Hey everyone I am curious as to what your suggestions are.. I have a best friend she means the world to me and I couldn't imagine my life without her.. I mean I literally love this woman and her 2 babies are adorable. She is due to get a trust fund of 400,000.00 on her 25th bday which is thursday.. She knows that I am in a very bad financial situation right now with my 2 babies and I am barely making it I can't even see straight I feel like I am at rock bottom with a ton of bricks on top of me.. My boyfriend says I should just ask her if she can help me out a little bit and promise to repay her back, and I would over time make payments to her she could keep a record of it..I would do it just like a loan.. but I dont' want to lose her as my friend by asking.. what should I do.. Would I be wrong to ask? HELP me please I don't want to ask, but I have exhausted all other means.
2006-12-12 05:52:06 · 34 answers · asked by cheryl m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
See it would fundamentally change the dynamics of your friendship to borrow money like that.
Let her come to you don't go there with your hand out. Be a god friend. Maybe have a party for this friend but don't ask. Seriously. I've seen it before. Money may solve your recent trouble but not your problem. If you figure a way out you will be better at solving your problems and still have a friend.
Don't lose this friends respect. She will get it from all sides from other people like family and such. She won't think of you the same way again. Let her feel she is offering you first.
If your TV broke would you borrow hers if she just got a new big screen? Let her invite you to her superbowl party and enjoy it together.
2006-12-12 05:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by BrianBucks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your friend, ask her. It is very difficult to be in that situation and if she wants to, she will loan you the money. But, you will never know if she will help unless you ask her. The worst thing she can say is no.
While asking her, tell her the whole truth. Don't omit anything. Tell her that you would like to take a loan from her and would like to draw up a payment agreement for both of you to sign so that she is sure she will get the money back. But, don't tell her that you can pay above what you can actually pay because it will put stress on your friendship. If you can only pay $50/month or even $10/month-be sure to be honest with her because she will expect that amount. Good luck. I know it's hard asking for money, but sometimes we just need help.
2006-12-12 05:56:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old saying is never loan a friend money, it will break up the friendship, But, this is a lot of money she is receiving and if she is a true friend, and knows your situation, she would offer to help. If she does , you should definitely try to pay her back even if its a few dollars a month , that will kept your friendship totally intact.. I am curious if she is in a desperate situation herself and totally depending on this inheritance ! If so , you might need to wait to , and ask her, after she takes care of her own responsibilities.. Good Luck
2006-12-12 06:02:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First what is your boyfriend doing to help? Why would you even put how much someone you know is getting on the net where anyone could track down who you are then in the process find out who she is? I hope she doesn't see the question and ask why you put it up on here. You have already violated the trust in the relationship by putting that in the question. Why not wait and see what she is going to do with it. She may offer you some. I truly hope it works out for you but you have taken a much bigger risk by not thinking this thing through on your own.
2006-12-12 05:58:58 · answer #4 · answered by Joey R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear--if you were my best friend--and I was getting that money--and I am so blind--that you do have a need--then you are better off without me--plain and simple--the friendship would not be worth the paper it is written on.
If you truly value this friendship--then leave it for her to ask--since this is out the window--
First of all--you may not be able to repay--it should be a gift.
Second of all--you would see the true nature of this friendship.
A friendship can neither be bought nor sold--but a true friend is the one who sees the needs of the other--and does not have to be told once--or not know the needs of this friend--
I would be so interested to know the outcome of this--
I do hope this friend sees your need--and steps up to the plate--
By the way--get rid of the feelings of non-entitlement--since a friendship is based on helping each other--and knowing when someone has a need and to meet it--not based on a million bucks--but at least having the ability to help --in this situation will make a ton of difference.\
In lieu of her not offering--I would not ask----really--it would prove the value of your friendship--either way.
2015-02-21 06:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would write her an email or letter. In person it would put too much pressure on her. I would be very modest in how much you are asking for. (you might wait and do nothing-she may offer to help you without you asking) I would state how and when you'd pay her back.
You had better follow through with your payback plan.
You also might jepordize your relationship with her by asking and there may be a few others around her thinking the same thing.
I would not ask right away she knows your situation-your better off seeing if she offers first Good Luck!
2006-12-12 06:15:02 · answer #6 · answered by Duane Allman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you completely... You don't want her thinking your using her and you don't want a friendship to get ruined in the end. Honestly, if she knows your situation and she's a trully a true best friend she's going to help you without you asking for it- with no pay backs! But the thing is... you've got to let her recieve her blessing and then wait to see if she'll bless you, because then you'll know if she feels the same about you! More than likely she's going to want someone to spend it with and she's going to ask you- is there anything you need- just be patient and be honest but just in case she doesn't say a word or she doesn't offer- sit her down tell her everything and then don't change stay the same good friend you've always been! God is going to bless you too... One day soon!
2006-12-12 06:08:17 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't ask, I know times are tuff but if she loves you as much as you say you love her she already knows your situation and if you are trustworthy, no one will no better if that is the truth or not than your friend and help you out with the loan. Also If she don't help you as much as you feel you need just remember that it isn't fair for you to be angry with her for that.Your situation is just that, your situation and shouldn't be forced upon anyone else just because they are in a better situation than you and therefore liable to bail you out of your debt completely.Some help would be better than none right? Remember I am sure she has never had this kind of money before and will have people coming out of the wood work for a piece of it.Make sure you help her out and remind her that money cant buy you friends or love. Help her to do good for herself with that money too, like say invest in the future.
2006-12-12 06:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not ask! Everyone and their brother is going to be down her throat bugging her for money. You have managed to get by without your friend having all this money before, and you should continue to do it now. Money and friends do not mix! If your friend knows your situation, their is a good chance she will offer to help out on her own, if this is the case, then be sure to work out a repayment plan that you can truly live by. What you should be asking, of yourself, is how am I going to make changes in my life to prevent myself from being in this situation again?
2006-12-12 05:59:24 · answer #9 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were to ask her for the money, it could ruin your friendship. It would be ok if she were to offer it to you, but don't ask her for it.
If you are in a really bad financial bind, then you should consider a personal loan from a financial institution, or try consolidating your debt.
Remember, that it's not your friends' responsibility to help you with your finances. If she does not offer the money, don't be offended, she is not obligated to do so.
2006-12-12 06:02:53 · answer #10 · answered by *Logan's Mommy* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋