We moved out together about 5 months ago(were engaged), its been very rocky from the start, what bothers me, Is i paid for almost all the furniture, plus pay my exact half of every bill, and i buy all the groceries. Ontop of that I'm ending up doing most of the chores, laundry, cleaning, dishes, garbage, pet care, and once in a blue moon he may do something but thats rare. And he goes out with friends sometimes not coming home till late late 1 am or later. Since I dont have friends I'm a bit of a lonar, but after 4-5 years together you would think he would at least introduce me to his friends or offer me to hang out with them one night instead of leaving me behind. What would you do? I have 8 months left on the apartment contract and parents that want me home badly to get me out of debt and finish college. What should i do? I love him but can I really live with him....
2006-12-12 03:21:42 · 18 answers · asked by cats4ever2k1 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh yeah I make less then he does, so he pockets his extra money which i never see cause we have to sepreate accounts- while i go broke.
2006-12-12 03:22:45 · update #1
wow- soudns like he's taking advanatge of you.
2006-12-12 03:23:46 · answer #1 · answered by Cheesy Stuff 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So you've been dating this guy for years, but you had no idea he was a jerk until you moved in with him? I know you love him, but love is not enough. Obviously he doesn't want a wife, a true partner. He wants a housemaid who helps with the bills and sleeps with him.
Your parents are absolutely right. Stop having sex with this guy immediately, and move home. Take all the stuff you bought with you. Find someone else to take over your share of the lease, or pay your half if necessary, but do it from your parents' home. Once the lease is up, never talk to this idiot again.
2006-12-12 11:27:00 · answer #2 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not the beginnings of a successful union. If I were you I would move back in with your parents. Even if you continued to cover half of the next 8 month's rent...you will be better off. You won't have to contribute to the utilities (who cares if he has water and heat) and you won't have to be his servant anymore.
One of two things will happen. One, he will continue with his current behavior without missing a beat--and you will know before you married him that this was all a mistake. Or two, he'll look around and realize that he's been a smuck and respect you more and work with you to work things out. Either way--its a win-win situation.
2006-12-12 11:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you seriously want to get married to this type of person. It is obvious that he is seeking house wife. Over 4years and he does not introduced you to his friends or invite you out with them, i think that you should seriously return home, i know it may not be your first choice but think about it, you are getting the opportunity to finish college, your debts covered. You will be able to increase your chance of acquiring a higher salary and to meet that special someone waiting to share:house chores, bills,ect.. and even the rest of his life with you.
Do not give up all this for a guy that sees it unfit for you to be introduced to his friends. Move back home immediately and toss him the ring he gave - if he was the one that paid for it.
2006-12-12 11:42:38 · answer #4 · answered by Rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he may be taking advantage of you, but in his defense you are making it easy for him. Show him how you feel about it by leaving the trash over flowing fora cuple of days, the dishes dirty, the laundry unwashed...show him that you aren't there to take after him. Start going out. It doesn't have to be to a bar until all odd hours of the morning, but hang out at your parent's place for dinner, or crash there one night, and don't tell him. His reaction will indicate whether or not he sees you as a roommate or a girlfriend.
Best of luck.
2006-12-12 11:30:26 · answer #5 · answered by Jennalove311 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like no way to live. this guy is using you! if you can't have an adult conversation with him about it, then maybe you're not ready to make these adult decisions (ie living together, marriage, etc.) or maybe you are, but just not with him! Regardless, I think you should take a step back from the situation for a little bit--remove yourself from the environment and reflect on what YOU want. You have to make yourself happy first before anyone else can. Take up a new hobby!
2006-12-12 11:25:12 · answer #6 · answered by should be working 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself- Do I really want a man like this, is this worth marrying a husband who goes out till one am, doesnt care about my feelings, leaves me hanging with all the bills, doesnt show what a REAL man is suppose to be like?
That will answer your question
2006-12-12 11:25:02 · answer #7 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, leave him as soon as you can. He doesn't respect you. He stays with you because you do everything for him and the household. You are a guys dream because he can do whatever he wants when he wants it and get away with it. If it's been rocky from the start it will only get worse. Get out of the situation when you can.
2006-12-12 11:29:44 · answer #8 · answered by Andrea D. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa...well my advice to to you is sit him down and just be up front and honest with him. Tell him you feel like you are doing almost everything in this whole living situation and relationship. Just tell him everything you feel and want out of the relationship. He might snap and get with it. Try to do it calmly as possible. So that he doesn't feel like you are attacking him. If he loves you him will make an effort to try and change.
2006-12-12 11:26:57 · answer #9 · answered by Mz.H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably consider breaking up with this guy. If his laziness and disrespect towards you is happening now, things are not going to change in the future. Do it now, before you become common-law in which case, he would be entitled to half of your possesions. Take your furniture and other things and get out.
2006-12-12 11:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
change things to your advantage. Let him step up.. give him room to do that.
stop just stop paying for everything.. let him be a man.. make him be a man.
and maybe don't be there so much.. even go to the library, or something, but don't be so available. Make him work for it a little more so to speak.
good luck, hon
2006-12-12 11:25:58 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋