Can you check this essy?

Question

This people don’t exist. I have invented all facts entirely.

Michael Pierreria was born in France in 1872. My people think that he is one of the most inportant artists of the world. His father, Pablo Pierreria, was the musican and he desired to son stay musican and composer, too. He produced his most famous work, “Symphony for Mary”, in 1888. He show it in Italy next year. His music was wery shocked and people realy didn’t like it. His adventure with music begun when he was five years. From 1883 lived in Rome, where he composed music. In 1889 he maried with Eleonora Sanit. It was short and unhappy relationship. In 1920 he compose music for popular movie. It was the last work, because he died in 1921 on tuberculosis. After he died, his music has been forgotten for 50 years!

Answer 1

First of all, Pierreria sounds Italian, not French. Try a French name such as Blanc, Devereaux, Villier, something like that. You can probably look up a name. First sentence otherwise ok.

"My people" Who are your people and what do they have to do with the story. Maybe you should put Many people...

Third sentence, "His father...the musician" a musician. (who is the musician).

Third sentence, "desired to son stay musician" desired for his son to become a musician and composer as well.

Sentence 4 ok.

Sentence 5, He performed in Italy the following year.

Sentence 6, Many people did not like the music because it was shocking and ahead of it's time.

Sentence7, The love he has for music began in his 5th year.

Sentence 8, He lived in Rome, Italy in 1883 where he composed music.

Sent. 9, It was there he married Eleonora Sanit (try an Italian name like Giovanna Cirelli).

Sent. 10, This was a brief and mutually unhappy relationship. In 1920 he composeD (forgot the D) music for a popular movie. (they didn't have any talking movies until the 1930s) Say a stage production or something, cmon now.

It was HIS last work, because he died in 1921 (before talking movies) OF Tuberculosis. After his DEATH, his music was forgotten for over 50 years!

Answer 2

You use a few too many commas, I take it English is not your first language? Well I corrected this passage for you and made it sound a little better.

"Michael Pierreria was born in France in 1872. My people (who are your people? This makes no sense.) think that he is one of the most important artists of the world. His father Pablo Pierreria was also a musician and wanted his son to follow in his footsteps. Michael Pierreria produced his most famous work, “Symphony for Mary”, in 1888. He released it in Italy next year. His music was shocking and was not well recieved. His adventure with music begun when he was five years. From 1883 he lived in Rome where he composed music. In 1889 he married Eleonora Sanit. It was a short and unhappy relationship. In 1920 he composed music for a popular movie. It was his last work as he died in 1921 from tuberculosis. His music remained forgotten for fifty years after his death (until...?)

Answer 3

sounds believable but the grammar might need some work try running it through a spell checker and it will help you get the correct working to help it flow and sound professional.

Answer 4

That is a very short essay. it sounds good, but i think you mite need to write a little bit more