My girlfriend is telling me that when you are dating someone even if it is going to become serious that you should not give him your all until you have been in the relationship for a while meaning at least a year. She said that while you are dating and at least up to the first 6 months of the relationship you should still keep your side pieces (friends with benefits). She said the reason why women get hurt is because they find a man who treats them well in the beginning and then end up hurting them in the end, and since you got rid of all your side pieces now you have no one and you are all alone, but if you keep your side pieces in the beginning then you can easily bounce back when the relationship doesn’t work. Do you guys think that’s how it should be in order to protect yourself? She said you are not suppose to give a man your all because that tends to cloud your judgement and you start not doing certain things like the guy is your husband, and then you are stuck once he dumps you.
2006-12-12 03:10:23 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
?? absolutly not!! IF it becomes serious how are you going to explain that you've had 'side friends' the whole time? Then you will have to work through trust issues with him. And if you love someone you should love them with ALL your heart with no fear.That is one of the best feelings in the world. Choose your guys the right way and your heart will be protected by God. Ask him to show you the one thats for you and to guard your heart from everybody else. Worked for me, I met a guy, fell in love in less than a month, engaged at three months, married shortly after, first baby on the way!! And my husband is the sweetest thing and takes care fo me(ie. he spoils the sh*t out of me)
2006-12-12 03:22:06 · answer #1 · answered by TEXAS 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your girlfriend is either a slut or has some major relationship issues. Either way, that's an icky situation. As a female who has been burned--more than once--I always have my guard up so I don't get hurt. However, if I really want to be with someone I have to let that guard down, thus possibly setting myself up for getting hurt. But that is life--it's all about taking risks and learning from experiences. It sounds like either you both have different values and priorities when it comes to relationships, or that she's just got a warped sense of what relationships are supposed to be like. It's supposed to about love and laughter--not screwing around with other people so you can "easily bounce back when the relationship doesn't work".
2006-12-12 03:19:18 · answer #2 · answered by cna_77381 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with half of what your friend told you. No, at the early stages of a relationship, you should make sure you put yourself first and don't focus all of your energy on the person you're seeing. Hang out with friends, have alone time, pursue hobbies, and even flirt a little if you need to. It's okay to wait until a relationship gets serious before you put all your eggs in one basket (become marriage minded, put him or her first, devote most of your time and energy to the relationship, etc..)
The only thing that muddies it all up for me is the concept of hanging on to your f--- buddies. For one, indiscriminate sex is immoral and leads to a lot of messy problems (STDs, unwanted pregnancy, stress and heartache), and for two, it doesn't set a very firm foundation for your relationship to have a piece or two on the side.
Best of luck to you!
2006-12-12 03:20:23 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll say I tend to put all of my eggs in 1 basket, and it's turned out bad before. I can understand and agree with your friends philosophy, but I'm a 1 guy girl and I dont try to play the field. I'm not saying you should limit yourself and close off all other options right away, but if you have a serious interst in someone you shouldnt have friends with benefits. If there is someone I'm intersted in, I try to focus on that- not other men.
2006-12-12 03:28:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating on someone from the very beginning is not a very smart way to build a relationship. If you're not willing to give it your all, then you shouldn't even bother trying.
2006-12-12 03:18:15 · answer #5 · answered by Ritz Grimarren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure. Do artwork or go abode. i imagine the harmful aspects are particularly obtrusive. you need to lose each and every thing contained in the wink of a watch, a snap of your finger. even with the undeniable fact that, the convenience is you install your all, each and every thing you've were given--so the end result will be that a lot more effective. i imagine you need to continually positioned each and every thing into what you do. you purely get extra out of it.
2016-11-25 22:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on age and where you and the other person are in life. But I would say if you are still in high school or not far removed, yea you probably should take it slow.
2006-12-12 03:19:32 · answer #7 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never be with 1 seroius untill your at least 25.
go to blowmeuptom.com
2006-12-12 03:13:43 · answer #8 · answered by polockpete40 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree 100%.
2006-12-12 03:13:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
FIRST OF ALL I DONT BELIVE IN FRIENDS WITH BENFITS THAT JUST WRONG!!! AND IF I LOVE A MAN ENOUGHT TO SLEEP WITH HIM THEN I BEST BUT ALL MY EGGS IN THE BASKET OR WE DONT HAVE ANYTHING BUT SEX
2006-12-12 03:18:00 · answer #10 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋