My husband doesn't get horny anymore?

Question

Within our 1 year marriage and 6 yr. relationship my husband doesn't get horny anymore do to me rejecting him whenever he wanted to have sex and now that he doesn't get horny it's me now who runs to him for sex and even though he often wants to he just doesn't get horny. I know that this is my fault but we want to fix things but where do you start without forcing it? I want things to come natural, I want him to get horny again just by looking at me like he use to even when I wear sexy items it doesn't work so what do I do to get things to come naturally?

P.S. I tried walking around the house naked, talking dirty, telling him how sexy he is, moving his hand around my body when I have nothing on, even kissing him more often but he says that even kissing me isn't the same anymore.

Answer 1

u have got a problem here.. probably you are too cold for him!!!

Answer 2

Well, I would think that you two need to start off like you were dating again. You two have been together for a while. He may have other stresses on his mind that keeps him from thinking about sex. Going out on dates might help. Touching each other like you used to will help. This didn't happen over night and won't be fixed over night. But if you two are willing it can be fixed. Keep at it and add some variety to your life. Try new things. But most of all you two need to talk. Communication is the key. Find out what he wants. What is blocking him. Let him know what you want. Talk!!!

Answer 3

Combination of things:
1) Have him go to the doctor (urologist) to find out if there is something organically wrong. He may/probably has a lower testosterone level than before. This is a lot more common than you might think and it can be easily corrected.
2) Your having rejected him so much may have created a mental pattern of aversion to wanting to have sex. In other words, he may have trained himself to find you unattractive so that he wouldn't want you so much. Maybe that worked and, coupled with a lower testosterone level, he's effectively shut down his ability to become aroused.
3) Due to your rejection and now complete turnaround, he may be confused about his sexuality and having some psychological problems with self-confidence. Therapy may help.
4) Is he taking any prescription medications? Do you suspect that he may be taking drugs of any kind? Does he drink alcohol a lot? Sid effects of any of these can be loss of libido.
5) He may have taken a lover. Sad though this might be, it could ultimately be a positive if you take responsibility for your contribution to his having done so and rework your marriage through counseling. Of course, he will have to commit to stopping the affair and getting your relationship back on course.

Hope that helps.

Answer 4

Wow, that's way too early to start having intimacy problems. Do you guys have any other type of problems? Communication, financial and so on? Do you guys tell each other what you like and don't like?

DO NOT blame yourself. You need to have a VERY serious talk with him and get counseling if needed. Is there another woman? Does he still love you? These questions might scare you but you MUST find out. COMMUNICATION, do not let this situation continue.

Answer 5

Ahhh! Did you ask him what his turn ons are? It's okay to try different things but being direct is the way to go if you want to find something that works. Sometimes it just doesn't come naturally (without much effort) you have to work at it like love and marriage.

Answer 6

I would talk about it. You see, that is what happens when women keep saying "no" to their husbands. Eventually, the husbands give up asking cause they get rejected so many times. Now, when you want it, he's not interested.

Do you understand how he feels now? This is totally your own doing.

Having said that, you guys should just try talking about it. Make some time to go out together for dinner. Get dressed up and have a nice meal. See what happens from there.

If you manage to get this sorted out, which is might not be, then remember this in the future when you are saying "no".

Answer 7

Believe me your husband's horniness has not diappeared. He's just grown tired of you. This is a normal phase of any relationship. Sex, as you know, is not purely physical. Most of the preliminary steps are all in our minds. Change your attitude and see how things will pick up rather quickly.

Answer 8

Wow where were all u women when I was single. I married and was accused of being a pervert cause I wanted sex every day! Got divorced after 22 years of having sex about 1 or 2 times a month and got sick of her saying all I wanted to do was have sex! Just can't win huh ladies?

Answer 9

First start dating again. Go out once a week even if you have kids this should be a habit.
Ask him to be honest with his Internet usage he may have gone somewhere else to get his satisfaction. If you can develop the dating relationship and fall in love again like when you first started dating you can get back to the sex you are looking for. If a husband feels loved and more than loved "respected" he will be turned on and the fire will be back.

Answer 10

How many pounds have you gained since you two became engaged? Do you take care of yourself and dress the same now, as before? Or perhaps, your sex life is just in a rut.

I recommend joining a gym and toning up. Going to a salon for nice hair cut and wearing trendy clothing with nice makeup.

In addition to this, just chill out and pretend that sex with him is not important to you anymore. This will cause him to start wondering what's going on in your life. Right now he knows. Get him thinking, ok?

Answer 11

I think is nothing to with that of your fought, because no matter my wife reject me I still get horny eveytime she get closed to me. Unless I think something else when every time she closed to me, than I can control my horny to her.
something else which can be meaning my favorite foodball game, my children, my work or if not I hope is not others women.