what do you think of dead beat dads that does not see their childern then say to others its the moms fault?

Question

a father that does't call to see his children, if he does call it is only on a holiday... do you or do you not let him see them?

Answer 1

If he isn't paying a single penny for child support and bad mouths the Mom and doesn't come see his kids accept for a few times a year, I would tell him to hit the road, and don't look back. He is obviously not being a good father, if he refuses to support his children, either financially or emotionally, or both. It will end up only hurting the kids in the end.

Answer 2

In some cases it can be more harmful for a child to see there dad. It depends on the child age too. and if the dad only comes around 1 time a year or less example 1 in every 2 or 3 yrs. Which I think that can be very harmful. But to take that dead beat dad 100% away is not good either. Always leave a window open for the child. So when the child gets older if they want to, they see or talk to there father. But when the child is little I believe its up to the parent to protect them. But there feelings are going to get lost from the dead beat dad anyway. That's were the other parent has to step in, in re sure the child that you love them and your never going to go away only if God wants me to. Theres a book to read easy reading found on internet or book stores its called stupid things parents do to mess up their kids by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger

Answer 3

first of all if he is trully a dead beat dad,there is nothing you can do about it,he will probably never change,but you can hope for the best,now I have seen dead beat dads before aqnd eventually the children will see through and know that he never tried,however there are circumstances where the two spouses have hurt each other so bad and severely that the initial trauma takes a while for the dad to be able to be with his children and enjoy them without involving them in his hurt that was inflicted,and then there are cases where every time the father comes around to see his children,the wife wants to hurt him and threatens to call the law,just to make a show for the audience that is conveinently around all the time,or due to brain washing the children have been involved and should not have been and now make up their minds that the father is a bad person because he is bashed openly by other adults infront of the children,why don't adults act like adults and keep these matters to them selves and become better allies for their children,the children didn't ask for this.have you tried writing a letter to your ex and explaining your feelings and concerns and send it certified mail so he has to sign for it.I hope I have not affended you in any way but thwere are many reasons for a father not seeing his children ,I'm not trying to stick up for all the fathers out there because everyones story is different but in my case I love my children very much, but for the sake of leaving them out of all the ugliness,distance is the best thing right now ,I have written them and tried to explain alot to them,I try calling frequently,but get no response or someone else answers the phone and lies about their where abouts.after a while a person just gets wore down and are ready to throw the towel in untill the smoke clears.I hope you find the answer you are looking for,Good Luck

Answer 4

6 little ones, 6 dads, 11 years. yet those adult males are the "deadbeats". this will be authentic yet i'd guess those adult males have self belief that to pay help would fund her for all the different deadbeats that could be in the journey that they actually have self belief that the newborn is in truth theirs. If there's a case for state triggered sterilization this will be it. That aside the question turns into, no matter if a guy who will pay some thing must be kept from his newborn. My answer is not any. I say that this lady desires to take a very demanding check out her situation and ask herself why she keeps having children with adult males who're no longer married to her and able to help them. to keep a father who probable needs to spend time consisting of his newborn is morally incorrect on an excellent type of stages. At a speedy exam it type of feels there's a question related to mom's morality in the first position.

Answer 5

Yes, he should be able to see the child. The kids will fault you if you keep them away from him, and even though they are not aware of the reasons involved. They will figure things out over time anyway, so don't give them a reason to despise you for not being around their dead beat Dads.

Answer 6

Sounds like my ex as well! It's your call ... personally, I think that parenting shouldn't just be when there's a special occasion. If he doesn't feel the need to be an active part of their lives day-to-day, he shouldn't be able to participate in the special times. It's hard since the kids are involved, though, because they probably want to see him ... maybe allow a couple hours here or there? Like I said, it's COMPLETELY up to you, though. If you're uncomfortable with your children seeing him, just tell your ex no. You don't need any more stress. Best of luck!

Answer 7

There is always 2 sides to a story. One must wonder why he is saying to others it's the mother's fault. Did a big argument happen during the divorce regarding visitation rights? Has the mother been over protective of her children because the father may have found someone new and does not wish for the children to meet this new person?

Answer 8

My daughters bio-dad is a jerk to say the least I haven't talked to him in 5 years (all his choice). I have been nothing but nice. Helives 900kms away. My girl went to visit his mother in the summer and she let me know he would be around. I said I didn't care if he saw her on the condition that he wsn't introduced as her father. I didn't think that would be fair to her.
I think that if I say he can't see her I look like that bad guy and I don't want my daughter to think I kept her bio-dad away or to blame me for him not being there for her. She'll figure that he's an asshole. She is 8. I don't think that it is my right to say he can't see her because he isn't a danger to her. So he just looks like more of a jerk. I love that.

Answer 9

I think that things have to change.

Men and children are being abused by women like you, that have to ask "if they should let him see them or not".

If you don't let him see them, one day your kids will hate you for pushing their father out of their lives by you taking the decision not to let them see them. Kids grow up, and pretty soon they will see things as they are, not as you told them they are.

If he doesn't see them it might be for many reasons like...

*He has 3 jobs to pay the child support for your kids and your alimony, and lives on ramen soup every other day. He might not have enough money for gas, or enough money to give your kids pizza or a movie and he feels bad about that.

*Probably it is just drama, drama, drama when he actually picks up/ returns your kids, or when he calls. He's avoiding YOU, not them. It is YOU who he cannot stand, not his children.

So, yes, it is probably your fault, and he has the right to say it to whoever he wants.

BTW, I am a woman, I have no children of my own, but my husband has not one but TWO psychotic women in his past that feel ever so especial because they popped kids.

He loves his children dearly, and he works really hard for them. But still those women do not respect the court order visitation.

I have have talked to other couples in our situation, and the problem seems to be widespread.

I feel so sorry for those children, as they are missing a wonderful father who loves them, and have to hear all the poison coming out of their mother's mouth against the father.

One day those women will pay for it dearly, as pretty soon they will be old enough to understand that most of what they know about their father is nothing but lies, exageration and a one sided story.

Answer 10

I think they're trying to transfer the blame to the mother instead of admitting that they're a loser, take away the guilt that they're not supporting their kid.

I think it's a strong woman who would bite her tongue and let the kids see the dad, if the kids want to see dad. If they don't and she feels she's doing what's best for the kids, and what they're comfortable with, by not letting them see him, let him take her to court.

Yeah, he might have legal rights to see them, but I wouldn't even set the kids up for heartbreak by telling them he's coming if he continually breaks his promises of showing up.