some really awful things to me. Saying I was a bad mother, bad friend, bad student. They said I was a liar and a manipulator. That I bring absolutely nothing to my relationships. This coming from a man who is a felon with a heroin addiction!! My biggest problem is that it is hard to distance myself from them because we have a lot of close, mutual friends. I get left out of a lot of things now. And our mutual friends have done nothing really to defend me. How can I deal with this? I hate that my friends would not tell them where to go after all the things they said. I hate that someone I was such good friends with could allow her husband to just ream me out. I just do not know what to do? Should I distance myself from everybody? Should I keep my mouth shut and wait for it to end? What? Please help.
2006-12-12 03:59:19 · 10 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Maybe distancing yourself from those people for a while is the best bet until it all smoothes over and some is forgotten. I'm sure that your mutual friends just don't want to cause themselves conflict with the husband and wife (especially if they know what a bastard he is when it comes to "REAMING" people out). I would just lay low for a while and see what happens. If your friends don't eventually ask you how you are and whats up, maybe you should re-evaluate who you consider your friends. I had a girl I eventually had to ditch after about 9 years of "friendship" because all she did was drag me down. Just because someone is a friend for a long time, doesn't make them a GOOD friend...
2006-12-12 04:07:48 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They both need to grow up and move on. The Ex needs to let go and the wife needs to deal with it. She knew what she was getting into when she met him, if she could not handle it then, she needs to move on now! My husband and I have been together for 11 years and he has no kids with anyone else, however I am friends with his ex girlfriends. I choose to be the better and bigger person by putting the past behind me. Your friend needs to do the same. The ex is going to be a part of all of thier lives, like it or not. She has kids with the man and has a right to be in the picture. Your friend needs to put her feelings aside, no matter how awful the ex can be. She needs to be the bigger person and no stoop as low as the ex. Maybe your friend should think about asking the ex for coffee and the two women need to sit down as adults and relize they too are a part of each other's lives. They need to be good role models for the kids as well. Myabe the husband is sick of the fighting!!
2016-03-29 04:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by Diane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the things that he said were untrue then I certainly would not distance myself from anyone other than him. If he is a heroin addict and a felon then who the hell is he to down anyone? It is sad that your mutual friends as well as his wife would not defend you however they may have not done so because they do not want any backlashing from him. Maybe they are just not as good of friends as you thought. You may want to find other companions to hang around where the atmosphere is a positive one...no one deserves verbal abuse if the statements are not true.
2006-12-12 04:04:49 · answer #3 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your "friends" (and not just the addict and his wife) aren't really friends. I think it's time to focus on you. Worry about being a good parent to your kids and finishing school. You will find better friends who aren't so focused on your "faults" but rather focussed on what a good person you are. That's what friends are supposed to do.
2006-12-12 04:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by Paige A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should distance yourself. Your friend clearly has issues living with an herion addict. What kind of friends do you have anyways?
2006-12-12 04:01:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk calmly to your friend of many years and her husband in a restaurant if u can.if u do go to a restaurant go to one where there is plenty of people.ask them why do they believe that u are all those horrible things.remember not to get mad.then say youre sorry.also rember this it should help"Make Love NOT Hate".
2006-12-12 04:11:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have now learned who your friends really are and what they really value... and it isn't you. It's time to make some new ones and leave these spineless, valueless twits in their own little world.
2006-12-12 04:02:50 · answer #7 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just wait for the right time for the issue to die down and still make friends with her... you dont need to be friends with her husband you know... just talk to as civilized as you can...
2006-12-12 04:17:13 · answer #8 · answered by Raine Ssshhh... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should distant your self from ever one for a while, so they can know how much they are hurting you.
2006-12-12 04:03:51 · answer #9 · answered by wenwen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find TRUE FRIENDS.
2006-12-12 04:05:48 · answer #10 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋