im pregnant i just found out 1 day ago. My boyfriend is not saying much. it doesn't seem like he wants to fully commit and do this. We are not exactly ready for a child but we can make some changes to go through with this ofcourse. Im terrified because if we're not going to have a future i don't want to be alone with my child. I had an abortion before and i said i wouldn't do it again. But is it really fair to have this child and struggle? i feel like im in a movie or something. like its not real i can't even think straight help!
2006-12-12 02:36:16 · 16 answers · asked by just me 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
different opinions on this one , me i would have the child and give it up for adoption rather than having an abortion ,
2006-12-12 02:41:41 · answer #1 · answered by 4ryan 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Let's have a look at this in context! Let's for one minute regard you as an honest person. Now, looking at this in the context of your previous questions.. you are 23, have had 35 different men in your bed.. your b/f was cheating on you and treating you badly.. and you are pregnant again..after having had an abortion previously... Girl, you have serious problems! You are obviously .. how shall I put it.. not a woman of any morals and need some man in your bed all the time! The problem is what to do with the child conceived from someone who you think (and want to blame on..) is this cheating boyfriend that you wanted to get over a few days ago!! All I can say is, get help but fast.. be it the truth or a fantasy, you are SICK!!
2006-12-12 04:13:10 · answer #2 · answered by Jorge E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An abortion is a very difficult decision to make and to live with. I
am pro-choice but there are alot of circumstances that should be considered, I don't know how old you are, and what kind of financial circumstances you are in, aside from the fact that you are the only one who knows what is best for you.Weigh all your options, and if you feel that it will be very hard on you to do it alone, then do what is best for you. There's no guarantee that your boyfriend will be by your side, so the decision clearly is on you, as it is in every woman's life. Ultimately, we are the ones who have to be prepared for the long haul.Pray, if you can for God to shed some light in this very difficult decision you must make.
You'll know in your heart when he answers, I did. At 20 I was not mentally or financially able to go ahead with the pregnancy, at 26 I got pregnant again, and I decided that I was much better prepared, both mentally and financially, today my son is 20 and I would do it all again, because I was ready and independent, I didn't want to depend on a boyfriend for anything, so much so, that he has never been in my son's life nor did I pursue child support, much to my families dismay. I wanted to have the child, and therefore it was my duty, I thought to raise him, without putting him through any unnecessary stress, of courts, dna, accusations, and mud-slinging. So like I said, as much as I had regretted having an abortion, I knew I could not be the parent that my child deserved, it hurt me for years, but today, I have my biological son who is 20, I married a man, who had custody of his three sons, and God granted me a second chance to raise and love 3 wonderful boys as my own, their ages are 28.24,19. I hope my story, helps you in your time of confusion. God Bless you and may God give you the strength to carry out whatever your decision is. Happy Holidays and Best Wishes to you .
2006-12-12 03:02:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your man is not going to support you with this struggle, if I were walking in your shoes, I honestly wouldn't have the baby. I know abortion is a crime but girlfriend if you're feeling like this now, can you imagine how you're going to be feeling once the baby is born? You may have a huge Post Traumatic Syndrome Attack and hurt that child. I'm not saying that you're violent. It's just sometimes emotional situations can hit you and knock you on your @ss! If your man doesn't straighten up and fly right, then have the abortion and kick his tired @ss to the curve. There are a lot of good men out there and you don't need to put up with that sh*t he's dishing out!
2006-12-12 02:42:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want an abortion don't have one. There are other options. If you don't feel you are ready for a child or aren't in a position where you could look after it properly then you could find someone who'd like to adopt. And regarding your boyfriend, if you decide to take care of the kid yourself and he isn't excited about being a father, then both you and the kid would be better off by yourselves. There's not much worse than a parent who doesn't want to be there.
2006-12-12 02:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by creamy69 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just go through with the 9 months gestation then put the baby up for adoption, maybe you can even those people who want to take care of you while you are pregnant so that the baby will be healthy when it's born. There are a lot of couples looking for kids of their own. Don't waste this life, we'll never know what greatness this kid can bring to the world.
2006-12-12 03:20:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
DIdn't you learn anything the first time you had an abortion? How old are you? You obviously can't get married to him..he doesn't want to and you're not sure what you want. Your decision is basically whether you want to raise a child alone or have another abortion.
2006-12-12 02:40:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You just found out! You need to relax and let it sink in and let your boyfriend do the same. Then you can discuss what you both are going to do.
I don't think that regular, everyday folks are totally prepared to have children. My boyfriend and I worked very hard to prepare for the birth of our son. We still do, but I'm not really missing the things I can't afford anymore. (like movies, eating out, new clothes each week)
If you don't think you can take care of the baby and don't want to abort, how about adoption?
2006-12-12 02:45:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this question has popped up more times than one.. first thing you do, and ask your bf if he really does love you, if the answer is yes, then you should ask him to help. if no, get out of there. if you're sure you don't want to get an abortion, you should try and turn to someone you really care about. but if you do go back on your own word and decide to, then you're killing an unborn for no reason other than the fact that you don't want it. it hasn't done anything to you at all. so why kill another? your best chances are to turn to your parents, or someone who has always been there for you. i hope this helps a bit. godspeed...
2006-12-12 02:42:38 · answer #9 · answered by xXLadyBladeXx 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is going to sound harsh but if you are not responsible enough to understand how to use contraceptives properly when you don't want to get pregnant then you aren't responsible enough to be with someone physically at all. (Not to mention being the mother of a child or being married.) You should have learned from the first time.
2006-12-12 02:41:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋