I have been seeing a man for the past 8 months who is still legally married.He was seperated and about to end an unhappy marriage. He told his wife about me and now all of a sudden she wants him back and says she still loves him. He is truly confused, as am I. We love each other but now he is torn because he feels guilt about his marriage - his wife says she deserves a second chance and he isn't trying hard enough to save their marriage. We have a long distance relationship but had been talking about moving closer to each other. Now everything seems up in the air. I love this man and I know he loves me. He has a son with his wife and doesn't want to risk losing him. Should I hang on and fight for him? He doesn't want to lose me he says but he feels he needs to work on his marriage. I am so torn,I love him.
2006-12-12 03:30:37 · 12 answers · asked by sundance 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no, always complete one relationship before starting another.
tell him when and if he gets divorced to give you a call, you may be available. sitting around and waiting should not even be an option, neither is messing around with a married man.
2006-12-12 03:59:27 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt!...Time for you to walk, my friend, and the sooner the better. I have no doubt about your love for one another, but if you really love, care about and respect each other, you need to let him go. It hurts like hell, but you will get over it in time. Remember, his wife was his first true love and that's why they got married. Rightfully, she does deserve a second chance and he's lucky she's willing to give him one. In addition, there's a child involved. Don't mess up this little boy's life.... From what I understand, once a cheater always a cheater. Who's to say, in a few years, he's not going to cheat on you? Keep the relationship at a distance where it belongs and promise yourself NEVER get involved with a married man AGAIN. They belong to someone else and will never be your's alone....Give him up and move on with your life...Good Luck!
2006-12-12 04:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would back off and give him the time he needs to think about it. Then let him decide. If it's true love he'll come back. He has to follow his heart and do what's best for him. Take a break. It's not the end unless he goes the other way with his wife.
2006-12-12 03:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by pq4u72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is even considering going back to his wife, leave. He will not pick you because he has a past with her and because of the obligation to his son, he will probably pick her over you in a second. He may be just telling you what you want to hear in case it doesn't work out with his wife.
2006-12-12 03:34:40 · answer #4 · answered by Andrea D. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he is even considering working on the marriage, that means he isn't going to be with you. can't build a relationship at the expense of someone elses unhappiness, will never work out. if she was so bad, and he was so unhappy why now is he jumping at the chance to go back to her? time to get out of it, and give his wife a chance with what belongs to her.
2006-12-12 04:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really do love him then give him a chance to try and make his marriage work. I know it seems really unfair, but you often don't know what you've got until it's gone, he has a history and a child with this woman - make it easier for him and back off, he will soon come to a proper decision then.
2006-12-12 03:36:40 · answer #6 · answered by aunty.shaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to me when i say this: IF HE HASNT LEFT HER YET, THEN CHANCES ARE HE NEVER WILL! he is still in a relationship with her. if he didnt have feelings for her than he wouldve left already, regardless of how she feels. if it was truly over it would be over by now. now, listen to me closely when i say this too- HE DOESNT BELONG TO YOU, THAT IS STILL HER HUSBAND. GET OUT OF THE PICTURE, YOU SLEEPING WITH A MARRIED MAN MAKES YOU AN ADULTERESS, AND A HOME WRECKER. leave him be. and if he truly gets a divorce, without your motivation, then you can move on with him. but at this point you are with a man that doesnt belong you. she is still his wife, and they are still together, separated does not mean divorce. if he wants to leave her, let him leave her on his own. get out of the situation, dont get caught in the middle of this mess. there is court case that happened in North Carolina where a woman sued her husbands girlfriend for wrecking her marriage. her defense was that if the mistress would have gotten out of the picture and let them work their marriage out they may have stayed together. and the mistress ended having to pay dearly for staying in the picture and not letting the husband make his own decision. so maybe you should think about that. until he is divorced- he does not belong to you. and unless you want to pay his wife for damages because you wrecked their marriage, i suggest you get out and stay out until it is over.
2006-12-12 03:45:28 · answer #7 · answered by DropdEadGorgEous! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, this is a no-win situation for you. You could be seriously hurt emotionally as well as having a damaged reputation and still not end up with the man. If you want to continue the relationship, I suggest that you wait until he is through his divorce before dating him.
2006-12-12 03:35:35 · answer #8 · answered by James and Cynthia B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no, if he won't go through the proper steps to get a divorce, then holla back champ! Remember, his wife could cause some serious damage to you still cause they married! Reflect on O.J Simpson...
2006-12-12 03:35:05 · answer #9 · answered by The Answer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are lost girl........I don't particularly believe the story of the kid if he is unhappy in his marriage and he has you.....whats the matter....I think he is playing a double game be clever and live your own life do be the mistress or the second option......let it go...........stop playing games...
2006-12-12 03:39:09 · answer #10 · answered by haki 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋