won't do it...although the truth of the matter is that the only way that they're failing is by not leaving the alcoholic or drug addict...it's a horrible cycle...glad you got out of it...so did I...Dad was addicted to heroine, Mom was addicted to him! And with addiction comes abuse, the inability to have a stable home for more than 6 or 7 months at a time, if that...I went down the same road for quite some time...after I stabbed my husband while he beat the crap out of me one last time I realized that I had a bigger problem than he did...it's not easy admitting faults
2006-12-12 15:17:47 · answer #2 · answered by Shannon M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the daughter of an alcoholic you will have trust issues the rest of your life. I am so sorry. But, yes, when women fall in love they don't see their lovers the way they really are until the shine has worn off the romance. It would be good if all women dated men for a couple years before marrying. That way, they'd begin to see the signs of addiction before they married.
2006-12-12 15:05:10 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes they get cought up doing the same thing and since they don't see where it's wrong, they don't see where it's a problem.
Maybe they have a dependency of thier boyfriends/husbands and would rather be miserable with them, than be lonely without them. Who knows. All I know is that it's not a life I would like to live and don't plan on living that life at all. I go out occasionally and get drunk, but not like I've seen.
2006-12-12 15:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by 35 goodlookinmalefrombalt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they realize it, but they possibly prefer to keep their private life private.
personally, i dont feel like it is of anyones intrest (even my friends) how much or little my boyfriend drinks or smokes or anything for that matter.
although each woman understands the addictions, it's almost embarrasing to see or speak about the stuggles that come with the ones you love, seeing as though you're a daughter of an alcoholic i'm suprised you, too, dont understand what it feels like to admit that your own father had an addiction.
2006-12-12 15:23:21 · answer #5 · answered by Chloe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Addiction is a horrible disease. Many women/men live in denial over their addiction because they keep hope for their families. Sometimes, the mate is codependent on the addicted partner. It is difficult when a loving spouse thinks that they are doing what is best for their mate, when they are only enabling their behavior.
2006-12-12 15:11:27 · answer #6 · answered by Nut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for the most part it's called living in denial,and for alot of people not just women,they portray that the partner is all bad but the truth is they share the same addictions and just have'nt come out of the closet yet,and in the cases where the other partner never indulges and the other never quits or stays on that rollercoaster,sooner or later the relationship crashes and burns,and not that it's right but for the most part we all do it out of LOVE!
2006-12-12 15:09:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We want to see the best in the ones we love. So we excuse bad behavior as them "just having a bad day." Just like some parents think their kids are the best while the brats are out boozing and taking drugs. It's called denial.
Also, for people who are in relationships with alcoholics, possibly they have low self-esteem and stay with people who are no good for them. Being in a relationship, any relationship, validates them as a human being so they would rather stay than be alone.
2006-12-12 15:02:55 · answer #8 · answered by Garbanzo 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
"As a daughter of an alcoholic, I know that it never gets any better."
That is not a true statement. Individuals that drink can stop drinking. In fact, they can turn their lives around. That statement is more like a personal opinion and could be limited to your experience.
2006-12-12 15:21:43 · answer #9 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Because sometimes they love the person so much they dont want to jeperdize their relationship. Other times they could be scared that they would break up and they would never find anyone elts, and that they would grow old alone.
2006-12-12 15:11:05 · answer #10 · answered by annastar92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These women are afraid of starting all over again and figure they put alot of "hard work" into these abusive, degrading relationships. They don't think anyone else would want them, or they can't do better so they're best stuck in the rut they're in.
2006-12-12 15:04:52 · answer #11 · answered by incognitas8 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋