I have been with my husband for 5 years and it has not been a bowl of cherries let me tell you. My husband is a drunk and he when he is under the influance he tends to call me names and be verbaly abusive. I love my husband with all of my heart we have two wonderful children together and I truly love him we have been thorugh so much. I cant live without him.. But in the past couple of months i have not want to have sex with him at all i hate it when he touches me in that way it literally makes me sick to my stomach. So here is the question...This man approched me and started to talk to me and i see him around occasonaley. And i find myself really attracted to him. I get butterflies in my gut when hes around, and i know that hes interested in me because he has told me that he wants me and i started to think that i want him back. He is my friends boyfriend and me. my husband, and him, and my friend all hang out. this is the situation and i dont know what to do.
2006-12-12 04:54:47 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DUMP YOUR HUSBAND NOW before he beats the crap out of you!
and I'm sure the guy you have butterfly for is just as bad! so don't date him either! Wait at LEAST A YEAR before you try again.
Trust me! been there done that! got beaten TWICE!
SJS
2006-12-12 04:59:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, ask yourself what this other person is doing for you that your husband isn't. Then ask yourself if getting that item is worth giving up all you have. Above all, don't break the trust of your marriage by sleeping with this person- the pain it will cause is not worth anything you will get from it AND think about the person that would be willing to sleep with you while you are married... what makes you think if they don't respect your marriage that they even have the ability to respect marriage (or any relationship) with anyone if it happened with you in the future? If you love your husband, get into counseling and try to get some of the issues dealt with. Obviously you can't do it on your own, but if he'll go, then you have a chance- if he won't, then you need to so that when it is time to leave your marriage, you can do it in a healthy way that you will have no regrets about.
2006-12-12 13:19:45 · answer #2 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One: You are an abused wife. No doubt about that.
Two: Are you a fireman by trade? because if so you're playing with fire and will be burned. Badly.
Know that what you feel is a combination of wanting, the need for a human touch and lust. The things that have been missing in your life. To begin with, despite the fact this guy is your husband's pal he's pretty sleazy trying to work his way into your panties. That is what's happening you know. He sees you at a very weak and susceptible period in your relationship. You're starved for the attention and affection right now. What better way for a guy to get laid then to strike while you're at your weakest? Men do this you know. Pretty devious, don't you think?
You mark my words on this. If you go forward with this and let this run the course that it looks to be going you're going to regret this, mark me on this.
Do not let your emotions get the better of you. You are being taken advantage of and don't even know it. plus...you think that this guy won't say something to someone else about you and he screwing around? Then if a divorce occurs he has much better grounds than you. Maybe even get the kids included in the parcel. And you? After you put out for his pal? You'll be shunted to the side like an old cabosse in a railyard. He won't have anything to do with you.
So...think long and hard about this. The consequences are very serious. They outweight any good points at this juncture. So good luck and walk carefully.
2006-12-12 13:06:06 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont touch him with a 10 foot pole . If you think about it , its the same as actually doing it . The reason your husband is making you feel sick to your stomach is because you are interested in the other guy .Make your husband go and get help with his drinking . If he shows you that he is trying to make things better then your feelings for him may come back. Remember the grass is not greener on the other side!
2006-12-12 13:42:52 · answer #4 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! You must stay away from the man he is BAD news. He is just horny how could you respect a man that would go after someone else’s wife. That just shows what kind of charater he has. He is a LOSER! Work it out with your husband do and say anything to make him change, but do not have an affair this is the worst thing you can do to your marriage.
2006-12-12 13:08:43 · answer #5 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course your marriage is over. You get sick to your stomach whenever your husband tries to touch you and you are wishing for another man. You do know what to do, but you don't want to feel guilty for doing it. You need to leave your husband before moving forward with this other man. You claimed that you still love your husband, but there is no way that you can if you are thinking about another man putting his hands on you. I wish you the best of luck here, however your marriage is already over and you need to make this known to your husband. Thank you.
2006-12-12 13:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, stay away from the other guy!! You are married, and he is going out with your friend! BAD NEWS!!!
However, the fact that your husband is a drunk and you are no longer attracted to him is a serious problem. He needs to get help! You don't want your children being raised in that environment!!
Having an affair will solve nothing! You will only feel guilty, and you risk losing your self respect and the respect of your children. If you feel like your marriage is hopless, you need to get out of it. Then, and only then, can you move on with your life and be with another man.
2006-12-12 13:02:13 · answer #7 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all your husband isn't much of a husband if he treats you this way so you should find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Second, this other guy isn't much either or he wouldn't be messing around with you while going out with your friend. You need to get a divorce and a third man.
2006-12-12 15:34:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is like a lamp. When the power is unplugged it will not work. Love is the power of any relationship. One first has to love themselves in order to love another person and once you love yourself then another person then you can love the marriage. Your husband has a block to loving himself. Your marriage was over before it began. You also have a block to loving yourself or you would not allow yourself to be treated without love. Your children are learning not to love themselves and you are all living in false ideas of caring for one another which will wreck havoc on any and all relationships you intend to have. You do not leave your husband for the new guy, you leave him because you need to learn to love yourself and hold yourself accountable to learning this with your children so that you all reach strength together. Your husband as each of us can only make this decision for himself, if he is unwilling then you should make the responsibilty to teach your kids how to love themselves, others and the relationships they come into. You can leave a relationship without guilt if you know you did it out of love.
2006-12-12 13:13:12 · answer #9 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all forget that other guy,,,he just wants to have a lil good time with you...so you dont wanna ruin your marriage for such lil thing.
YOu tell us that you love your husband and then on the other hand you hate it when he touches you?what kind of love is this?you even said you cant live without him,,and that you both have gone through lot of things.....means you and him make a good couple who stick together even through bad times.
you should talk to you husband and make it clear that you dont like it when he is druck and that its ruining your relationship. you also have to think about your kids.
Dont let it go easily, try to resolve it.
2006-12-12 13:22:22 · answer #10 · answered by jinie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, hon, deal with your husband and your marriage. Read some of my stuff on what a marriage is. Then decide if you have one (a marriage, that is) , and wish to go on. If yes, get some counseling. If not, get out. Don't lower yourself you an affair,,,,, you have noooo idea how sick indeed you will be to your stomach if you betray your marriage. Better to end it.
Afte you do some reading, if you wish, write, I'll try to answer your questions.
2006-12-12 15:20:56 · answer #11 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋