First of all, thank you for all of your answers! My fiance wants children in a year or two...when he thinks it will be a better time; when it is planned. He is trying everything he can to get me to terminate this pregnancy. Why does he think that if we have thiis child now will ruin our lives and not in a year or two? He says if I choose to have our baby (which I am) that he will never forgive me for ruining our lives. I am so hurt and confused.
2006-12-12 03:25:18 · 13 answers · asked by nagolesile 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Don't let anyone - fiance, friends, or family - talk you into killing your child. There is never the "perfect" time to have a child.
So, your fiance says that your relationship is over because he will resent you if you have this child? How do you think you're going to feel towards your fiance if he successfully pressures you into killing your child? I let that happen to me back in 1989 and it is the worst thing I've ever done. You will never be the same, especially once you DO decide to have children. It is only then that you will come to know the FULL scale of the tragedy of abortion.
Here are some testimonials from women AND men who regret their abortions...read them, study them, learn from them. Think of the long term...think of the life that already lives inside you!
http://www.priestsforlife.org/postabortion/postabortiontestimonymen.htm
http://www.priestsforlife.org/postabortion/postabortiontestimonywomen.htm
Here are also many other resources for true and un-whitewashed facts about abortion.
God bless you and give you the strengh to choose LIFE. :-)
2006-12-12 06:14:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
understanding peoples feelings and how they handle situations is a hard thing to do. In all honesty I dont think he should be trying to make you get an abortion, if hes man enough to have unprotected sex he should be man enough to handle the outcome. I want you to think about this... the way he is handling this situation, you know you dont like or appreciate it, so is this someone that you think you can handle spending the rest of your life with??? Its ok to have disagreements, but he is punishing you in every way imaginable... If you have an abortion, you will hurt, physically and emotionally. If you dont he will make you feel like crap for ruining his life?!??! So either way someone is going to be hurt here..Id rather him be the one hurt...know what I mean??
Now you could always choose adoption..in this situation it sounds like the best thing to do... I honestly would be worried to leave my child alone with him being that "it" ruined his life!!! This is totally up to YOU its your body, your emotions.. you dont need a man to help raise a child I mean its nice but plenty of women do it on there own...... give the child a chance!!!!! In my opinion abortion should only be used if you were raped or you ended up becoming pregnant by an abusive drug addicted psycho...
I wish you and the baby the best of luck congratulations btw!!!!
oh one more thing... one of my girlfriends was married to a complete jerk, never got along, hit her, verbally abused her and she would never leave him, a few years went by and they had a baby... after the baby was born she refused to take any more of his CRAP..... all she needed was the strength to leave him, her baby boy gave her that strength... its absolutely AMAZING what joy and happiness a child can bring you!!!
2006-12-12 03:35:31 · answer #2 · answered by HH72 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suspect it would never be "the right time". And either way you are pregnant now, so that doesn't matter.
I strongly advise outside help, you can often get counselling for free if you are pregnant. Also you can get assistance from a pastor/priest if you are religious.
You may end up raising this baby alone, I hope that is ok with you.
2006-12-12 03:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already know what to do. Ditch his sorry as.s. He sounds very controlling and you do not want to deal with that junk for the rest of your life. Have your baby. Love it tons and you will find someone who will love you and your baby. If it were me, I would make sure he never saw the kid, only because if he already resents it, I think he will probably treat it badly. Get your ducks in a row, apply for WIC, get some assistance if you need it and tell him to hit the MF road.
2006-12-12 03:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by Local Celebrity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't terminate the pregnancy, just think of that little baby in your arms, with or without him. A dad is just a dad....but a mom is forever. You are in control. If he really loves you he will love the baby too.
2006-12-12 03:28:03 · answer #5 · answered by chatterella 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you know i thought the same thing with my 1st and 2nd child i really didn't want kids at all but i ended up with 2. pregnancy is a very emotional time. and with the father of your child saying stuff like that, will really hurt your feelings. but i bet ya once you have the baby it will change his mind once he sees the baby and holds it. he can say whatever all he wants to say but once he realizes that hes a father it'll hit him and hopefully he'll change
2006-12-12 03:38:51 · answer #6 · answered by anjel d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do whats best for you. Im sorry hun but by him saying things like that hes being very hurtful. You need someone whos gonna support you with whatever decision you decide to make.
2006-12-12 03:29:24 · answer #7 · answered by krystyna 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHat!? Doesn't he understand that having abortion will ruin your life...not only as a couple, but your emotional state as well. By posting this question you know it would happen. I'm sure he does care about your well being...hopefully he is an understanding person.
2006-12-12 03:29:34 · answer #8 · answered by sealguy77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your fiance is being really selfish. You have to do what you think is right. If he wants to make you feel guilty for not doing what he wants, then maybe he's not the man you think he is. You should listen to your heart and do what you think is best. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-12 03:29:13 · answer #9 · answered by goodhrtdgrl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT NOW! You don't need to be brought down by that bullsh!t!!
Trust me sweetie - I went through the exact same thing, and it only ended badly. You don't need someone around you telling you what to do all the time. Please, for your own sake, just let him go. You will find another better guy down the road.
2006-12-12 03:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋