Alabama and Memphis folks, help me !?

Question

I am going to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time in Memphis. I need to know tips and things to remember. I know that people from the south are very respectful and big on the yes ma'am no ma'am and yes sir no sir. Anything else that I need heads up on? My boyfriend is very respectful and that says alot about his family even though I have not met them yet. He visited me a few times and was shocked by the lifestyle in San Fransico. Please tell me everything I need to know and need to remember.

Thanks in advance!!!!!!!!1

Answer 1

Well, first thing's first.

Forget everything you've heard. Southerners can be very warm and inclusive. I've also learned that they tend to be very shrewd, practical people. Plus, if they're not fundamentalists, they party like nobody's business. So here's a quick primer on dealing wiith the prospective in-laws.

1) Southerns still observe the formalities. We believe that etiquette is not some arcane set of rules, but rather a good way to ensure that everybody is comfortable in a particular social situation. Learn to observe and respect the basic courtesies, and you're halfway there. Write thank-you notes to everybody and you're in like Flynn.

2) Southerners tend to be very people oriented. Don't be surprised or offended if you are asked a lot of questions about your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, your dog, your second cousin twice removed, etc. etc. etc. They ask these questions because they want to understand you beyond who you say you are. Southerners value family and friends, and they like other people who do the same.

3) Try not to be direct. Southerners tend to speak in euphemisms designed not to hurt anybody's feelings. So you will rarely get a straightforward answer to anything. Some would interpret this as being dishonest. We would regard this as being considerate.

An example, in business meetings, Southerners tend to resemble nobody as much as the Japanese. We place a very strong emphasis on small talk at the beginning of the meeting, and frown on people who cut directly to the chase.

Oh, you will also probably encounter opinions markedly different from yours on politics, religion, and everything else under the sun. This is very important: RESPECT THEIR OPINION. You can disagree politely and change the subject, but don't regard them as a bunch of neanderthals. Their opinions are based on their own knowledge and experience, and are just as valid as yours. Northerners tend to believe that we just stepped out of the cast of Hee Haw and don't know any better. However, a Southern can smell condescension from 100 yards away.

4) Show spunk. Don't be intimidated. Throw yourself into the fray. Offer to help in the kitchen. Spend time with the female relatives away from your boyfriend. The women are the ones you have to win over. Flatter them. Take a cue from the girls and tell a bawdy joke or two if the conversation takes a turn that way. Southern women, even the most soft-spoken, have the steeliest spines you can imagine. And they will respect those who have the same--as long as you're gracious about it.

5) Appreciate the South, And Accept Our Culture. My brother brought a girl home from LA to visit over Christmas a few years ago. She never left the guest room, spent as little tiime with the family as possible, and carped about how people in Los Angeles did things so much better. Don't be that person. Southerners appreciate differences in others, as long as you appreciate the differrences in them.

Hope that helps. Oh, and here's the #1 way to get any Southerner to like you: If you're not a vegetarian, ask to be taken to a first-class barbecue joint. Then rave about how much better the barbecue is in the South as opposed to out west where all people do is smear KC Masterpiece all over a piece of meat. You will be beloved instantly.

Answer 2

Okay. I moved from Indiana to Alabama several years ago to get married. (No longer married to the same guy) I made lots of mistakes, and in retrospect, I should have kept my mouth shut more the first time I met the in-laws. Also, I tried too hard to be someone I wasn't. If I had it to do over, I would listen more, and talk less until they got to know the real me. I would offer to make the coffee, I'd be right beside the Mrs. in the kitchen, and I'd say "yes ma'am" and "no sir" even though it feels strange. I would follow my boyfriend's lead. The bottom line is that you have to be yourself. I'm just trying to help you make that ever so important first impression. You'll be fine, and enjoy the South! I love it here.

Answer 3

Fav: Kentucky They gave us Bourbon and Horse racing. People are for essentially the most side pleasant. Some are backwards in locations (however each state has bizarre backwards individuals) however that is generally in a long way japanese Kentucky close Virginia and West Virginia. Least Fav: Georgia Was there for an SEC match. The police burdened us continually then a few homeless bum in Atlanta shanked me going for walks again after a sport. Tried to get aid from the police however they left out me and did not even ship an ambulance. Some of the individuals i met had been pleasant however for essentially the most side they had been impolite and disagreeable.

Answer 4

if he's from memphis, dont wear a banjo on your knee, 'cause the'll know youre from alabama, and they hate them!

Answer 5

Yes, please remember, Memphis is in Tennessee