I have always run into this. I'm fashionable, clean-cut, educated and also happen to be 100% straight. Why am I automatically pegged as gay? I ask the people who think this and the responses are always: "You're too good to be true." or "Straight guys don't have your sensitivity."
It doesn't even seem to matter that I have a daughter and have had all straight relationships.
Any insights?
2006-12-12 04:43:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
*NOTE* I was also a military policeman for years and hold myself in a very secure and masculine manner. Other than a lack of interest in sports, I could not name one mannerism I have that's "girly" so much as "gentlemanly"
2006-12-12 05:03:43 · update #1
because, unfortunately, there are so many guys that are jerks or wanna be players that when a nice guy or an actual gentleman comes around we don't know what to think.
a friend of mine has this same problem. he's a nice guy, considerate, well read, caring, and listens when you talk to him. He's even capable of carrying on a conversation! All the things women should look for in a man. But he's had the worst luck in relationships. He's such a good guy, and girls treat him like crap.
I think it's because so many girls want the "bad boy". They like the drama that comes with cheating boyfriends and fighting.
Don't give up and don't settle. I'm tired of seeing girls like that ruin good guys. And that's just what happens. After being dumped a couple times the nice guy turns into a jerk because you guys get the impression that's what girls want. Know there is something wrong with girls who don't want a guy who will treat them with respect and be able to carry on an intelligent conversation, now and then. Keep searching for a girl who'll appreciate you for being such a great guy.
2006-12-12 05:06:37 · answer #1 · answered by Jenna 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may have effiminate tendencies. Males usually have a slight "lack of care" to their demeanor. That's what gives them their dominance. To be a Gentlemen means to be polite. Being polite means making people most comfortable in your prescence. Niether are that which modern day males portray. But to really identify with this definition you'll find that it isn't usual in a machismo male persona that one finds particulate attention to fashion or over inclusive hygiene sense, not to mention opinions of others towards them. Thus going overboard with either three would seem a bit peculiar to the eye of a bystander, not used to such behavior. Occassionally, you should include a bit of assertiveness into your entourage. Dominance should detour these accusations. The reason they blame you is because this behavior is extremely rare in this society recently. Gentlemen are a dying breed. I'd go over your mannerisms in a mirror to make sure that your correct posture doesn't seem very feminine or that your voice doesn't give off female sounding vocals. Be as objective as possible. Try not to delude yourself as though you are what you see yourself to be, try to see it from a 3rd person perspective without your own opinion on the matter being included. I believe you'll be well off when you do this. Usually the assertiveness you portray in your gentlemanly behavior will detour most of the unwanted opinion from upon you. The remaining assertiveness and dominance will allow you to insist upon them discontinuing their association of you behaving as though a homosexual. To really seem as though a true male, you shouldn't dress, too fashionably or care much outwardly of your appearance to the eyes of others. The posture of yourself and the vocals you possess are the main factors of thinking whether or not someone is homosexual, with one's behavior tying for 3rd. Fix these three and you can have no inquisition against you.
2006-12-12 04:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by Answerer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend like that. Just a kind guy, fashionable, open-minded, funny, etc., etc.
I think the red-neck factor that you're encountering is just jealousy.
You might have to do some soul searching into this because what we attract into our lives isn't just a function others, there's always something about ourselves.
You might want to take some of your ideas to the test by Byron Katie's "the work" process of questioning. Check it out: www.thework.com
BTW, I'm a straight guy.
Basically people end up blaming others for what they themselves think about themselves. It sounds like you're meeting a bunch of guys who are afraid of their own sexuality.
Such is the life of dumb-asses.
2006-12-12 04:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The flavor of the month for many women now is the "thug" type. Whether or not the man truly is, if he dresses, behaves, and carries himself like one, the women think they have a gold mine. I am not putting that down. You like what you like. But it does stigmatize men who are just clean cut and shaven because, as you say, yall are seen as gay.
Keep trying, your soulmate is out there and when you find her, you will definitely realize it was worth all of the trouble you went through.
2006-12-12 06:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess the "caveman" image comes to mind when it comes to being a straight man!-ha! Most men I know that are sensitive are not really attractive; the men that are attractive are usually stuck on themselves. It's rare to find both qualities in a straight man.
Plus, you having a daughter and being in strainght relationships does not matter when it comes to defining your straight manhood.Have you ever heard of "stepping out of the closet"? There have been gay men that had the same family/dating senerio and they "stepped out of the closet"!
2006-12-12 05:03:34 · answer #5 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
people sometimes have a messed up view of what a man "should" be like.. around where I live if you don't act like a cowboy and talk with a hick accent you're thought of as gay..
2006-12-12 04:52:18 · answer #6 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most straight men aren't fashionable. Most are jerks. Most are slobs. I guess your an exception.
2006-12-12 04:55:09 · answer #7 · answered by I scream for ICE CREAM!! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SOrry but gay men are superior to straight ones because of this...Just tell them that you're straight, that's all......
2006-12-12 04:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I suppose jealousy make people say bad things.
2006-12-12 04:52:04 · answer #9 · answered by Gmtstnm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its simply because there are too many closed minded people out there who are so quick to judge and stereotype. Please dont let that get to you and stay the way you are! :)
2006-12-12 04:56:24 · answer #10 · answered by tulips♥77 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋