my mom and dad are divorcing...my dad is bein an ******...like a huge one...i already have a rage problem and a depression problem...i just recently been put on a anti depressent...i cant keep a bf..and my doctor told me that i should try and get one to have some stablitlity in mylife...but i have had 11 bfs in the last month and a half...my doctor told me that i have to start seein a shrink...so told me i need to work on my problems..i dont know how...theres not a moment in my life for just me ne more...its always drama drama drama...what in the heck do i do!?!?!?
2006-12-12 04:18:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
how the heck is it my fault?!?!?!....and ive tried sittin down with them apart and tellin them...but they only see themselves...my mom is doin me better...but i have to live with my dad...because of where i go to skool..and where i work..and we fight all the time..and hes only wanting me there so he dont have to pay childsupport...he rather have my lil sister livin with him...he has never loved me..and has told me that...
2006-12-12 04:29:01 · update #1
Hello.
Take a look at yourself, Are you causing drama?
What are you actions when something happens.
Do you get mad all the time?
You may need to talk to your parents and ask them to have a family meeting and discuss topics that are bothering you, if they choose to divorce, its their problems not yours, just know that they both love you.
Stop worrying about things you can't change, that is what most ppl stress over, if something happend and you cant change, then let it go, just relax and think about positive things, dont let the negative things influence your mood and actions.
2006-12-12 04:30:47 · answer #1 · answered by Jay 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, the first thing I would say is to see someone about your problems. Really it sounds like your parents need to see someone if they are behaving like they are. I know from experience that it can suck being in the middle of all of this. I think you should consider staying with who ever will be able to take care of/treat you the best. You should make time for yourself too. 11 bf's in the last months and a half sounds like a lot. I don't think you need a boyfriend to have stability, you just need something that will keep you grounded and guys are not always the best source for that. Have you thought about getting a hobby? Not anything extreme, but something you can do that is all to yourself and that will give you some control. I think your parents need some help because they should be thinking about what's best for you and your sister, not all the technical stuff. I guess you could try and stay out of it and I mean by not getting into all the drama between your parents. Another good thing is to keep a journal or diary about what's going on. This can help see what is really bothering you and it will help you get out everything you are feeling.
2006-12-12 05:28:34 · answer #2 · answered by angelicasongs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents got divorced too, but you know what? You shouldn't care about that. They are adults, they have the right to be happy. They have the right to either be alone, or fall in love again, and certainly your feelings shouldn't come in the equation because happiness is a personal choice. It is your turn to be happy regardless of the situation.
If you old enough for "boyfriends" (Wow a new one every other day!), then that means that your parents have put up with each other long enough. Let them be happy.
Take your responsability of being happy. You don't want drama? It's easy, don't get it! Stay away from "boyfriends" (particularly when you change them more often than what some people wash their hair). Happiness is NEVER outside, it is within yourself. No man will make you happy. You make yourself happy.
Exercise, get a hobby, have some accomplishment of your own, work, study hard, and let your parents be happy. Don't get in the middle. If they are fighting, get out, go for a walk. (i've been there, and done that. It is hard, it hurts, but you know what? the more you do it, the easier it gets) As the other poster said, don't let them badmouth each other in front of you. Learn to have an individual relationship with each of them, don't take parties, and don't believe everything you hear.
When you feel depressed, put a smile on your face. It will be fake and forced, but after a while, your brain will switch, and you'll feel better. Don't throw yourself pity parties. That's the worst thing you can do.
If you exercise, and take a multivitamin, and let your parents do what they have to do, without taking it personal (please believe me, it is NONE of your business), and try to find a sense of pride in yourself and what you do, you will NOT need any stupid pill to stop being depressed.
Of course, DON'T stop your medication on your own, but you have to work for your own happines. Happiness doesn't come in an orange bottle with a child proof lid.
The sooner you are off those pills the better for you. Your OWN brain has to produce those substances. If your body detects the substances, what little of it was being produced on your own will stop, then you will really depend on those things. It is NOT good.
I am sorry if I sound harsh, but I have been in your position, and I wish someone had slapped me some reality when this was happening to me.
Pity party is over! Now go and fake your smile until it becomes sincere. It won't be long. I promise.
2006-12-12 04:49:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, i wanted to say that before you get a "bf", you need to focus on yourself and get your life back on track. You can also start a relationship later with a special someone. Focusing first on making your life more stable will help you keep a stable, lasting, loving relationship in the future.
Seems like you may have a good relationship with your mom considering you didn't mention her. Go talk with her. Tell her whats really on your mind. Talking does help because right now, your outlets is rage and depression and talking does help relieve tension and anxieties. Remember that your dad and mom too are dealing with a life changing situation. They too find themselves trying to cope and make things work. They are frustrated, confused, worried etc. Bottom line is you're their daughter, they do love you. All three of you need to talk about things, about feelings, about what can the three of you can do to make such a difficult time in your lives easier. Not sure if you have siblings, but think of them too, they too are going thru alot and they need support from everyone involved. I sincerely wish you the best. Take care of yourself and hold your head up high....why? because you are a very special person and just for asking for help shows that you want help and that's a start. :)..smile..youre thought of by me in California.
2006-12-12 04:44:19 · answer #4 · answered by ~~PoEt~~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been through my parents' marriage crisis myself. My dad was being a bit of an ***, and my mom was really depressed. When I got over my own depression, I told my dad to consider his priorities, and tried to comfort my mom, and eventually they got back together again. It's still a bit tense every now and then but the situation's under control now.
I think what you can do is to try to calm yourself down. Your parents' marriage problems are not your fault. Also, don't stress too much over relationship problems, you'll eventually find the right one. Your life may seem like a mess now, but several years later when you look back, you'll see that your major problem was not really so major. If you feel like you're in a rut, try to do something that you like to distract yourself until you feel calmer. Once you're able to think calmly, you can look at the problems again and see if you have any ideas how to solve them.
2006-12-12 04:35:49 · answer #5 · answered by Kaela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through this so believe me I know what you are talking about.
The most important thing to do is not to let the one person talk **** about the other person. If you father tells you something about your mother stop him right in his tracks, and vice versa. Tell him or her that you don't care what they think that that person is your parent and you love them both.
This is the hardest thing I have EVER gone through, but your best bet is to take it one day at a time and don't take sides, no matter what. Remember, they are your parents.
2006-12-12 04:27:56 · answer #6 · answered by Athera78 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep in your mind that somehow you are still fortunate to have/seen your family together compare to those not at all. you know what i had the same problem like yours, it so hard at first but time can heal all wounds and that's what happened to me..and guess what i am telling to myself now, "if my mom and my dad didn't separate i would not have this very happy life that i have right now and i can say that i am strong...and guess what a lot of people envy me and you know those people who envy me? those people who have an intact family but having a family crisis..LOL! God would not give us a problem that we cannot handle. :) u see i have a lot of defense mechanism and those are just few of them.
2006-12-12 04:29:38 · answer #7 · answered by sassygurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your parents forgot what is important in life. Try sitting them down individually and telling them your feelings. They have to be reminded that the welfare of their children come first. Since their relationship failed, ask them what they could tell you so you don't make the same mistakes.
2006-12-12 04:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well always remember that nomatter what happens it's not your fault that they are divorcing. Parents do these things. Just See If they can hold until christmas if not then like i said it's not your fault.
2006-12-12 04:40:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i don't really know because my mom and dad never had an dovcer. well said i want to be with my mom or dad
2006-12-12 05:06:06 · answer #10 · answered by Charmell J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋