Would it trouble you if your current Mother in law called you by your husband’s ex-wife’s name?

Question

It hurts me greatly.

Particularly when we know how much the two of them talk with one another. In fact, his mother has demonstrated to be a hindrance in much custody issues. And has been behind many arguments between the ex-wife, my husband and myself. You would think she would be on her son’s side, obviously she is not.

Yet my Mother in law will admit that her former Daughter in law is an irrational, and manipulative person that can not be trusted. Along with recognizing her former Daughter in law adulterous relationships she had during the marriage to her son.

It hurts me greatly.

Particularly when we know how much the two of them talk with one another. In fact, his mother has demonstrated to be a hindrance in much custody issues. And has been behind many arguments between the ex-wife, my husband and myself. You would think she would be on her son’s side, obviously she is not.

Yet my Mother in law will admit that her former Daughter in law is an irrational, and manipulative person that can not be trusted. Along with recognizing her former Daughter in law adulterous relationships she had during the marriage to her son.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ex-wife_ex-life/

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Answer 1

You can hope that the reason she called you that is because she is so used to saying "Tom and Mary." If she continues to cause trouble than have your husband deal with it. It is better if he handles the problems with your family and you and your husband appear to be a united front to your MIL and his ex. If she does it again try and be ready with some "cute" but not rude response. Like "Who is Donna?" and laugh. Anything to make it sound like it doesn't bother you. You don't want to let her know it gets under your skin just in case that is part of the appeal for her.

Answer 2

Good that you may have your husband speak to her, although judging from what you wrote it looks as if he already did. The next logical thing to do is simply without difficulty ask her yourself. Who knows she simply would no longer such as you and now not have any cause at fascinated with doing so, or she would have had a misunderstanding with you and has built her relationship with you on a false impression, akin to mishearing or misinterpreting some thing you stated. Should you find that you can't attain some decision with her and you still feel unhealthy about your husband now not talking to her then persuade him to do so. Simply maybe no longer with you round. She is also a mean character but she's nonetheless his mother.

Answer 3

yes you have every right to be upset and next time she does it call her by someone else's name . Then make like you are sorry for doing it but dont really be then maybe she will get the picture okay. My ex mom in law did the same thing to me and then she looked at me and said who the hell is that? And I said oh that was my first mom in law;s name ,you remind me of her i think she was one of the reasons i got a divorce. Then maybe she will get the picture okay . good luck and god bless and happy holidays.

Answer 4

This woman got between your husband and his first wife do not let her get between you and your husband whatever she calls you answer yes, have no discussions with her on you and your husband's personal, for a Xmas gift you can get her subscription to something that will keep her busy for the whole of next year.

Answer 5

I would be pissed off. I too am having issues with my Mother-in-law (see my screen name!) But I would just limit contact with her until the air is clear and be sure to correct her any and every time that she calls you out of your name. I hate to think it, but sometimes I really think that they're just being spiteful. Good luck!

Answer 6

That happened to me at a family dinner once, only it was my husband that called me his ex's name, purely from an old habit. I laughed and said ... WHO am I???? Everyone heard it. Just remind her clearly and soon she'll look rather foolish for "not remembering." If that doesn't get it thru her head, try calling her some goofy name - I know that's not nice, but if push comes to shove and she can't remember your name, give her a taste of her own medicine. I'll bet she'll stop to "think" henceforth!

Answer 7

Hell Yeah That's Fighting Words

Answer 8

If she is doing it on puprose. Yes, reason to be upset. Sounds like she is, but could be an honest mistake if she frequently talks to the ex.

Answer 9

That must be very difficult to deal with. Try not to let her have the power to make you upset. Accept the situation and dont let it hinder your positive personality.

Answer 10

She sounds just as manipulative as the Ex! Make sure your husband knows you feel VERY strongly about the situation. He will only get mad if you say something to her so make sure he gets your point across to his mother.