the father- has called 1 time in a year to see his kids. has sent 2 payments... i could care less....(about the $) but it IS for the kids. so now 1 year has gone by and what if he decides to call now? what do i do. I did let him see them the last time he wanted to. what is this doing to the children.. and to whoever said it was the moms fault... no it isnt always. and yes the dad tells mutual friends that i am the one not letting him see the kids.. not true in any way. is that a little better?
2006-12-12 05:23:38 · 12 answers · asked by countrygirl_in 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Remind him of how much child support he owes you and ask will he be bringing that along too?
2006-12-12 05:25:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The kids know how often he has or hasn't seen them and they won't forget that. It hurts them but he is the one that will end up paying for that down the road. Anyone that believes his lies about you blocking him from seeing the kids is no friend anyway so don't worry about it. If he should call and ask to see the kids let him. Two wrongs don't make a right and if you should ever go to court it is in your favor. Frankly, I think you should take his sorry a$$ back to court and make him pay back child support and all future payments through the court. He owes it to his kids.
2006-12-12 05:42:48 · answer #2 · answered by hoosiergal0946 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have a court order where Dad can't see the kids then alas you MUST let him. Kids are pretty smart and will know if they don't already who does and doesn't care. Do NOT speak ill of dad to or in front of the children, just make sure you are always there for them and LOVE them ALL that you can. They ALWAYS learn the real truth!!!!
2006-12-12 05:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by SHERRI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't allow them any contact at all, they may make the mistake of thinking he NEVER cared vs. he cared for one time a year? Gosh, seems like it's a no-win situation either way. You be a strong woman and take care of them and this may be a hurdle you and your family can help your kids overcome, especially if they have an uncle or grand father in their lives that shows them how a good man takes care of his family. You obviously can't shelter them from the fact that their Dad is a deadbeat, so you have to help them cope and move on the best you can.
2006-12-12 05:32:39 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, the guys will always want the blame to fall on the Moms. Only the kids will figure out the truth and let you know about it as time progresses. So, you let them see him and keep your mouth shut about him completely when they ask about things regarding him. Just tell them that this is something they should find out themselves when the time comes. This will help your relationship with your kids as they get older, believe me.
2006-12-12 05:30:54 · answer #5 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people who critize you forget to first take a good hard look in the mirror. don't worry about them. i trully feel sad for you. and i know how it goes when you encounter a friend and you hear for the first time that your ex hasn't been around to see the kids lately because you won't let him get near them. that is just a sad excuse, they don't want to lose face in front of mutual friends. and you are right the amount of those two payments shouldn't matter, they are still his kids and should be sending the money weekly
2006-12-12 05:30:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot stop him from seeing his kids legally unless the custody order says so. plain and simple. take him back to court for child support arreages and have his wages garnished. i am sure that you want him to be a part of his children's lives and this will light a fire under his butt. unfortunately this is what women have to do in order to get the dead beat fathers to stand up to their emotional responsibility as a father. always go after his bank account. the less he sees them the more money your kids are entitled to.
2006-12-12 06:46:40 · answer #7 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like maybe he does fit the profile ,so just keep kicking his A** by reporting him for insufficient child support ,even though you don't care about the money ,the principle is that is part of his responsibility as a father,and if he doesn't respect that ,how is he going to respect visitation,do what is right for the children and their happiness.again Good luck and God Bless
2006-12-12 06:51:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you need a committment from him that he will be consistent or he doesn't get to see them. Jumping in and out of the kids lives is just going to stress them out and confuse them.
2006-12-12 05:27:27 · answer #9 · answered by slap_shot69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Visitation and child support is two seperate issues. Your best bet is to go into court and get a court order visitation...if he doesn't follow the court order visit then he loses out when you modify it.
2006-12-12 05:34:54 · answer #10 · answered by wyattj23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he calls or wants to see them, let him.....at least that way you can't be blamed for keeping him away from the kids later.
2006-12-12 05:27:17 · answer #11 · answered by celeste_moon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋