I left my daughter's father almost 5 years ago B/C he had a drug problem and still does, and his family hates me..why? I told his mother I left him cause I didn't want to tell her that I found her son dead in a hotel from getting high on drugs..and they hate my gutss, they treat me as if I have the drug problem, dah its not me its him so why hate me? His mother picks up my daughter every now and then and she gives me an attitude when she drops her off why does that lady hate me so much? I was with her son 4 years and took care of him and I just couldnt do it anymore..it was to much and I know what I did by letting him go was the right thing so what is her problem? how can I deal with this?
2006-12-12 03:55:54 · 19 answers · asked by Wendy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would guess guilt has something to do with it. That and if she believes you then she has to admit her son is a drughead.
You need to be able to ignore what they think. They are not a "real" part of your life, you only have to see them occasionally. Get your self esteem from yourself and those around you that know the real you.
There is nothing you can do to change their minds of you, so you will need to be able to move past this.
Good luck
2006-12-12 04:01:37 · answer #1 · answered by Ticia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is frustrated that her son turned out to be druggy loser. She is guilty of this deep down as if it is her fault, but instead of coming to grips and blaming her son, she loves her son and therefor over looks his faults and expects you to love him just as she does - accepting him even though he is a druggy loser.
She then feels you never really loved him - but she if flawed because she facilitates his drug habit by ignoring his drug problem.
It is easier to hate than to love. And it is easier to hate an in-law than a family member - even if the family member is the one in the wrong.
I would take solace in that you did what was best for you and your daughter. I hope it was a wake up call for him and that he quits doing drugs :) If he didn't then that should be further validation that it was the right thing to leave him.
2006-12-12 04:03:17 · answer #2 · answered by Christopher McGregor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the girl that said she's in denial about her son. don't let her bother you it's not even worth it. and yes, you did the right thing leaving him, and keeping your kid away from a father that's on drugs. this situation makes the mother in law look bad, so instead of taking responsibility and being mature she's holding a grudge against you because it's so much easier to blame and hate others than it is to be responsible and deal with issues and feelings. thank your heavens you left, keep your kid as far away as you can from their attitude. good luck and happy holidays
2006-12-12 04:02:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to be understanding. there is no way that his family didn't have some kind of clue that he had a drug problem. They probably suspect what happened. just know that they are probably going through a lot of pain and denial, and the only person they have to take it out on is you. Match hate with kindness and love. They will come around.
2006-12-12 04:02:25 · answer #4 · answered by Christina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His family doesn't want to admit that he has a problem. If his mom admits he has a problem, then that might mean she is a bad mom. She likely feels guilty. And let's face it, their lives were easier when you were there to take care of him and they didn't have to.
Hold your head up high, knowing you did the right thing. If the woman starts being destructive with your daughter, badmouthing you and such, then end the visits.
2006-12-12 04:00:55 · answer #5 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep being nice to her. Youa re a Mother it is easy to see that this woman is in denial about her child. However your child needs a good grandmother. Just keep being nice the rose colored glasses have to come off sooner or later.
2006-12-12 03:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's their problem. you did the right thing. you need to protect your child from the negative exposure of your ex's drug habit. the important thing is these people have relations with your daughter. these people are closed minded and cant see beyond this.
2006-12-12 04:01:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you allow people who hate you to have access to your child?
They will, I'm sure, try to spread their hatred to your daughter.
Tell your mother-in-law, very frankly, and out of earshot of your daughter, that you are no longer interested in having contact with people who clearly despise you, nor do you want them to have contact with your child.
Suggest that if they want to work this out, they join you in counseling. Otherwise, stick to your guns and keep them away from you and your daughter.
Good luck!
2006-12-12 04:02:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't hate you but they do resent you because now the problem (your ex) is theirs, not yours. Just be the best mother you can and things will work themselves out eventually. Good Luck.
2006-12-12 04:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by bren63 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some mother's don't want to hear anything bad about their son's, even though they know the truth. she hates u because u are a reminder her son is a failure, that she refuses to see, as it may be a reflection on her.
2006-12-12 04:32:27 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋