He studied with me when I was in India. He was my project mate. We used to do many study works together, that way we were good friends. But now , I am married and living in US. Surprisingly that boy too has come here for higher studies. He is constantly contacting me since he don't have any friends in US, (just friendly) not remembering that now i am married. How should I ask him not to , with out hurting him.
2006-12-12 06:44:34 · 16 answers · asked by Malu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well, first of all, you should be his friend. I mean, say you go to Mongolia to live for awhile. you only know one person, you would want to have that person as a friend since they are the only thing you know in that country.
This country is new to him, and he is experiencing cultural shock, so yeh, first of all, still be his friend
BUT
also let him know your married. If anything happened between you two in India, well tell him, if will never happen again because YOUR married. He should understand.
BUT
if he is the kind of person, who is always 'wanting' something from you. you know what kind of person I am referrring to, then just ignore him.
It really all depends on what kind of person he is.
If he is a nice understandable guy, be his friend
If he he a horn dog, that won't leave you alone, then just ignore him
good luck and happy deciding.
2006-12-12 06:55:44 · answer #1 · answered by dizzy_19832002 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will hurt him - just try to soften the blow.
Just tell him that it was great to be friends and you are sorry to be hurtful but you are married now and have moved past this part of your life. Tell him you wish him the best and tell him he has to find some new friends to hang out with.
He will be hurt, maybe even angry. If he keeps contacting you just be a little more matter of fact. If it continues beyond a few tries (and you are telling him clearly to leave you alone) then it becomes time to call the police.
2006-12-12 06:49:47 · answer #2 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is to remind him your busy schedule and marriage; and mention that you don't have much time for anything else. He should understand that you dont want him to contact you after that.
And you might not like this but I think you might have some doubts about your marriage too. This kind of situation wouldn't cause such distress in a happy marriage.
2006-12-12 07:04:49 · answer #3 · answered by who_knows 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he seeking you out romantically, or just making contact with someone he knows? Does your husband know? Tell your husband who he is; your history together, and reach out to the poor guy. Who says you can't be friends? Every human I know craves fellowship and community with other people. This guy surely does, too. On the other hand, if he is a pest and you can't stand him, politely but firmly turn him away.
2006-12-12 06:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by twicewise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure, i imagine you need to because the fiancee about the guy. purely ask him if he ought to describe some element about his associates (he would carry out the efficient when you consider that he's associates with him), yet ask him any way. do not let fiancee provide too a lot information because the date would finally end up bland if he does so. lucks to you
2016-11-25 23:09:37 · answer #5 · answered by holts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he's just into being friends & you like him as a friend why not invite him over with your jusband home & maybe introduce him to some people that you know - that would be the nice thing to do as long as he's not some kind of psycho.
2006-12-12 06:48:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't understand why you can't talk to him if the two of you where just friends but that's my opinion but just drop him a letter or note that your married now and that you don't think it will be good to continue to be his friend and that your husband is the jealous type
2006-12-12 06:48:22 · answer #7 · answered by nazwats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you do not want him to contact you. Explain that you are married and you do not feel comfortable with the contact.
2006-12-12 06:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by Gabha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him -- let him know you are married -- he should get the picture -- unless he's screwed up :)
2006-12-12 06:48:07 · answer #9 · answered by Jaren A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him about the most recent flare-up of your genital herpes.
2006-12-12 06:47:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋