I have a dilemma.
My boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage in the future, and a family.
I want to be a stay at home Mom but he only likes that idea if I work again when the kids are school age.
Ideally, we both would have flex. schedules so we both could be around a lot, but one of us has to bring home the bacon and I really can't see myself doing that.
He tells me I'm old fashioned yet in the same sentence he asks me why HE can't be a stay at home Dad...
If I was bringing home the big bucks, that would be fine but aren't men raised to be the providers?
Most men I know would love their wife to be a stay at home Mom.
Why is he complaining?
2006-12-12 06:22:48 · 27 answers · asked by Sixth_Sense 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
LOL...you are old fashion...have you ever heard of...
Womens Lib???
Feminist movement
The feminist movement (also known as the Women's Movement and Women's Liberation) campaigns on issues such as reproductive rights (including abortion), domestic violence, maternity leave, equal pay, sexual harassment, and sexual violence. The goals of the movement vary from country to country, e.g. opposition to female genital cutting in Sudan, or to the glass ceiling in European countries.
Women wanted to be created as equals and now they want it all...but in reality, in this day and age many couples have to work to survive and it's not getting any better!!!
2006-12-12 06:28:44 · answer #1 · answered by joy ride 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The ability to provide the sole income for a young family depends on a couple things. The first is how much the man makes, and the second is type of lifestyle you are willing to live. Can a young family get by on $50K if they have a small house and a couple of 3-4 year old cars? Sure! My wife took seven years off to raise kids, which was the most fulfilling thing she ever did, and we got great kids in the bargain. But - we didn't eat out much, took short vacations, and had some tight months. So what? It's not about stuff, it really isn't. Now my kids are 7 and 5, we have a 2500 s.f. house on 3 acres, and enjoy every day. Live within your means, and have a plan. Don't expect to live like a kid again. Know how to budget, and make sure to put away at least $1000 cash for emergencies, and for the love of GOD, don't use credit cards.
Learn how to live within your means, because debt sucks, and is a major contributor to the divorce rate. Get this stuff squared up before you say "I do", because love is not defined by two people staring into each other's eyes, it's two people marching in the same direction, hand in hand. Otherwise, you go nowhere.
Good luck
2006-12-12 06:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by Boatman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a good family life it is better wife to be stay at home as housewife to look after children preparing food for husband and children most of the men like this.It is true that men raised to be the providers but now things are become costly what husband earns may not sufficient for the family in this case both are earning it makes the life easier.It is also possible if wife manage the house expenses by using limitted money in this case both should come to a dicission, in between children should not suffer.In my opinion wife should stay at home it is good for the kids and for the hole family.
2006-12-12 06:42:50 · answer #3 · answered by David S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a different day and age. Most men, me included, aren't looking or want the stereo typical stay at home wife and unless he is bringing in six figures a year it will be relatively hard to support a wife and child. College costs are continually rising, housing (decent) is not cheap, gas is definitely not cheap along with a number of other expenses that can hit the household. With that said, it does need to be a partnership to make the household work.
2006-12-12 06:28:40 · answer #4 · answered by Bill H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a product of feminism in the 21st century and you are a product of another time.... as I am. The problem is that you don't have the same values in this area. Unless you can come to an agreement you are both comfortable with, you will have a lot of future problems in the relationship. You might want to consider moving on to find someone who wants a wife who will stay at home and raise his children.... which is the highest calling there is for a woman.
Best Wishes,
Sue
2006-12-12 06:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does your boyfriend have a job, now? If you're both working now, why wouldn't you both be working afterwards? In this day and age, it takes two incomes, and sometimes even more, to make it. Not every man was brought up to be Mr. Macho. That's selfish of you to want to stay home. I'm sorry, but it's a hard world to survive in these days, and it takes 2 incomes. Do you expect him to go out and get a 2nd job? The 2 of you need to understand each other on this, or it won't work.
2006-12-12 06:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by MommaRoxie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Few couples these days can afford for one to stay home and not work, cost of living is just too high...If y'all can afford for one of you not to work until the kids are school age, that's great...the kids will really beneft...but at that point, when the kids aren't at home all day, then the stay-at-home parent needs to help bring in income to support the family and provide for the kids...even if its money put away for their college...
Men used to be the providers...and women were expected to stay home and raise the kids...however times have changed and although I'm 100% for a parent to be home as much as possible with their kid(s), when the kid isn't home, then he or she should be helping "bring home the bacon"
2006-12-12 06:29:01 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nowadays depending on your financial goals, its not feasible for either spouse to be a stay at home parent. With the real estate market rising and inflation, one salary in some metro cities will not cut it. Not saying to rush to work, because raising children is important, but if the are not here yet, maybe focus on school and a career first and once financially stable (with a good savings for many emergencies that arise in life) then start your family and become a stay at home mom (or dad). Whichever works out for you two.
2006-12-12 06:28:05 · answer #8 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men were suppose to be the providers but things have changed since they think that women have easy lives,women do nothing all day long and they have to work so hard to put food on the table and pay the bills. The family life has suffered but these are modern times and it's what the men want.
2006-12-12 06:37:36 · answer #9 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wasn't raised the way you were. And he doesn't think it's fair for him to be the sole provider for you and the family.
If you know so many men who would love their wife to stay at home, then perhaps you should dump your boyfriend for one of these guys. When you can't agree what kind of a marriage the two of you are going to have, then getting married to this guy is foolish. Your marriage will likely end in divorce.
2006-12-12 06:31:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband can provide for the family and that's what you both agree on that would be fine. But in so many marriages both have a career and they seem to do just fine. It's actually between the couple how they want to do this. It sounds like he would like it for you to work as well. Maybe do to income, or the fact that he feels you guys would be able to do so much more with the second income.
2006-12-12 06:29:45 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋