Are we ready for marriage?

Question

I am 23 and he is 30. We met back in May 2005 while I was still in college. We both hoped for me to find a job that was closer to him but that didn't work out as planned. So he lives 2 and 1/2 hours away from me. For for a year and a half he didn't and I never seriously dated anybody. We liked each other a lot and talked to each other over the phone just about every other night. The only thing that was keeping us apart was the distance. Two months ago he decided he would like to take the chance and officially date me. The weird thing is before we got together he was asking me questions like what style of engagement ring did I want and how many kids I wanted to have and he kept saying when we're married. Do you think we could be ready for the next step?

He's moving to be closer to me in a few months.

Answer 1

I think you could be, you're certainly old enough. I've always been of the opinion that you date to marry, so the fact that he's asking all these questions to see if your the kind of person he wants to make his wife is a good thing. You should be asking him questions too, and start sincerely asking yourself if he's the kind of person you want to make your husband.

Try to set aside your emotions and consider as objectively as possible if he's the kind of guy that will honor you, be faithful to you, can agree on how to use money with, can argue with you without personally attacking you, shares in your beliefs about what's most important in life and how to raise children etc.

This is probably one of the most important decisions of your life so take it very seriously, but I can say, I fretted over this decision time and time again with the guys I had dated, and it seemed so hard, but then, when it was right, when I was considering my now husband - it seemed so simple, and clear, and easy. Almost every happy wife I've ever talked to about it has said the same thing, so I think it would be fair to expect some clarity when it's right.

good luck!

Answer 2

I would wait, If you can't say, "I am so ready to get married and I know for sure this is the right guy" and you have no doubts about it AT ALL.. you are ready. otherwise enjoy dating and getting to really know each other better and it will be more a successful relationship. Marriage is ALOT of work and it takes the ultimate commitment to the other person.

Answer 3

No. Talking on the phone is a lot different than being together. You need to spend time in the same space. You may not like his habits. And how does he act in public with you? Spending time together is very important b/c you learn the others habits.

Answer 4

Your only relationship is a phone one. Wait until you two have spent some time together to really get to know each other. Once you've spent real quality time together, then you'll know whether or not you're reay to get married.

Answer 5

Not yet....but maybe after a year of living close to one another and getting to know each other's families (you marry the whole crew, you know). Take it slow, especially if he has been married before and/or has children.

You've got plenty of time. Take it.

Answer 6

He sounds dangerous to me. 2 1/2hrs away is not that far. Due to work circumstances, my husband drives 4 hours (one way) to see me and the kids every weekend until our warehouse is done. You DON'T know this man, and you are very young. Any man trying to rush into marriage is hiding his true nature.

Answer 7

No, you need to spend at least a couple of years living with or close to him to get to really know him.

Answer 8

Although you may not like this answer. If you have to ask that question on here, it means you are unsure. If you are unsure then no, you are not ready for marriage.