is my husband cheating on me?

Question

I have a feeling that my husband is cheating on me. We have a friend who is also married and she calls and comes around alot with her son and husband. We met them throught my son a few months ago. Well the first month of our friendship i just got this gut feeling about her. Something told me not to trust her. Well what was so weird was my sister came over on day and though two met, that night my sister called me and told me that there was something about her she didnt trust. I did say something to my husband but he thinks i was just be weird. Well a few months went by and he told me he was going out xmas shopping for me. He said he went out by himself and that night as I put two and two together i found out he went out with this women (my friend). He said she knew what I want for xmas. Well I only knew her for 3 months and Ive been with him for 15 years. So my ?do you think he is cheating? He tells me that there is no interesting in her and her husband is his friend and that he loves m

Theres lot more then the xmas shopping. My husbands is not an kidding around kind of guy. He has something to say about most people he meets. When my friend calls and Iam not home he always tells me to call her back and if I dont he makes sure he keeps telling me until I do. He is willing to watch our 4 kids any time of the day if she wants me to go anywhere with her, never offers with any other friend or family members who ask me to go anywhere. He alway taps her on the cheek when he thinks Iam not looking. He always feels sorry for her because that dont have much money. Our love life is still good by our commuacation stinks. She seems to know alot about him and I ask how she knows and her answer is that he tells her husband and her when he is at there house.

Answer 1

If this woman is not a mutual friend that you confide in...how would she know what you want for Christmas? It appears that he is hiding something from you, but do not jump to conclusions yet. I would wait to see what "they" bought you for Christmas.
On the other hand, if he is tapping her on the cheek, and talking about your personal life...he is being disrespectful towards you. Your husband should respect that you do not trust this woman and he should be willing to cut off all ties with her.

Answer 2

Even if he is not cheating, there is something fishy going on here. Trust your instincts, they are with you for a reason. And do not let that woman back in your home, she is not your friend. There's got to be some other underlying issues going on here in your marriage, so address that, bc unless you are married to a sociopath, most people dont cheat unless they feel some need is not being met in the current relationship, so find out what that is. The other woman is just a distraction from a deeper issue. Don't focus your energy on her, just don't talk to her anymore and if she asks why tell her you need to focus on your family right now and you don't want any distractions. If your husband fights you on that, well then you have your answer.

Answer 3

You can believe whatever you want, but your gut will not lie after 15 years of being with this man. You know your answer without enforcing him to continue to lie about it. The thing you should do is decide what you are going to do about it. Let him know how you really feel about the situation and let him know what you will do if it's found out to be true. Then leave it alone to keep from stressing over something you can't stop. He has to stop it and if he finds out that he's jeopardizing his marriage by seeing her he should make the right decision, (stop being around her in any form). Otherwise, be prepared for the worst if that be the case and do what makes YOU happy without being miserable behind his lies.

Answer 4

As a former "Cheater", Your feelings are probably correct. Women can sense those things, and are usually correct. The other woman has come on too strong to be much of anything else than a homewrecker. How about her husband, are you attracted to him? If not, then I suggest that you confront your husband, tell him your feelings (right or wrong) and leave it at that for now. Do not push him into an affair with accusations, but do not allow it to blind you from the possibility. Spice up his life with your sexual abilities, and surprize him on occasion with a "Treat" then he will behave like a good Dog!

Answer 5

Sometimes we as people feel threaten once another gender as our self comes around our partner, that's a honest and normal way for us to feel. But you must remember who your husband is and know how much your marriage means to you both. Sometimes we feel threaten by an attracted person been around our mate, but remember that's called jealousy, that's normal to even Yahweh the Almighty gets jealous. I advise you to pray about the matter and take sometime away from your new found friends to get your self a breather and a peace of mind. Now if you both agree to take sometime away from your new founds friends and he still sneak around with her then began to be suspicious and only then, but until that love respect and believe in what is only yours and yours alone. PEACE!

Answer 6

Listen to that feeling. Confront him. Talk it out. Your gut is rarely wrong on issues like this. If it makes you uncomfortable that he associates with her, than she needs to be out of your lives- in every way. You need to feel safe in your relationship, and if that is what it takes, he needs to do that. If there is nothing going on, he should have no problem cutting her out of his life because you are his wife and should be his number one priority. If there is something going on, then he'll probably argue about it. Check his e-mail, instant messenger etc. Looks for signs. Does he look away when you question him? Do you feel a "wall" between you? Trust that instinct. Good luck.

Answer 7

Wouldn't go so far to say he cheated but voice your concern and tell him, its not that you don't trust him, let him know you don't trust her. And you don't want him putting his self in a bad situation. Let him know you are not okay with the to having contact when you are not around.

Same goes for her if she is a close enough friend. Let her know you aren't comfortable with her being around you husband if you aren't there.

He's your husband you have to let others know hands off, and you also have to let him know to respect your opinion and what makes you uncomfortable. Hopefully he will her you, understand your concern and not put his self in the situation again.

Answer 8

Hold on a second, so far all you have is a feeling of distrust and one shopping trip? I've gone with my wife's friends to get gifts for my wife without sleeping with them. Granted, they were long time friends of my wife. However, your husband might not have needed her as your friend as much as he may have needed a female opinion. From what you have told us here I don't think you have anywhere near the amout of evidence needed to make a clear decision.

Answer 9

Now it sounds like you might need to sit down and have the "TALK". Tell him you inner most feelings and ask him point blank to tell you the truth. Look him in the face and see how he looks when you question his stability with you. Reverse the situation and ask him how he would feel if he were you? Yuo may need some counceling to get through this. Best wishes to you on your marriage.

Answer 10

he coould be..or maybe he just wanted a womans opinion on what he was getting u for xmas...if this is all u have proof of then i would say no...now if he starts disappearing for hours on end then i would have to say yes...the next time that u all are together in a room watch the 2 of them closely, u will be able to tell