I know a single mother aged 30 with two children 6 & 7. She is a good mother but has little money and despairs of her situation.
After meeting a boy and 3 month relationship, out of the blue, the boy proposes marrige and she accepts, the marrige is Aug 2007.
The boy is 24 and in the army on a low wage, no experience of fatherhood or providing for a family. He is likly to be moved around quite a lot though they might get an Army house.
My question is have they got engaged too soon? Is this boy just too young & inexperienced? Are they both desperate and infatuated? Whats the likley outcome?
2006-12-12 03:45:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, I've been in the military and seen people get married after 4 weeks, surprising, they are still together years later. on the other hand, may do it so that they can take advantage of all the benefits, like housing, marriage pay, BAS pay, conrats, and they get paid for the amount of kids they have as well. So his pay will increase and they both will be living rent free which isn't a bad idea if they really love one another. If not, one will cheat, probably with the neighbor.
2006-12-12 03:51:30 · answer #1 · answered by The Answer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only speak from my experience. I was 19 at the time and my husband was 21. I knew him for 3 mths before we go married. He in the Marines and I just got out of the Army. Now mind you we didn't have any kids yet. It can easily work out and who knows he might not stay in the Army all that long. Most people are only doing there time and then getting out. If the wedding isn't for another 8 mths I wouldn't worry about it. A lot can happen in that time. You can be engaged for a long time and have it work out or not work out. So being engaged isn't that big of a thing anymore. Any man can be a father but it takes a real man to be a daddy. He is capable of being a father no matter how old he is. Once he is married his benefits go up. He will get BAH and what not and the kids will have full medical.
2006-12-12 03:51:03 · answer #2 · answered by Lurinda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as your questions, yes to all of the above, but they could fool everyone! Time will tell for sure.
Many times single mothers or single women for that matter will marry for convenience and/or out of desparation. Sometimes that "light at the end of the tunnel" is false and ends up much worse.
Not me! I wouldn't want some of the things that can come with that which could be much worse sometimes. I hope they get to know each other better first. Single parents can make it! I know first hand.
2006-12-12 03:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by rugbee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe she could have him move in with her for a while, or just come over alot so he can see if he really is ready to deal with all the responsiblites of family life. Army life is good, if they live on base, they dont have to pay rent and all that, plus base life seems much nicer, more protected. Look it up on the internet, they might move alot but where ever they go they dont really have to worry about finding a schools or ne thing cuz its all on base, u can go off base if you want. His pay should rise if he gets married, look that up too. its all on the internet, u can even look up bases.
2006-12-12 03:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by corrick_1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say. I know people who got engaged after knowing each other for one week. They have been happily married for years and have children. My and my (now) husband moved in together after 3 months and we have been married for years.
So the length of time before the engagement doesn't really predict much. If they are committed to making the marriage work, then I say good for them. If she's getting married just to be married, they are probably in for some rough times ahead.
2006-12-12 03:49:59 · answer #5 · answered by leaptad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds like a family member i know...my niece was 29 and he was 19 ,,she has three kids and this guys was going to the Navy ,,before he went they got married and that was 2 months prior,,,now they have been happily married for 4yrs and ,,He really matured in the military,,,so, there is nothing wrong with your friend ,,he's old enough to do what feels right to him,,,,the outcome will be good you'll see,,,,!
2006-12-12 03:53:28 · answer #6 · answered by guess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The boy may be in love. For the lady it may be need based. Any way as she is a good mother she must be a good human being. The boy may be too attached to his mother and may be expecting motherly love. They may be happy together. You never know.
2006-12-12 03:53:46 · answer #7 · answered by rams 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time will tell. This is their life and not yours. The best thing that you can do as her friend is be there for her, no matter what the outcome. If you tell her that you think that this is a bad idea and voice negativity you could lose her as a friend. Be her friend and offer your opinion only if she asks for it.
2006-12-12 04:10:03 · answer #8 · answered by LMnandez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is in the AF. I see this all the time. Of course maybe they really are in love and it feels right.
2006-12-12 04:12:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
likly out come is they well be happy and live there live out together why think poorly of them let it be what it is
2006-12-12 03:51:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋