My live-in boyfriend of 3 years has suddenly become uninterested in sex in the past 2-3 months, and it's really getting on my nerves. He wasn't like this before, and he claims there's no reason for it other than being tired. He's been working at the same job, and working the same hours for over a year...so it's odd to me that he's suddenly so "tired" that he can't have sex.
I keep asking for sex, and he keeps saying "later"...but, of course, later never comes. He plays with this PS2 or watches TV until he falls asleep on the couch in the middle of the night.
What gives? This is ridiculous. I'm used to having sex on a regular basis, and now I'm lucky to get it twice a month. I'm not a cheater, so I won't go elsewhere. And the battery-operated boyfriend is OK sometimes, but it's not meant to be a permanent replacement for REAL c*ck!!
What should I do? I don't know what the problem is, and I'm at my wits end.
2006-12-12 05:37:09 · 32 answers · asked by heather_chavous 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
P.S. He was home today so I went home for lunch and offered him a BJ, just to see what he would say...and he wasn't interested. What the hell??
2006-12-12 05:39:17 · update #1
Bob J called me a nagging, irritating b*tch for wondering why my boyfriend is neglecting me. Well, smart a$$, I don't nag, nor irritate, nor b*tch. I've asked what the problem is with him, yes...but that does not mean that I'm a complete idiot who doesn't know how to approach him in a loving way. I've been nothing but good to him, so don't blame ME because he has problems. He's been caught doing shady things before, so I suspect it's got something to do with that. But I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt right now and not jump to conclusions. If you want to be a jerk, keep your comments to yourself.
2006-12-12 06:53:23 · update #2
Sounds like he is cheating.
2006-12-12 05:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by BiancaVee 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Over the weekend, tell him you want to go for a drive. While going down the road DON'T ASK just reach over and pull it out of hiding, and give your boyfriend a BJ when he's driving!!! If he complains, tells you to stop, or pushes your advances away then there are some SERIOUS problems going on that need to be addressed.
If he allows you to have your way then there probably aren't any seriuous issues other than his non-compliance. Just take control of the whole sex issue, and take what you want instead of asking for him to give you some, then at some point get him to talk to you about what the real problem seems to be, hopefully he will see how important this is to you and if he cares and loves you enough, he will be willing to make some changes in his behavior/ lack of interest.
If he makes no attempt to resolve this matter, then honey, I would dump his dumb a*s and find someone else with the same interest, needs and goals in life....I realize it's been 3yrs with him, but left unresolved this could be what you have to look forward to for the next 25yrs. (Want to live with this the rest of your life???) I know I don't and won't.
Best of luck!!!!
2006-12-12 06:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by "N"saysable 1iric 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a guy thing. He has had sex with you for awhile and now he needs some variety. If that is hanging out at a topless bar with the guys or surfing the net for porn then he can get his cheap thrills and you get his lust. On the surfing part, I would do some of it with him. It can help. The other option is renting sex for an hour or so. Not usually a good idea - although most prostitutes - not street walkers - will say they have saved more marriages than most marriage councilors. The other choice is to look into a swingers group - but your relationship appears to be not secure enough to handle that. It takes a strong couple with a good relationship. Good luck.
2006-12-12 06:50:57 · answer #3 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive gone through the SAME exact situation..you know what the problem was: porn. Does he look at it alot? I noticed that everytime I wanted to do "stuff" he was either (or claimed to be) a) too tired b) we will do it later...but i found out that when I wasnt there he was NEVER too tired to whack off at least everyother day. Then if I was so "lucky" to get some, it would be so boring and he doesnt get into it. It pi**ed me off, yeah alot, so I told him unless he stopped or limited watching porn, I wasnt sure about our relationship because I need sex to be a part of it. He has since claimed to have stopped and it has gotten a bit better. You can try and talk to him about it. It sounds like something else is taking up his time, whether it is another girl, his job, his PS2, or anything..you have to figure out what that is. Good Luck!
2006-12-13 14:16:57 · answer #4 · answered by Ash_082 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's true. He's probably bored and tired of the same routines in his everyday life regarding his job and bills to pay. Sit down and talk to him. Reassure him that if there is a problem he can come talk to you and it will get resolved.
Try spicing things up a bit in your romance. Take him on a weekend getaway somewhere where both of you can relax and enjoy each other. Give him a bubble bath, full body massage with oils, candle light dinner, make him feel like royalty and I'm sure he will come through.
2006-12-12 05:45:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex drive between individuals varies, but usually this question is from the male, not the female. My instincts as a male is that he is bored with the sex, or the relationship, and needs a break, or a difference. Try other things to bring him around, and if he doesnt respond, then frankly tell him this is not a life you wish to lead, and you will eventually leave him, or cheat. If he cannot give what you wish in the relationship, then there is no relationship!
2006-12-12 05:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by RandyFWiley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe beating the Johnson a little too often, cheating or going through a lot. Stress comes in more forms than just work. Don't assume anyone of these. Just continue to ask questions. But even that can eventually become added stress...
Pressuring someone for sex, rarely works.
2006-12-12 05:42:19 · answer #7 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe it could be a medical problem has he been to a dr to check it out if not then maybe you should bring it up and ask him what is wrong ? I think maybe there could be underlying factors such as stress at work or maybe he is feeling a little down or could be the ultimate boo-boo he has been cheating . I hate to say that but that could be a possiblity . mine (ex husband) was cheating on me for 8 months and I never knew . I was an idiot and I trusted him when he said it was work related . Yeah right untill I found out I had an std from him and he still denied it . So yours could be just a number of things ,just talk to him ok?good luck and god bless and happy holidays.
2006-12-12 05:44:09 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was in the same situation and I was going nuts!!! I was soo moody and stuff and never really brought it up. But then I just told him how I felt and how I would like it if we tried this and that.. and now we're back on track..=) and I love it! Confront him and let him know how much sex is important to you (thats what I told my BF) and that you desire it with him and hopefully that works. If not then something else might be bothering him... good luck to you..
2006-12-12 06:00:17 · answer #9 · answered by BuNNY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he's getting his sex elsewhere...or perhaps, for some medical reason, his libido has died.
Tell him this is a big issue for you, and you want him to get checked by a doc to make sure all is well...if he's okay physically, then tell him couples counseling is next...if he refuses either of these, I'd suggest you two part ways. If he's hiding something or refusing to get help to fix the problem, why should you suffer for it?
2006-12-12 05:41:39 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First take him to the Dr. to rule out a medical problem. If there is no medical problem and you still can't interest him try counseling together or on your own. Then only you can decide if you can live this way or if you must part ways. I wish you luck!!
2006-12-12 05:47:53 · answer #11 · answered by SHERRI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋